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Help need some input on this!!!!!Update in Red

Posted by on Jun. 3, 2010 at 8:00 PM
  • 17 Replies

tengo una pregunta.. I have an issue, better yet, You all know how they say that we women have to have eachother's back..like if we see our men out cheating, we communicate it lol..well..tengo una amiga , who I adore, but SHE"S the one cheating on her man..she didn't tell me but I saw. now I know they have their problems but he' never(that I knwo of ) cheeted on her and he has never laid a hand on her, she sais that he's super romantic and spontanious.. so I comfronted her and she lied! she said that it wasn't her lol..but it wasn't only once Ive seen her a couple of times out w/ this guy and busting a scam..tongue & everything lol.. she then said to not butt in...see thing is he's a really good friend too and i think he deserves to know....Que hago...??..

 

Well I spoke to her...we had a very long talk and she basically said the guy hit on her and she welcomed it and then it grew..??../??so stupid.. But she bassically said she wasn't telling her hubby. I told her if she didn/t I would and she said..get this ladies "that would be better" ... Really?? how is that better?? so I told her I had her all wrong and I really didn't need friends like that and I thaught it was best if we cut ties. and she cried and asked why and left upset.. The next morning I spoke to her hubby w/ my hubby next to me.. and he was sooo devastated But saidI wasn't the first to tell him But I was the only one he'd beleive. he had some drinks w/ hubby and basically moved in w/ my primo and left her....he said he will be getting a divorce and that when he asked her sha said she lied at first and then broke down and admitted it...she tried to talk to me last night but I sooooooo don't need ppl like that in my life so I blocked her # :/

by on Jun. 3, 2010 at 8:00 PM
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Replies (1-10):
ana326
by Ana-Mexicana on Jun. 3, 2010 at 8:11 PM

Ohh girl...

I call it like I see it thats the type of person I am..

If you confronted her about it and she still lied I would of been like well damn it sure did look like you had your tounge down his throat.. I would also express to her that you don't feel comfortable knowing that and being friend with both her and her SO.  If she ain't happy the least she can do is have some morals and tell her man you know what I'm not happy with you and I want to see other people.. not do that behind his back kinda shit...

That's just me tho...

angie582
by Angie-México on Jun. 3, 2010 at 8:22 PM

 

Quoting ana326:

Ohh girl...

I call it like I see it thats the type of person I am..

If you confronted her about it and she still lied I would of been like well damn it sure did look like you had your tounge down his throat.. I would also express to her that you don't feel comfortable knowing that and being friend with both her and her SO.  If she ain't happy the least she can do is have some morals and tell her man you know what I'm not happy with you and I want to see other people.. not do that behind his back kinda shit...

That's just me tho...

 lol, Yup I agree...and I did tell her..not that nice but I let her know she was putting ME in a situation I didn't like.. and I told her he needed to know...I think she wants to have her cake & eat it too.. I think I will tell her if she don't tell him soon I will...PLUS>> I know the guy she's cheating w/...we all went to school together... :/ ...and He knows she's married this is just NUTS!

ana326
by Ana-Mexicana on Jun. 3, 2010 at 8:26 PM

yeah girl thats the best thing to do cause sabes que later on it will come down on you if her man finds out and he finds out you knew the whole time...

It's putting you in an odd predicament..

angie582
by Angie-México on Jun. 3, 2010 at 8:33 PM

 

Quoting ana326:

yeah girl thats the best thing to do cause sabes que later on it will come down on you if her man finds out and he finds out you knew the whole time...

It's putting you in an odd predicament..

 so true! ad I know he will be more hurt w/ the fact that I knew and didn't tell him...He's such a sweet guy..I don't know WTH she's thinking...this guy she's cheating w/ is an Uggo and my home boy (her man ) is a hottie lol

Supervane
by Vane on Jun. 3, 2010 at 8:41 PM

I was in a similar situation... it turned ugly and she isnt my friend anymore. She cheated on him 1st and never told me I suspected it but I never wanted to confront her because I was in denial! I mean this girl is hardcore Christian, loving, good mom, and an AWESOME FRIEND! Well she cheated on him - came clean and repented, then he felt entitled to cheat on her and did... but... he fell in love with the girl he was seeing and tried to leave my friend. Well my friend is pregnant rigth now with her husband's baby (or so she says) and they are suposedly working it out... Well I saw him 2 months ago when I was partying with my DH and my friends. He was with the girl he is having an affair with. I thought about telling her but I decided to stay out of it. Well now she wont talk to me because I didnt tell her... So I lost her friendship and trust not to mention the nasty things she said about me here in our local CM group. I tried to stay out of her marriage and I lost her friendship. I was afraid that if I told her she would accuse me of lying... It was a loose loose situation.

The best advice I can give you is to encourage her to make up her mind... This way you don't look like a cover up and don't look like an intruder in her marriage.

angie582
by Angie-México on Jun. 3, 2010 at 9:07 PM

 

Quoting Supervane:

I was in a similar situation... it turned ugly and she isnt my friend anymore. She cheated on him 1st and never told me I suspected it but I never wanted to confront her because I was in denial! I mean this girl is hardcore Christian, loving, good mom, and an AWESOME FRIEND! Well she cheated on him - came clean and repented, then he felt entitled to cheat on her and did... but... he fell in love with the girl he was seeing and tried to leave my friend. Well my friend is pregnant rigth now with her husband's baby (or so she says) and they are suposedly working it out... Well I saw him 2 months ago when I was partying with my DH and my friends. He was with the girl he is having an affair with. I thought about telling her but I decided to stay out of it. Well now she wont talk to me because I didnt tell her... So I lost her friendship and trust not to mention the nasty things she said about me here in our local CM group. I tried to stay out of her marriage and I lost her friendship. I was afraid that if I told her she would accuse me of lying... It was a loose loose situation.

The best advice I can give you is to encourage her to make up her mind... This way you don't look like a cover up and don't look like an intruder in her marriage.

 :( sorry you had o go through that.. and yeah I figure I need to have a talk w/ her today, I invited her over to talk...although I don't really mind being an intruder lol..but I do think she needs to come clean w/ him. If not I talked to my hubby and he said he'd be there w/ me if I had to tell him myself. I just feel bad for him..Thank god there's no children involved.

PRMommy86
by on Jun. 3, 2010 at 9:14 PM

I completely agree. It sucks to be in this kind of situation, but it's only fair IMO

Quoting ana326:

Ohh girl...

I call it like I see it thats the type of person I am..

If you confronted her about it and she still lied I would of been like well damn it sure did look like you had your tounge down his throat.. I would also express to her that you don't feel comfortable knowing that and being friend with both her and her SO.  If she ain't happy the least she can do is have some morals and tell her man you know what I'm not happy with you and I want to see other people.. not do that behind his back kinda shit...

That's just me tho...


Habichuela
by on Jun. 3, 2010 at 9:20 PM

wat a mess .. my goodness.. smh .. Cut that chik off ! shes got no morals and is not the kinda person you need in your life.. tell her man to get an STD test 

does this chik not know that Mono is out there and other germs just from kissing alone and if she comes home kissing up on her husband and any kids shes hugging up on they can get it too..

I would tell the husband the truth .. and then you need to cut him off too.. you dont need to be involved anymore than you are now.. dont be anyones supportive friend that is wat a Marriage Therapist is for ! because the negative energies and gossip about it can weigh you down

angie582
by Angie-México on Jun. 3, 2010 at 10:43 PM

 

Quoting Habichuela:

wat a mess .. my goodness.. smh .. Cut that chik off ! shes got no morals and is not the kinda person you need in your life.. tell her man to get an STD test 

 yes, a cut off is in order lol, IDK bout her hubby...he's BFF w/ mine and he's been my friend since high school..thing is I sooo didn't expect this from her. I thought I had her figured out but I was sooooo wrong.... well she's coming over in a few mins..I'll keep yall posted :/

Cafe Veronica
by Veronica-Puerto Rico on Jun. 4, 2010 at 9:36 AM


Quoting angie582:

 

Quoting Habichuela:

wat a mess .. my goodness.. smh .. Cut that chik off ! shes got no morals and is not the kinda person you need in your life.. tell her man to get an STD test 

 yes, a cut off is in order lol, IDK bout her hubby...he's BFF w/ mine and he's been my friend since high school..thing is I sooo didn't expect this from her. I thought I had her figured out but I was sooooo wrong.... well she's coming over in a few mins..I'll keep yall posted :/

Something like this happened to me too.

I had this really close friend and she admitted to me that she was cheating on her boyfriend. I was in shock because he was really good to her. I asked her what she was planning to do and she said she wanted to stay with her boyfriend because she knows he's a good man and that he would never cheat on her, but that she wanted to stay with the other guy too. Yep, smh. I told her that she shouldn't do that, her bf is a good man and she shouldn't do that to him. Plus, her bf always told her that if she ever wanted to leave him, to just do it instead of going around his back and cheating on him. I became very distant towards her. She even wanted me to lie to her bf whenever she went out with the other guy. I refused, I wasn't going to be part of her little game.

Her bf found out a week later, she had a pic of the guy on her mirror, she told him she was trying out her new Polaroid camera. Yea right! LOL!

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