I need help. We have a few short vacations a year as a family, which we enjoy and look forward to. One 4 day vacation, DH spends with his birth family, who happen to not be very nice people. After a few years of this, I learned to stay home, which works.
Now, MIL wants to come on our vacation with us to our beach house. We have worked very hard for this and have scrimped and saved and done comfortably for ourselves. No one has helped us with anything (I feel the need to explain we don't owe anyone). We look forward to OUR time in OUR peaceful place. In addition, since we live so far from my family (500 miles) and MIL lives 5 minutes (or less) from us and hardly ever sees us (!) this whole idea is rubbing us the wrong way. Her rationale is she wants to "say goodbye" to some sick relatives (who happen to have alzeimers and will not know her or know that she is there, especially since she is not their blood relative and they only saw each other at weddings and funerals, but I digress). In addition, we use this time to see our (older than MIL) relatives, and relatives who took sick quite young and unexpectedly. It is OUR time. IIt is once per year and we look forward to our peace. Did I mention there is only one bathroom in this rather old house? MIL has no idea, as her house is 4+BR and 3 BA.
Apparently, MIL has already booked her flight and was (as usual) quite pushy about it. WHAT do I do? I won't be able to hold it together an entire week. We are very different, which would not be a problem, if she were not critical and passive aggressive to the Nth degree. Now our vacation logistics are blown as we have to cart her around. She says she will do lunch with the (alzeimers) relatives one day. Wow, could it be any more trouble, it seems? I forgot to add, DH becomes like his jerk dad when exposed to these people - snapping at the kids and expecting us to basically run without him. He tunes out likes his parents, among other annoying things. He is at his aboslute worst around his family. Please talk me down. I am ready to stay home rather than put me and my kids through another vacation from hell with her. You can't be nice to these types of people, it only exacerbates the situation. Thanks for any help.