OK my daughter got bullied on the school bus and she beat the other kid who is a boy. the school principal called me and he was off course mad at both kids both was more concern at my daughter beating up the other kids because he has bruises more than the other kid bullied my daughter. see i know both are wrong and i did not encourage her to do it. but since she beat him up he did stop and he kept quiet and i know some of you mothers might blame me for thinking like that but i am proud of her for standing up for herself. i talked to her about it and she cried and feel bad for hitting the kid but this bullying shit have to stop. he was calling he skinny, she need to eat some more pizza, she is ugly, she don't dress nice enough.the bus driver report him many times before to me and to the school before he never stop until she hits him and now it's been 4 days now he has been quiet. so what do you guys think is the best way for me to talk to my daughter about it because i get so defensive and angry about it i don't want to project the wrong thought to my child. my husband is all over the place he emotion is unstable.
My daughter had someone bully her in Jr. High. Pulled her hair, wrote on her clothes from behind, bumped her in the hall, said things. I told her that if it were me, I'd probably turn around when she hit me or pulled my hair and whack her a good one. My dad taught me to fight or I'd get spanked when I came home. However, she was not comfortable with that and I let her handle it as she chose. She went to the assistant principal. shehad babysat for his family before. He called both the girls in and told the other girl that if he heard anymore about her bothering Denise that she would be expelled. Thee was no more problem. This was about 20 years ago I guess it was or more than 15. So this worked for her. This is probably the best way by taking it to the school. In your area, if the bus driver reported the other kid, then the school should have handled it and I'd defend my child for fighting back when she was bullied. There are times when this gets kids in more trouble though and they continue to pick on them because they think it is funny when they fight back. This time the boy bought off more than he could chew. Good for her. Perhaps you can tell her that you are proud of her for standing up for herself, but sometimes it can get her in trouble and it is better to tell you and then you and she go to the principal and if not resolved, go to superintendent and if not resolved, go to the board. There should b no tolerance for bullying. Yet I had a foster girl and a son near the same ages and she would come in and cry and say he hit her. I was listening on day and she was taunting him, saying, "I bet you can't hurt me." and she said it over and over and he bet he could and hit her. Then when she came in, i told her that if she couldn't play well outside that she could come inside by herself. She didn't like that and after a few times of that, she stopped. She was manipulating him. I was sorry for her but I wasn't having her taunting him and causing him to hit her. I also talked to him and told him she was trying to get him in trouble so he needed to igore her taunts. Maybe you can reassure her you are behind her and do go to the administration and keep on until they do something about the boy. Right now they can't as your daughter fought back and they probably have a no tolerance on fights ad both kids get in trouble. You need to go to the principal or school board if necessary and get copies of the driver's report about them calling her skinny or whatever and back it up with evidence that itis the school's fault as they didn't handle the problem. Good luck to you.
You know what? I say good for your daughter. I can't believe some of the posts I've seen asking what YOU and your daughter have done to mitigate the bullying situation. Are you f**king kidding me? Now we're asking the victims about whether or not they've done enough to make the situation better?
I admit, I grew up a little bit old school. Back in my day, if we had a problem we settled it out in yard. Now, I understand that we're all trying to raise our children to be kinder, gentler, etc. but that's a two way street.
If your daughter were my daughter, I'd sit her down, have a serious conversation about the consequences of violence, then high five her for standing up for herself. We can't protect our children forever. It's got to feel good when you realize they can protect themselves.
Quoting rypam74:
I say a little kid can only take it so long. Good for her. It should always be the last resort when all else fails.
My daughter was bullied in middle school, this kiddo left her with bruises and no one not even the teacher did anything other then moved her from desks. The teacher made up a new seating chart and my daughter was back to sitting with the mean bully. My daughter told him you better not bother me remember what the teacher said and the boy said I dont remember what he said and gave her a big smile. So her aunts and me went to the school and demanded that the school principle do something about this so that afternoon they moved her from classes and she was happy and felt like if she spoke up that we as her family listeneed and did something to protect her from kids that bully. She started doing much better in all her classes and is much happier, she is in the 9th grade now but showing them we as the parents are advocating for them and if we believe in something then that makes them feel stronger and more willing to speak up about what is going on in school.
cold lunch's?!
- ceo-mom
on Nov. 7, 2012 at 3:00 PM