My older step children (4 and 5) have started lying to get each other in trouble. One of them will do something wrong and then they both run to me saying the other did it. It takes a long time for me to get the guilty one to confess. They both end up sitting at the table or in their room for a long time. I feel bad knowing that one of them hasnt done anything and he's still being punished. Any suggestions?
Learn how to tell who's lying. Have them look at your eyes when they talk to you. If they start looking to their left, they are lying. I can always tell when my dd is lying to me. But I can also tell when my brother is lying to me by just talking to him on the phone lol it's a gift lol.
Oh that's hard. I would make it a point when you find out who is the guilty one to only punish that child and not the other.
Lying is always a tough one. One thing I have learned is that lying is driven by attention seeking. So, this says to me that the two kiddos are looking for attention in all the wrong ways. When one comes and lies to you, you could say, "Wow, it looks like you two really need some attention, why don't you come hang out with me at the kitchen table. We will read a book together." It seems counter intuitive to give them positive attention for negative behavior. However, that's what will stop the lying. The more you "ignore the lie and not ignore the child" as Bryan Post tells us, the less they will lie. Also, it's common for 4/5 year olds to lie because they don't really know how to filter their thoughts yet, so they spit out whatever pops into their head. Good luck!
Implement a no tattle rule. If someone tattles on the other they both get the punishment (sent to room, toy taken away, etc).
cold lunch's?!
- steffbar
on Oct. 6, 2012 at 10:50 AM