Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

Parenting Positive Kids Parenting Positive Kids

Are parents responsible for teen drinking, even if they don't know about it?

Posted by on Oct. 5, 2012 at 9:31 AM
  • 16 Replies

Just as kids will be kids, teens will be teens.

And so it was that at a party of about 40 high school students in Menlo Park, Calif., last month, the music was too loud and the teens – celebrating the last football game of the season – got rowdy.

So rowdy that someone called the police, who came to the house and determined that some of the kids, ages 17 and 18, were, according to a police spokesperson, "displaying the signs of being under the influence of an alcoholic beverage."

The police then arrested dad and Stanford professor Bill Burnett, who along with wife Cynthia was hosting the party for their son, a high school senior. The charge against Burnett: 44 counts of contributing to a minor’s delinquency. Burnett spent a night in jail and faces a year’s sentence and/or a  pricey fine.

The kicker of the story?  Burnett and his wife insist they did not know there was alcohol in their house. In fact, they told TODAY, they tried to do everything possible to make sure there wouldn't be drinking at the party.

"We put really clear rules in place and we were patrolling the party," Bill Burnett told Matt Lauer. "My wife and I were both at the house. We were upstairs. The kids were downstairs in the basement. So we were there the whole time, I went through the party a couple times. I brought chocolate chip cookies. I was about to bring them brownies when the police came."

 Lauer asked Cynthia Burnett if, in hindsight, there was anything she could have done differently.

"I don't think there is anything else we could have done short of sitting there in the middle of the party," she replied. "You talk with your kids about how to be safe, how to make good choices, how to take care of each other. You let them know that you're there, both supervising and in case they get-- they do make bad choices."

But good intentions aren't enough in the eyes of the law, legal analyst Star Jones said on TODAY.

"They were absolutely wrong," Jones told Lauer. By law in California and many other states, parents are responsible for what happens to teens under their roof -- even if they're clueless. "Your job as a parent is to supervise and exercise control and protection and when you don't, the police have to step in, especially when there's alcohol involved."

The Burnetts' case have many parents wondering if they're doing enough -- or if you can ever do enough to keep teens from drinking at parties.

In a story for the Palo Alto Patch, writer Lisen Stromberg says that Burnett, apparently, had done everything he could to keep the party safe and the teenagers in line.

He told the neighbors there would be a party just so they knew he knew what was going on. He and his wife (who'd just had major back surgery) were there to “keep an eye on things.” (Rumor has it he was baking chocolate chips cookies to give to the kids when the police pounded on his front door).  He did everything right, and still it all fell apart. 

Stromberg raises the question: What’s a good parent to do?

If we want to celebrate these special events in our teenaged children’s lives, we place ourselves at risk. So is the answer, no parties? Doesn’t that place our children at greater risk? Let’s face it, as much as we might like to ignore or deny it, our kids are going to find a way to party.

What do you think? Should parents be held responsible for teen drinking at their house, even if they didn’t condone it?

 Note: This post was updated with the Burnetts' comments on Dec. 8.

by on Oct. 5, 2012 at 9:31 AM
Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Replies (1-10):
SabrinaLC
by on Oct. 5, 2012 at 9:46 AM

Hmm.. it's hard.

I mean, they were in the house where the drinking was going on. So technically they are responsible.  It's just sad that it happened.

kimberly161
by on Oct. 5, 2012 at 2:36 PM
1 mom liked this

 I do believe they are responsible for letting the party even get out hand in the first place. It was all irresponsible.

CafeMom Tickers
Meltopia529
by on Oct. 5, 2012 at 4:12 PM
I think they're responsible.
Posted on CafeMom Mobile
mysticalmalissa
by Gold Member on Oct. 6, 2012 at 7:32 AM

Unfortunately it happened at their home, so yeah they are responsible.


sweetlyblissful
by on Oct. 6, 2012 at 10:30 PM

I guess they are responsible.  The allowable drinking age here is 18, so I find it a little much to charge the parent's when the kids are almost considered adults themselves.

LuvingRN
by on Oct. 7, 2012 at 5:02 PM

 I think it's a tough call....I really don't think the parents should be held responsible.  Why not make the teens be held responsible?  What is that teaching them....that they can get away with it as long as theres an adult in the house??

GirlsofSummer
by on Oct. 7, 2012 at 5:08 PM
1 mom liked this

 It is a difficutl situation, however, I think that by now everyone know that if kids are partying under your roof you will be held responsible. It sucks, but it is fact. Still I find it hard to believe that they could have been so clueless. Teens are clever, but not that clever.

isabellah
by on Oct. 7, 2012 at 5:10 PM
1 mom liked this

Responsible.  I think that holding a party for 40 kids is  crazy no matter what the age of the children.  Keeping alcohol away in that situation with that cohort is pretty much impossible.  Also 2 adults and 40 kids is a little silly too.  There should have been more adults to watch as well. Or better yet maybe adults to be at the party as well.

Drea79
by on Oct. 7, 2012 at 7:56 PM

I dont understand how u wouldnt know.... I mean if your really paying attention to what's going on then i just dont get it... They obviously werent paying as much attention as they said if the party got that out of hand and the cop's were called.

kellynh
by on Oct. 8, 2012 at 1:38 PM
No, kids need to be held accountable for their own behavior!!! If there are that many kids at their house, it's easy to hide!!
Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)