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I need advice

Posted by on Apr. 8, 2009 at 4:26 PM
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Everyone in my family is and or was in some branch of the military.  I wanted to enlist but couldn't because of my daughter.  I got married and worked on my degree.  I have been seriously considering joing the Navy either as reservist or active duty.  I can't get a job in my field with my degree and I think joining would do a lot of good.  I would finally get to serve like I wanted to and I would get to have hands on training.  My husband is a police officer now and said that he won't take care of the kids while I am at basic for 9 weeks.  What would you guys do?  Also how many dependents are you allowed when you elist?

by on Apr. 8, 2009 at 4:26 PM
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caliessence87
by Group Owner on Apr. 8, 2009 at 8:17 PM

First, I wanna say its a gret thing you are considering joining the military.............I honestly thing your biggest support system should come from your husband.......him understanding your wanting to do this for the family, and him being able to come onboard and in the least watch the children during basic training............. I dont know what ur degree in, but im almost sure to the T that coming in as an officer in any branch, you will be proficient in that job even more.......as far as dependents......children as many as you have up to the age of 18......they can still be on deers after 18 if they are a college student....but if they are married at 18, they cannot be on ur deers.......as far as claiming other dependents, it depends on branch and for everything within the system documentation and court papers have to be provided........But f this is REALLY what you want to do, then sit down with ur hubby and try to allow him to see things from your point of view.......if its the case where he does supports you but just doesnt wanna watch the kids during training, then maybe coordinate with another family member.... if its an intimidation issue for your husband, then thats typical male ego....he'll be alright.........ihope this helps.

jsbanister
by on Apr. 9, 2009 at 12:33 PM

I agree that your husband should be your #1 support for joining the military, so is it a matter of him just not wanting to take over all the maternal duties of taking care of the kids or is it more of it will be highly difficult for him to do it because of work?  If it is for the first reason then I think you should try and sit him down for a heart-to-heart about why you want and should join the military.  I had to do the same thing because my husband first thought that I was trying the leave him or start going out on my own ....we've been toegether since we were 15 and married since 18....so I think me being so independent scared the crap out of him at first (and maybe it still does a little) AND he was scared because the longest he's ever been with our son 24/7 without me was for 3 days and he said it was really tough because my son is such a mama's boy (this I have to agree with him on, lol) and he'd be the single parent for awhile but still doing his AD thing.....so yes, our leaving for BCT and AIT will be tough on the hubby's.  But after three arguments, a big fight, and two heart-to-hearts about why I wanted to join and my suggestions for taking care of as many arrangements as needed before I leave to help him out calmed him down a lot.  Now he is supportive either way and really thinks that I am going to do it (though I hope I am not pregnant - we were TTC before I started thinking about joining and went to the recruiter - now we've stopped but there's still that 4-6 wk window before a test will show up positive....we'll see!) and of course is still scared and nervous, but at least he's supportive now.  It may take more than once or twice of really trying to talk to him, I hope it works out for you!  If he still isn't supoortive then that will be a tough decision you'll have to make.....maybe you can talk to extended family about help while being gone. 

 

As for the amount of kids...I think I read on About.com that you can't have more than 2 dependents (including your spouse), BUT there are waivers for everything.  Check About.com (that's where I got A LOT of Army info for me) and it should say.  Or you could talk to the recruiter.  Good luck!

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