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Parenting Positive Kids Parenting Positive Kids

Help!

Posted by on Jun. 8, 2014 at 8:26 PM
  • 3 Replies

My kids are out of control all the sudden.  I feel like I need super nanny!  My 7yr old acts like she's is an only child that just got a sibling.  She tries to boss my 4 yr old around,  she screams at him,and if he won't listen she hits him.  If she gets in trouble she whines, and Crystal likes it's the end of the world.  She goes from acting like a sassy teenager, to acting like her 2yr old sister.  She is in gymnastics, Girl Scouts and now soccer, she has lots of friends at school and gets asked on play dates.  I have no idea what is wrong with her.  I've tried talking and asking if she feels left out and she says no, I ask if she thinks I spend more time with the little ones and she says no.  I try to spend a little time with just the two of us but it's hard.  She knows right from wrong but seems to have no impulse control. She goes to bed at 830 and will not get up at 7 when I need her to get ready so I can get to work.  She gets the same amount or less sleep on weekends, she just won't get up and moving when I have somewhere to be.

My 4 yr old has a huge temper issue.  He never wants to do things I ask, unless it's on his terms. His big issue is swearing wich he learned a few years ago from dh's family and he stopped for a while but is on a roll with it now.  We tried to ignore it and it didn't work now he just gets an automatic time out, no warnings, if we hear a bad word he goes straight to the chair.  

My 2 yr old has just hit the temper tantrum stage.  

I work full time dh works full time and part time, but when he is home he doesn't help....and the kids know he doesn't help and they act worse when he's around.

the old two get time out, or if they are supposed to clean their rooms and won't, or start acting up at bed time they get toys taken.  Dd has wanted a friend to come overs for the past 2 weeks, I tell her what behavior I expect for the week, and she always blows it.  We have behavior charts we were using for a while but I would forget to do them.  I'm going to get them back out, the kids get a happy face if they do/don't do a certain thing that day.

i need ideas in what they get if they get happy faces for a week.  I can't spend money on them all the time, I feel like it would make them act more spoiled.  We normally do a movie night on Fridays, either a redbox or movie they already have, and have snacks, should I take it away and make them earn it?

by on Jun. 8, 2014 at 8:26 PM
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Replies (1-3):
butzi
by Member on Jun. 10, 2014 at 1:21 PM
Sometimes these behavior things seem to come out of nowhere. Lots of things just resolve on their own with consistent discipline. Honestly, the biggest thing I see that I would work o. Is getting your husband on board. If he won't help, try leaving him to deal with all of it a few times... Like for an entire weekend day so he has a clue of how difficult it is.
MommytoAbigail
by New Member on Jun. 10, 2014 at 9:51 PM

I do, when it's my weekend to work, or I leav them to get groceries the house is a wreck and the kids are doing whatever they want while he plays on his phone! It's awful, I'm really in in alone,  All my daughters activities are done after Sat. And school is out soon so I'm hoping we can just chill and have lots of family time and it will help.

Quoting butzi: Sometimes these behavior things seem to come out of nowhere. Lots of things just resolve on their own with consistent discipline. Honestly, the biggest thing I see that I would work o. Is getting your husband on board. If he won't help, try leaving him to deal with all of it a few times... Like for an entire weekend day so he has a clue of how difficult it is.


butzi
by Member on Jun. 10, 2014 at 10:05 PM
What I mean then I guess is to say out loud to your husband: "Dear I am hurt and frustrated by your lack of participation in this family. It is wrong and unfair. I don't really understand how you can honestly look at your behavior and be comfortable with it. Your children are struggling and the person. That you promised your love and life to is feeling stranded and alone in life. I can't do this alone anymore." If I were you I would write this in a letter give it to him on a Friday on your way out the door. Return on Sunday, if everything is the same... Then maybe you need to seriously reevaluate your situation. I know this seems drastic but sometimes we have to be very clear both with ourselves and our spouses what behaviors we can no longer tolerate.
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