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By 9?

Posted by on May. 12, 2011 at 9:50 AM
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Have any of you seen this article?? The list sickens me. While some things appear common sense, like saying please and thank you, other things are simply ridiculous.

I think a lot of these should come with caveats. It is not right for you to not allow a child to express their dislikes. It gives them an opportunity to grow their own personality, while giving the parent the opportunity to say, "Well, try it, you may like it". I know adults who don't abide by these. At 6, my son is rather polite, but he is still 6. He cannot completely conceptualize mannerisms and proper communication yet; it is better than say, when he was 3 though. He still cannot completely internalize his speech; he talks everything out. "Isaiah run!", "I am going to brush my teeth", etc. It isn't until these developments come along that you can really get a handle on these things. Perhaps by nine, but if not, he won't be completely hopeless.

I wonder if the Doctor-Writer has children...


25 Manners Every Kid Should Know By Age 9

Helping your child master these simple rules of etiquette will get him noticed -- for all the right reasons.
By David Lowry, Ph.D.


Your child's rude 'tude isn't always intentional. Sometimes kids just don't realize it's impolite to interrupt, pick their nose, or loudly observe that the lady walking in front of them has a large behind. And in the hustle and bustle of daily life, busy moms and dads don't always have the time to focus on etiquette. But if you reinforce these 25 must-do manners, you'll raise a polite, kind, well-liked child.-

Manner #1

When asking for something, say "Please."

Manner #2


When receiving something, say "Thank you."

Related: Kid-Made Thank You Notes

Manner #3

Do not interrupt grown-ups who are speaking with each other unless there is an emergency. They will notice you and respond when they are finished talking.

Manner #4

If you do need to get somebody's attention right away, the phrase "excuse me" is the most polite way for you to enter the conversation.

Manner #5

When you have any doubt about doing something, ask permission first. It can save you from many hours of grief later.

Manner #6

The world is not interested in what you dislike. Keep negative opinions to yourself, or between you and your friends, and out of earshot of adults.

Manner #7

Do not comment on other people's physical characteristics unless, of course, it's to compliment them, which is always welcome.

Related: Raise Polite Kids

Manner #8

When people ask you how you are, tell them and then ask them how they are.

Manner #9

When you have spent time at your friend's house, remember to thank his or her parents for having you over and for the good time you had.

Manner #10

Knock on closed doors -- and wait to see if there's a response -- before entering.

Manner #11

When you make a phone call, introduce yourself first and then ask if you can speak with the person you are calling.

Manner #12

Be appreciative and say "thank you" for any gift you receive. In the age of e-mail, a handwritten thank-you note can have a powerful effect.

Related: Print and Color Cards for Birthdays, Thank-Yous and More!

Manner #13

Never use foul language in front of adults. Grown-ups already know all those words, and they find them boring and unpleasant.

Manner #14

Don't call people mean names.

Manner #15

Do not make fun of anyone for any reason. Teasing shows others you are weak, and ganging up on someone else is cruel.

Related: Raise a Compassionate Kid

Manner #16

Even if a play or an assembly is boring, sit through it quietly and pretend that you are interested. The performers and presenters are doing their best.

Manner #17

If you bump into somebody, immediately say "Excuse me."

Related: Quiz: What's Your Parenting Style?

Manner #18

Cover your mouth when you cough or sneeze, and don't pick your nose in public.

Related: How to Handle Inappropriate Behavior

Manner #19

As you walk through a door, look to see if you can hold it open for someone else.

Manner #20

If you come across a parent, a teacher, or a neighbor working on something, ask if you can help. If they say "yes," do so -- you may learn something new.

Manner #21

When an adult asks you for a favor, do it without grumbling and with a smile.

Related: Use this Table-Setting Map as a Guide

Manner #22

When someone helps you, say "thank you." That person will likely want to help you again. This is especially true with teachers!

Manner #23

Use eating utensils properly. If you are unsure how to do so, ask your parents to teach you or watch what adults do.

Related: Mrs. McVeigh Weighs in on Proper Utensil Use and More!

Manner #24

Keep a napkin on your lap; use it to wipe your mouth when necessary.

Manner #25

Don't reach for things at the table; ask to have them passed.

See more on teaching manners to your toddlers and preschoolers. 

Originally published in the March 2011 issue of Parents magazine.

by on May. 12, 2011 at 9:50 AM
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Replies (1-3):
leomommy1325
by on May. 12, 2011 at 9:27 PM

Looks good in theory, but nobody's going to have a super polite kid all the time and I don't expect that.  My STB 6 year old daughter still interrupts my conversations sometimes and I just remind her that that's not nice to interrupt grown-ups when they talk.  Sometimes Mommies and Daddies or Grandmas need to talk to each other about something important and then we'll talk about whatever it is that was important enough for you to think you had to interrupt.  I wouldn't force my daughter to put on a happy face and not grumble doing a chore.  Do people really like doing their chores 100% of the time? No.

mom2maryjoseph
by on May. 13, 2011 at 7:45 AM

I think by nine they should understand those.  Most of those my six year old already knows. Is he perfect about them..no.    The one about about not grumbling about a chore is important.   For us it is about teaching our child to understand in the world you have to do things you don't like because you have to take care of your family or simply your boss told you to do it.    He can grumble in his room or he can say simply, Mom I really don't like having to clean my room.  Then I can can tell him that is life and either do it or if I clean it all goes in the garbage.   I dislike the people I work with that have bad attitudes and complain about everything they have to do.  It gets old real quick and just cost two employees the jobs they interviewed for this week.

mommy2xp
by on May. 20, 2011 at 1:23 PM

 My 6 yr old does a lot of those, but not all of them. It's very hard to understand that what they think is an emergency is not always something to interrupt mom or dad for

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