Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

my daughter got bullied and fight

Posted by   + Show Post

OK my daughter got bullied on the school bus and she beat the other kid who is a boy. the school principal called me and he was off course mad at both kids both was more concern at my daughter beating up the other kids because he has bruises more than the other kid bullied my daughter. see i know both are wrong and i did not encourage her to do it. but since she beat him up he did stop and he kept quiet and i know some  of you mothers might blame me for thinking like that but i am proud of her for standing up for herself. i talked to her about it and she cried and feel bad for hitting the kid but this bullying shit have to stop. he was calling he skinny, she need to eat some more pizza, she is ugly, she don't dress nice enough.the bus driver report him many times before to me and to the school before he never stop until she hits him and now it's been 4 days now  he has been quiet. so what do you guys think is the best way for me to talk to my daughter about it because i get so defensive and angry about it i don't want to project the wrong thought to my child. my husband is all over the place he emotion is unstable.

by on Nov. 7, 2012 at 3:00 PM
Replies (141-150):
Misha1204
by on Nov. 8, 2012 at 7:14 PM

This! Good for her!

Quoting rypam74:

I say a little kid can only take it so long. Good for her. It should always be the last resort when all else fails.



stephdean1116
by on Nov. 8, 2012 at 7:15 PM
1 mom liked this

My son went back to school just today after being suspended for 3 days from school. He was sticking up for a girl that was being bullied by another boy , my son and this other boy exchanged some words , my son put his arm around the girl to walk her away from the situation , the other boy shoved him so my son punched him . My son got suspended for 3 days the other boy for 7 . I told my son that while I am proud of him that he was sticking up for the girl , he can't just go around punching people . and that was that . I am very proud of him knowing that he was willing to get "in trouble" in order to stick up for someone who couldn't stick up for themselves ... Good for your daughter for sticking up for herself . You said she feels bad  and to me that's all that's needed to ... She obviously knows right from wrong and she also knows that she has every right to stand up for herself . These school officials are always telling the kids to go tell an adult  and then they do and nothing gets done .... If our kids can't trust the adults what choice do they have ..... 

ajslight
by on Nov. 8, 2012 at 7:19 PM
1 mom liked this

I agree with you.  I would be proud of my daughter.  I plan to teach my children the same thing my mom taught us.  DOn't throw the first punch, but also don't be someone's punching bag.  Some of the bullying is verbal, which in my opinion, is just as bad.  I don't want my child to accept it.  Have you tried to talk with the parents of this child?  May or may not help.  My little sister who is 14, is being bullied by a girl at school, and she also gets it from the mother when in public.  

Glorianna
by on Nov. 8, 2012 at 7:20 PM
2 moms liked this

It is NEVER wrong to defend youself.  Sometimes words work, and they should always be your first resort, but more often than physical defense is what is needed.  You should be proud of her.  She will never be walked on, bullied, taken advantage of or be made to feel worthless.  She was not wrong.  What she did was not wrong.  Bullying would not be as big of an issue as it is now if children were encouraged to stand up to thier bullies and defend themselves. 

shannzuno
by on Nov. 8, 2012 at 7:24 PM
1 mom liked this

I know if it was me I would be proud. I myself was "bullied" at school for being short. But i always stood up for myself[and others incapable or scared too] I remember once in 2nd grade a girl had me in a head lock and wouldnt let go, so i bit her. We both got suspended but she never did mess with me again. [Mind you i never got physical over words, it was only when physically defending myself] "Sticks and Stones may break my bones, but words will NEVER hurt me"

werkinmom
by on Nov. 8, 2012 at 7:25 PM
1 mom liked this
We do not condone violence in our house. However, two years ago there was a child in my daughters class who was pulling her hair out one strand at a time. My daughter was reprimanded for talking in class 3-4 times by the teacher. Finally my daughter got fed up with getting her hair pulled and punched the other child. i believe you should be VERY proud of your child for standing up for herself. In many cases children dont and when the school/parents etc get involved the situation gets worse. .I will say that was the ONLY time my daughter has ever hit another student and we did have a talk about violence as well. As long as your child understands what she did is not always the only way to fix the problem you should be fine. Best of luck!
Posted on the NEW CafeMom Mobile
tinkerbell32
by on Nov. 8, 2012 at 7:27 PM
I think that hitting at any time is wrong but this kid needed to learn a lesson. I have always told my kids don't hit unless your hit first. This kid may have not hit first but he tormented her more then once. I think you should tell your daughter that hitting is wrong but standing up for yourself is not wrong. That under normal circumstances you would not like her to hit. I think you should talk to the kids parents but says a lot about them if they are not even contacting the school back regarding there child. Plus they have not taught there child that being mean to others is wrong.
workingmommy87
by on Nov. 8, 2012 at 7:33 PM

Honestly I tell my daughter all the time "don't be afraid to stand up to a bully". Even if that means beating the crap outta him/her. In the real world there is no one you can go to and complain about being bullied. To an extent there is no real crime in bullying. That bully needs to know that his/her crap will not be tolarated. If your daughter were mine I would be proud of her.

Don't get me wrong, violence isn't the answer. We teach her that there are very few times it's ok to hit someone. We don't let her think that every situation calls for a sucker punch. But we let her know that it is ok to stand up for herself.

I know many moms won't agree with me, but if you don't stop bullying in its tracks it just gets worse. maybe not from the same kid, but once others know you aren't a weak pushover they will take advantage of it fully.

Good luck

JATomlinson
by on Nov. 8, 2012 at 7:43 PM

If the boy got physical with her, then I say it's fine if she defends hereself physically, otherwise she needs to sit up at the front of the bus next to the bus driver and you need to complain daily to the principle and the boy's family until he is either kicked off the bus permanently or it stops.  I don't think physical violence is ok just to deal with words, even though they can be very hurtful.  With words it's one of those 'I'm going to teach my kid to turn the other cheek' sort of thing rather than to stoop to their level.  With her being bodily in danger it's a differnet story, but either way you have to hound the school and the boy's parents both until it stops or he is removed.

momma0ffive
by on Nov. 8, 2012 at 7:50 PM
good for her, I teach my kids you don't go out looking for a fight, you don't hit first, but if someone hits it you better stand up for yourself
Posted on the NEW CafeMom Mobile
Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)