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Parenting Positive Kids Parenting Positive Kids

I cannot believe my own sister would do this to me

Posted by on Apr. 27, 2013 at 10:27 AM
  • 12 Replies

Let me start at the begining. 

We both grew up very poor. Jumping from home to home or with whoever my mother was dating at the time.

My sister and I have always had a good relationship. She was older than me so when she moved out, got pregnant and had a family, I was still in HS. After I graduated, I spent a lot of time partying and having fun and we never really chatted.

Eventually, I got back in touch with her. Her and baby daddy broke up and I spent a lot of time with her and the kids. Watched them, went out to party.

They have been seperated for about a year when my sister introduced me to her baby daddys brother. Ive met him several time but I was 16 and made no mind of it. But we hit it off instantly. We started seeing each other and my sister seemed to really encourage our relationship.

Well, after a few weeks of dating my sister started to tell me very unfavorable things about him. Ex wife, has a child, bla bla bla. I didnt care. I was hurt he didnt tell me, but I was okay with it. Well she kept doing it. Bringing me out to bars trying to hook me up with other men, whispering in my ear that he was probably going to cheat on me, just saying anything she could to hurt our relationship.

well, I didnt realize it at the time, but she was trying to break us up. I didnt realize it because she was my sister, I loved her. I looked up to her. I thought she was looking out for me. 

I disconnected with him (my bf ) and was distant and we both wondered into others arms. I got pregnant and things changed. 

My bf and I really worked on our relationship, a lot! and we worked it out. 

My sister was very displeased with that. She stopped talking to me, she ignored me. And I was in the dark. I was so torn apart when she just up and left. 

My bf at the time and I got married, going on three years now. So i can call him my hubby. We started chatting about my sister and we connected the dots. My hubby sister started to tell me all the horrible things she was saying about me. Really bad horrible things. Not just when we stopped talking, but years before that!! 

She would tell people I was a whore, I was just like my mom (certainly not a compliment), how I just married my husband for no reason. Just really horrible things. 

Even now, 3 yrs later, she STILL talks crap about me. especially to my hubbys mom. Remmeber, my sisters baby daddy is my hubbys brother. So same mom. 

That made for a very tough family for me to get into and get to accept me. I went thru hell with that family because of the things my sister would say to them. My hubbys mom told him not to marry me!!!

I have gotten over it. I just move on and keep trucking, especially with my children. Things have gotten better with hubbys mom, but I think little bird is tweeting in her ear again. She had absolutley NO ammo. nothing. I dont talk to her. I dont talk about her. 

They dont invite me to do things with the kids. Just two weeks ago, they all (grandma, my sister, her kids) went to Mall of America and didnt ask me to go with. I though she would be over me being in the family, but she keeps on with the punches. 

I cried when she told me she wanted nothing to do with me or the kids (I was pregnant with my 2nd). I was heartbroken.

I still want my sister back. My best friend, but she is so heartless. What do I do?

What would you do?



by on Apr. 27, 2013 at 10:27 AM
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Replies (1-10):
copperswifey
by on Apr. 27, 2013 at 11:48 AM

I'm sorry :(  I would try to sit down and talk to her if she will or write her a letter. You could tell her how much she hurt you in the past, but you would like to move past all that and have a relationship with her. Tell her you would like to have her in your and your kids life. If she doesn't respond then you know you tried and did everything you could to try and heal the relationship. Good luck! I wish you the best and hope it all works out for you.  :)

raschwittay
by on Apr. 28, 2013 at 7:33 PM


Thank you. I will try as see what happens

Quoting copperswifey:

I'm sorry :(  I would try to sit down and talk to her if she will or write her a letter. You could tell her how much she hurt you in the past, but you would like to move past all that and have a relationship with her. Tell her you would like to have her in your and your kids life. If she doesn't respond then you know you tried and did everything you could to try and heal the relationship. Good luck! I wish you the best and hope it all works out for you.  :)



Aishamusty
by on Apr. 29, 2013 at 8:42 AM

Just move on, your kids are all that really matter now, I feel she's just been bitter for no good reason 

Roo1234
by on Apr. 29, 2013 at 2:14 PM

Why would you want someone so destructive in your life?

She set you up to fail and when it ididn't happen the way she manipulated it to happen, she got pissed and ramped it up even more.  

The reality is that the ONLY way she MIGHT be your "sister" again would be if you were to divorce your husband so that she could be there saying "See, I told you so."  

Your husband needs to let him mom and family know that she is up to no good. It may not change anything because she holds the keys to those grandchildren, but it is something to keep in mind. Your husband needs to have your back.

As for the rest of it....just because someone is family, it doesn't mean they are decent and loving.  Fill your life with real friends, be thankful for the solid foundation you are building for your children and look forward

raschwittay
by on Apr. 29, 2013 at 4:11 PM


That is some fantastic advice. Your right, just because she is my sister doenst mean I have to try to work it out. She wants me to fail as she did in her relationship. That makes me work harder on my family. Its the kids though. I love her kids, and she bad mouths me in front of them. And the kids say stuff to grandma. Ill just do my best to continue to prove that I am in this family 100 %

Thank You again.

Quoting Roo1234:

Why would you want someone so destructive in your life?

She set you up to fail and when it ididn't happen the way she manipulated it to happen, she got pissed and ramped it up even more.  

The reality is that the ONLY way she MIGHT be your "sister" again would be if you were to divorce your husband so that she could be there saying "See, I told you so."  

Your husband needs to let him mom and family know that she is up to no good. It may not change anything because she holds the keys to those grandchildren, but it is something to keep in mind. Your husband needs to have your back.

As for the rest of it....just because someone is family, it doesn't mean they are decent and loving.  Fill your life with real friends, be thankful for the solid foundation you are building for your children and look forward



raschwittay
by on Apr. 29, 2013 at 4:12 PM


I tried to chat with her. She was unresponsive. She wanted nothing to do with me. So i wished her the best and moved on

Quoting raschwittay:


Thank you. I will try as see what happens

Quoting copperswifey:

I'm sorry :(  I would try to sit down and talk to her if she will or write her a letter. You could tell her how much she hurt you in the past, but you would like to move past all that and have a relationship with her. Tell her you would like to have her in your and your kids life. If she doesn't respond then you know you tried and did everything you could to try and heal the relationship. Good luck! I wish you the best and hope it all works out for you.  :)





copperswifey
by on May. 3, 2013 at 1:42 PM

 Good for you. It shows you were the bigger person who wanted to try to make things better between the two of you. It's a two way street though, you can't do it all on your own.  I wish there had been a better outcome for you, but it sounds like maybe you are better off not having her in your life. It's sad, but count your blessings and move on.  At least you can move on now with no regrets. Good luck! :)

Quoting raschwittay:

 

I tried to chat with her. She was unresponsive. She wanted nothing to do with me. So i wished her the best and moved on

Quoting raschwittay:

 

Thank you. I will try as see what happens

Quoting copperswifey:

I'm sorry :(  I would try to sit down and talk to her if she will or write her a letter. You could tell her how much she hurt you in the past, but you would like to move past all that and have a relationship with her. Tell her you would like to have her in your and your kids life. If she doesn't respond then you know you tried and did everything you could to try and heal the relationship. Good luck! I wish you the best and hope it all works out for you.  :)

 

 

 

 


 

Wish2Be
by on May. 21, 2013 at 6:26 PM

She doesnt deserve you as a sister...maybe spend more time with your friends. My best friends are like sisters to me ! :)

jessicasmom1
by on May. 21, 2013 at 6:45 PM

Very well said .. your the better and bigger person  in this ordeal ... 

Quoting copperswifey:

 Good for you. It shows you were the bigger person who wanted to try to make things better between the two of you. It's a two way street though, you can't do it all on your own.  I wish there had been a better outcome for you, but it sounds like maybe you are better off not having her in your life. It's sad, but count your blessings and move on.  At least you can move on now with no regrets. Good luck! :)

Quoting raschwittay:


I tried to chat with her. She was unresponsive. She wanted nothing to do with me. So i wished her the best and moved on

Quoting raschwittay:


Thank you. I will try as see what happens

Quoting copperswifey:

I'm sorry :(  I would try to sit down and talk to her if she will or write her a letter. You could tell her how much she hurt you in the past, but you would like to move past all that and have a relationship with her. Tell her you would like to have her in your and your kids life. If she doesn't respond then you know you tried and did everything you could to try and heal the relationship. Good luck! I wish you the best and hope it all works out for you.  :)








.Angelica.
by on May. 21, 2013 at 7:42 PM

i know it's hard, but maybe it's best just to keep your distance. she doesn't sound like someone I would want in my life anyways.

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