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Parenting Positive Kids Parenting Positive Kids

7 year old son is in trouble and I need help

Posted by on Feb. 27, 2014 at 4:01 PM
  • 12 Replies

Ok so he brought home 3 letters this week saying how rude and how he was in other peoples personal space. Which is so unlike him to do that stuff. So his punishment is he is grounded at my house and his dads house, but we also decided he needs to do a presentation on safety and how to not disrespect your teacher. Suggestions on how to do this with him being 7? Thanks all.

by on Feb. 27, 2014 at 4:01 PM
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Replies (1-10):
choco_mom
by Member on Feb. 27, 2014 at 4:10 PM

a presentataion???? to the class, teacher to you?  I'm not sure how go about that for him.  I think your punishment is good enough for this week.  If it continues i would set up a meeting with the teachers and him.

My son had some similar problems and we did that and it made a big difference after that, to have everyone on the same page.

mommyinthe303
by New Member on Feb. 27, 2014 at 4:41 PM
Sorry to the class room.

Quoting choco_mom:

a presentataion???? to the class, teacher to you?  I'm not sure how go about that for him.  I think your punishment is good enough for this week.  If it continues i would set up a meeting with the teachers and him.

My son had some similar problems and we did that and it made a big difference after that, to have everyone on the same page.

momofnatalie
by Bronze Member on Feb. 27, 2014 at 10:32 PM

Is something bothering him?  If he normally doesn't act this way, I would see if something is causing him to act out.  I used to be a school counselor and if something is out of his normal range of behavior I would definitely make an appointment with his teacher and your son to talk about what is going on.  I would probably suggest maybe having him doing community service like helping the teacher with clean up instead of a presentation, because the consequence should be more on making it up to the teacher for his behavior and the time that he took away with her dealing with it, instead of taking up class time to do a presentation, which will probably make him open to teasing from the other kids. 

celestegood
by Bronze Member on Feb. 28, 2014 at 1:00 AM
I would think that something is bothering him. Have you talked to him?
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mommyinthe303
by New Member on Feb. 28, 2014 at 7:50 AM
Yes he says he don't know.

Quoting celestegood: I would think that something is bothering him. Have you talked to him?
celestegood
by Bronze Member on Feb. 28, 2014 at 9:02 AM
Can you try a child psychologist? There are ones who specialize in play therapy and they can help kids work things out.

Quoting mommyinthe303: Yes he says he don't know.

Quoting celestegood: I would think that something is bothering him. Have you talked to him?
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gmadiane
by Bronze Member on Feb. 28, 2014 at 10:49 AM

 I wish you luck

SarahSuzyQ
by Bronze Member on Feb. 28, 2014 at 1:23 PM

Ok, I can tell that my opinion is different than some others here, but I will share it anyway. You can take it or leave it, and I won't be offended at all if you disagree. Sound good?

I would not punish for school behaviors at home... The consequence should fit the crime, at least if it's a new infraction, and it should start at school. What is the teacher doing in response to your son being rude? How is she handling it? What are the circumstances surrounding him getting up in other people's space?

I think it's helpful to sit down and talk about it with him, and maybe the presentation he's doing on what it looks like to be respectful will help him come up with other strategies... I might even focus conversations with him on that. What was person X doing when you got right in their face? What are some other ways you could have communicated with them? Etc. The "why" questions may not be answerable at this age... He may not be thinking it through that far, but he should likely be able to tell you what was happening when these incidences occurred.

And if the consequences the teacher has in place, coupled with the negative reaction from his classmates, isn't enough to keep him in his own space, wouldn't they continue on up the discipline chain at the school? Whether that means losing a few minutes off recess (which is really awful for my 6yo, but it is a method they employ for extreme behavior issues) or meeting with the guidance counselor, etc...

Roo1234
by Member on Mar. 3, 2014 at 11:35 AM

A lot of kids use the default "i don't know" when asked about why they made a choice in action.  

One thing that I have found to be very helpful is to ask them about the event--what they were feeling, what was happening around them, etc.--and then I take a step backwards and ask them what was happening, what they were feeling BEFORE they made a choice that got them in trouble.  We keep working backwards until we both have a better understanding of the situation and then I also have a better idea of what really needs to be addressed.

Quoting mommyinthe303: Yes he says he don't know.
Quoting celestegood: I would think that something is bothering him. Have you talked to him?


Baiju7799
by New Member on Mar. 4, 2014 at 12:30 PM

www.famjia.com is hosting children art contest. Drawing, written, violin, piano... Good place to go!

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