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my daughter got bullied and fight

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OK my daughter got bullied on the school bus and she beat the other kid who is a boy. the school principal called me and he was off course mad at both kids both was more concern at my daughter beating up the other kids because he has bruises more than the other kid bullied my daughter. see i know both are wrong and i did not encourage her to do it. but since she beat him up he did stop and he kept quiet and i know some  of you mothers might blame me for thinking like that but i am proud of her for standing up for herself. i talked to her about it and she cried and feel bad for hitting the kid but this bullying shit have to stop. he was calling he skinny, she need to eat some more pizza, she is ugly, she don't dress nice enough.the bus driver report him many times before to me and to the school before he never stop until she hits him and now it's been 4 days now  he has been quiet. so what do you guys think is the best way for me to talk to my daughter about it because i get so defensive and angry about it i don't want to project the wrong thought to my child. my husband is all over the place he emotion is unstable.

by on Nov. 7, 2012 at 3:00 PM
Replies (151-160):
by on Nov. 8, 2012 at 7:50 PM

Lets see this child got close enough and physical enough to take her boot off of her.  yeah he deserved his beat down and the princpile that is work can pound sand he should have done his job and protected.

And if you like someone of have a crush you don't bully and beat the crap out of them and you don't ateach your daughters that this is ok.  it sets them up to always think it's ok.  I think thats why teen relationship abuse is up because people make excuses.

Is it right to beat the crap out of someone no not really but sometimes like war it's the only answer to protect yourself.

by on Nov. 8, 2012 at 7:55 PM

In my personal experience meeting with the parents sounds good, but never worked and ended up getting my daughter bullied even more. We talked to the school and again that ended up getting her bullied more. One day the bully pushed her, she clocked him, and that ended the bullying! We had tried everything else, while we told her not to get physical unless she was physically assaulted. A push is physical, so she nailed him. When the principal started to punish her by in-school suspension, she reasoned with the principal, asking him why the bully could bully her and nothing was ever done even when witnesses told the principal what happened. In fact, the bully wasn't going to get punished for pushing her. After arguing her point to the principal, and he checked the records, the boy was put in in-school suspension.

Do your best to get the bullying stopped, but if the bully gets physical, your daughter has the right to defend herself. 

by on Nov. 8, 2012 at 8:10 PM
Tell her it is not nice to call people name or tease them but that its not ok to hit others either. Let her know the she is beautiful and is perfect just the way she is. And that if someone teases her or calls her names to just ignore it that they might just be jealous of her or if it is a boy that they might think she's cute. Boys are sometimes mean to a girl when they like them when they are young. And tell her to just report the bad behavior to an adult. And if the school doesn't take care of the problem then go to the school board. And if need be go to the local media.
by on Nov. 8, 2012 at 8:11 PM
First off good for her. I have taught my kids to not be the bully but there are some kids that no matter what (talking to teachers, police etc. ) they never stop. My daughter lived it with a girl that even threatened to kill her. Long story short one day they did get into it because my daughter finally stood up for herself. The billing stopped. Maybe that's what she needed to have the confidence to stand up to another Bully without the fighting.
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by on Nov. 8, 2012 at 8:18 PM
1 mom liked this
I personally think our world has become way to PC. The girl was getting bullied & it sounds like it was happening for a while. Good for her for putting him in his place. I'd be proud too!!!
by on Nov. 8, 2012 at 8:24 PM

You really should teach her to use her words and turn away.  If he had touched her first, it would have been understandable.  Why not enroll her in an anti bullying class and tell the school to pay since they've been ineffective at stopping the bullying.  Many local karate schools run courses as do colleges.  You don't want to send her thewrong message by her getting in trouble when she's bullied...

by on Nov. 8, 2012 at 8:25 PM
I can honestly say that I'm proud of your daughter for standing up
to this bully. Don't get me wrong, I know that fighting is not the
best solution to the problem, but until schools start actively
punishing the kids who are doing the bullying and the parent's of
these bullies take responsibility for their kid's actions, then I'm
certainly going to tell my daughter to stand up for herself if she's
being bullied. It's not right that the kids that are bullied end up
either committing suicide or "going postal" and killing a bunch of
innocent kids that didn't do anything to the bullied child in the
first place and then themselves. Either way, the bully wins and
continues to live their life while the families' of the bullied child &
the innocent children killed in the crossfire have to live with a
lifetime of grief and what if's because their child's life was cut way
to short. I'm teaching my daughter that fighting is not the first
resort, it should be the last, but that I want her to tell me if
someone is bullying her because I will contact the child's parents
and have a heart to heart with them if necessary. That's my duty
as a mother and a parent, to protect my child any way possible.
Hold true in teaching your child to stand up for herself.
by on Nov. 8, 2012 at 8:29 PM
In this case I think she did what she had to. Most times when you stand up to the person and show them your not scared or not going to put up with it, they stop. Now he'll leave her alone, and so will anyone else who even thought of it! I'm proud of her too, applause her courage!

Quoting ceo-mom:

the day before the physical fight happen he pull her boot off and trow it in front of the bus at the bus driver. the bus driver had to sped the bus to get her boot then that's when she lost it and get at him. i personnaly went to pick her up from school to talk to her teacher and the principal before and i called the school the next day the principal said they could not get in touch with his parent but they will work on it.

Quoting Samanthamommy:

Did the boy start getting physical with her, or did she get angry and got physical first? 

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by on Nov. 8, 2012 at 8:30 PM

My daughter was in 6th grade and some girl was running her mouth my daughter ran her mouth back. That pissed the other girl off and she physically attacked my daughter. The school just called me and told me that she had been in a fight. I walked in calm as could be asked who started it.They told me the other girl physically attacked first. I just looked at them and told them that I understand why they had to suspend my child but she was in no trouble with me. I would not punish her for standing up to someone that would physically attack her. The principal, while having to maintain that there is a zero tolerance, said that as a parent he understood. I say good for her. We do not want to raise victims and I be damned if any child should be punished for not allowing some other kid to beat them up. 

by on Nov. 8, 2012 at 8:37 PM
Quoting Rushn311:

Granted she shouldn't of gotten physical, but I think your daughter finally couldn't take his bullying anymore. He bullied more than once and nothing was done, so she tried to put a  stop to it. Good for her for standing up for herself!

I agree with this! It wasn't like it was the first time he name called and she jumped out of her seat and attacked him! She endured his torment long enough and you tried speaking to the school and didn't get results. I think it's important in the world we live in today that kids can protect themselves, no violence isn't always the answer, but sometimes it's necessary to defend yourself. Just talk to her so she doesn't feel like she did something bad, help her understand that hitting and fighting isn't the way we solve our problems but sometimes it's important to stand up for yourself and when there is no choice left you have to react that way. Let her know that taking the right steps in going to the teacher, you or the principle is always best but that she should never let anyone bully her.
I know fighting is "wrong" but if your being harassed and no one is doing anything about it, "you gotta do what you gotta do! " making her feel bad will only discourage her from defending herself in the future and could end up hurting her in the long run. Kids arent committing suicide for nothing today, bullying must be stopped and sometimes all it tales is for a strong kid to stand up against it!
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