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Parenting Positive Kids Parenting Positive Kids

Dealing With Your Child's Bad Behavior at School

Posted by on Nov. 26, 2012 at 2:04 PM
  • 8 Replies

                             

One of the prime goals of a preteen is the beginning of individuation—acting the way they want to act, sometimes not listening to parents or other adults and sometimes even not listening to teachers. What do you do when you get a call from the school that your child was misbehaving? This information and advice can help you get a handle on the situation.

First, ask the teacher what the circumstances of the trouble were.
Was your child provoked by another child at recess or was your child disrespectful to a teacher? These are two very different situations, which you'll likely want to handle differently.

Second, speak to your child about what happened.
Whatever transpired, there will certainly be consequences in school and definitely needs to be consequences at home. And before you deal out consequences, you'll want to be sure you have both sides of the story.

Make the punishment fit the crime.
If your child was provoked at recess by a bully, that is very different from your child speaking disrespectfully to a teacher. In the former situation, you might stress that if your child is provoked in the future, he should walk away and find a responsible adult, even if it means losing face in front of friends. If your child spoke or acted disrespectfully to the teacher, that is a more serious situation. Your child needs to realize that the teacher is the authority figure, the adult in the classroom, and if your child does not like the way the teacher is acting or running the classroom, it is not acceptable to act disrespectfully. (If it seems the teacher is not being respectful to your child, you should discuss that issue with higher authorities on your child's behalf.)

Seek help if the trouble becomes frequent.
If any of these situations occur more often, consultation with a social worker or psychologist might be helpful and provide your child with a safe haven to discuss his or her frustrations or fears. If you are concerned that your child is uncomfortable at school, whether it be because of bullying in the school yard or a teacher who might himself been acting inappropriately, then speak to the principal. Always stress to your child that you are acting in her best interest and will stand by her if someone else is acting the wrong way.

Know your child's friends.
If your child's friends are engaging in inappropriate behavior, make it clear that it is unacceptable for them and tell your child that being a follower is also not good. If necessary, set up some consequences. It is very difficult to change your child's friends during the preteen years, but you can reiterate what is acceptable behavior and use teachable moments to illustrate this. For example, if you find out one of your child's friends has been suspended, talk about this with your child. Discuss why it is wrong and how you would react if your child did this. Keep on top of things. It will be worth the effort as your child enters the teen years.

by on Nov. 26, 2012 at 2:04 PM
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Replies (1-8):
Meltopia529
by on Nov. 26, 2012 at 3:16 PM
Great article! No school aged kids here
Posted on the NEW CafeMom Mobile
MamaMandee
by on Nov. 27, 2012 at 2:12 PM

This is good info! 

Samanthamommy
by on Nov. 27, 2012 at 3:57 PM

Good tips

SabrinaLC
by on Nov. 27, 2012 at 4:03 PM

So far my little guy has been pretty good in school but these are good tips :-)

Jessica198027
by on Dec. 11, 2012 at 11:15 PM

Done all thee above and he won't talk and just keeps acting out for the sub that they have til full reg teacher comes soon.

Unplugging phone on teach who troed to call me about his behavior and then proceeced to kick and stomp on the teachers foot and try to hit him because he don't like that teacher. He got his but wooped good and had to write about respecting the staff at the school.I mean everything possible is taken away from him what else can I do, the corner is a joke to him and short of making him go to school in his underclothes there is nothing left to take away from him. Any ideas?



lillybug222
by on Dec. 11, 2012 at 11:52 PM
You need to talk to the district about alternative placements when misbehavior occurs. In addition to having his privileges revoked, he should not be allowed to go places either.

Also, it would be a good idea to see a counselor.


Quoting Jessica198027:

Done all thee above and he won't talk and just keeps acting out for the sub that they have til full reg teacher comes soon.

Unplugging phone
on teach who troed to call me about his behavior and then proceeced to
kick and stomp on the teachers foot and try to hit him because he don't
like that teacher. He got his but wooped good and had to write about
respecting the staff at the school.I mean everything possible is taken
away from him what else can I do, the corner is a joke to him and short
of making him go to school in his underclothes there is nothing left to
take away from him. Any ideas?




Posted on CafeMom Mobile
Jessica198027
by on Dec. 12, 2012 at 12:01 AM

He had a counsoler from a group who deals with kids like him and he flat out refuses to talk to her and he sees one at his doc office and don't talk to him about his behavior either. He talks to the guy about what he does that is good and is proud of his good grades but never what is causing the problems with his behavior. If asked about it he says I don't know and shuts down after that, can't get him to talk at all after he shuts down. He does not go anywhere but to school and home. Not to friends, out to eat, to movies or to friends house and friends don't come over either. I had to pull him out of a college prep school that he got accepted to because of good grades because of behavior issues. I dismissed the lady tha twas seeing him because he would just stand there the whole time she was there and say nothing about it at all to her, so saw no point in wasting her time when she could see a child who will work with her.

Quoting lillybug222:

You need to talk to the district about alternative placements when misbehavior occurs. In addition to having his privileges revoked, he should not be allowed to go places either.

Also, it would be a good idea to see a counselor.


Quoting Jessica198027:

Done all thee above and he won't talk and just keeps acting out for the sub that they have til full reg teacher comes soon.

Unplugging phone
on teach who troed to call me about his behavior and then proceeced to
kick and stomp on the teachers foot and try to hit him because he don't
like that teacher. He got his but wooped good and had to write about
respecting the staff at the school.I mean everything possible is taken
away from him what else can I do, the corner is a joke to him and short
of making him go to school in his underclothes there is nothing left to
take away from him. Any ideas?





supermeof3
by on Dec. 12, 2012 at 12:11 PM

These are great tips :)

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