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Parenting Positive Kids Parenting Positive Kids

9 year old boys!

Posted by on Feb. 18, 2013 at 10:44 PM
  • 17 Replies
My 9 year old is struggling in school with his work and friends. I think a lot of it has to do with hellish relationship with his father (who I'm still with). He needs a confidence boost. I try, but doest seem to be working!! Help!!!
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by on Feb. 18, 2013 at 10:44 PM
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Replies (1-10):
Wish2Be
by on Feb. 18, 2013 at 10:47 PM

My niece is going through the same thing...she just turned 10...and her father isnt in the picture (never was) then my sister got married to the father of her second daughter and he isnt in the picture anymore either...so four years ago she got married to a different guy. So she has that and an obese issue to combat.

wish I could help

LOswald0314
by on Feb. 19, 2013 at 1:10 AM

 Have you put him in sports? It can be a great confidence booster and a way to make friends.

mrswillie
by on Feb. 19, 2013 at 9:22 AM

Hugs. Hang in there. Make sure you are complimenting his accomplishments. 9 is such an ackward age.

mrswillie
by on Feb. 19, 2013 at 9:23 AM


Quoting LOswald0314:

 Have you put him in sports? It can be a great confidence booster and a way to make friends.

Great idea!

Leelee1008
by on Feb. 19, 2013 at 10:17 AM

I have a 9 year old boy as well. he and his father butt heads alot too. My so has Severe Ahdh though, and that is why his schooling is not so good. have you tried counciling?

Leelee1008
by on Feb. 19, 2013 at 10:18 AM

Yes sports are a gret idea! My boys play baseball, they love it and it teaches disciplin, and structure... it also is a great way to bond with parents and friends and other adults.

Quoting LOswald0314:

 Have you put him in sports? It can be a great confidence booster and a way to make friends.


ceciliam
by on Feb. 19, 2013 at 10:23 AM

Does your son have any interests?

Roo1234
by on Feb. 19, 2013 at 11:45 AM

You can't magically boost a child's confidence with a few choice words.  Self-esteem is built through action and achievement.   GIve him opporutnities to make real efforts and praise any REAL success he has from those efforts (no matter what the task).  Encourage him to study, help him, work with him and when he does better (even if not perfect) talk about how hard he worked and how those efforts helped him.  Encourage him to focus on something he is really good at such as art, sports, etc.

Our now 10 yo son has been running 5K races for the last two years.  Because of his small stature (he is the size of an average 6 year old), and age grouping (he is usually in the 14 or 18 years and younger category) it is unusual for him to have the chance to "place".  However, early on we played the numbers...we only ever compare his finish time to his previous times, we look at where he ranks overall usually int he top 25 or 30 percent of all finishers.  He can mark his accomplishment and feel a real sense of self-worth about his efforts and achievement without having to bring home the medal.  These accomplishments have carried over to his school life as well.  

I once asked him if the other kids ever picked on him or teased him about his size.  He matter-of-factly said "no."  I then asked him if he had any idea why that was the case.  His response?..."Well, I'm one of the fastest kids in my school, I can do more pull-ups than everyone in my grade and I'm one of the smartest kids in my class whom everyone asks for help when they don't understand something.  Why would they pick on me just because I'm smaller than they are?"


GwenMB
by on Feb. 19, 2013 at 12:41 PM

Tae Kwon Do & Karate are supposed to be good for helping boys with self confidence & discipline issues.

Are  you planning to do anything about your relationship with his father?  Is he the only one who has a hellish relationship with dad, or do you as well?  If you do, too, I would look at what you can do about that (whether its leaving him or getting counseling) as turmoil at home never helps.

.Angelica.
by on Feb. 20, 2013 at 1:40 AM

i'm not sure. here's a bump

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