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Have these worked for you? (CIO)

Posted by on Aug. 17, 2011 at 12:30 PM
  • 16 Replies

How to Survive Crying It Out

Posted by Linda Sharps
on August 17, 2011 at 11:20 AM

Ibaby sleeping with ear plugs don't remember when it was, exactly, that I decided I really needed to buckle down and try to do something about my youngest son's inability to sleep through the night. I think it was maybe around the time he was a year old, after enduring all the wee-hour wakeup calls I thought I could possibly bear. My first son slept like a champion from eight weeks on, so I had no experience with babies who woke up every few hours, apparently just to drive me clinically insane.

I do remember, however, how insanely difficult it was to do the Cry It Out method.

The point where I realized things had to change was when Dylan was waking up an average of three to four times per night. It wasn't just that it was annoying or tiring, the real problem was that it had started making me angry and resentful. Each night when he would first start complaining, I'd like there for a few minutes just feeling this overwhelming sensation of GODDAMN IT TO HELL, KID, before trudging in his room and making helpless, irritable shh! shh! shh! sounds at him. Once I picked him up and we were settled in the rocking chair, I found myself calming down almost immediately, and the ritual of rocking him back to sleep — his body burrowed against mine — was soothing and pleasurable, but I most definitely didn't want to go through the entire cycle at 11 p.m., 2 a.m., and 5 a.m., you know?

I tried all sorts of different sleep-training tricks, but nothing worked. So I came to the conclusion I'd have to let him cry it out.


It was ... well. It was difficult, let's say that. I couldn't even really stick to my guns most of the time because of the horrible process that went like this: 1) Child would wake up and start fussing, 2) the crying would fill me with chemical dread and I'd lie there sweating, heart pounding through my chest, staring up at the ceiling, 3) after some interminable amount of time I'd start worrying he was going to wake up my toddler and then I'd have two wailing kids to deal with, and 4) I’M SO TIRED AND MISERABLE OH SWEET JESUS SOMEONE JUST KILL ME NOW. Etc.


I can't say if it was my inconsistent attempts at CIO that actually helped him start sleeping more, or if it simply took time. (Truthfully, he didn't start reliably making it through the night until he turned 3.) Still, I think it was the right thing for us to do at the time, because as hellish as it was, at least I was actively trying to do something. Going in there and robotically plugging a bottle in his snout each night certainly wasn't getting me anywhere.


If you're thinking of crying it out, you have my utmost sympathies. It's not a pleasant process, and there are plenty of people who do not live in your house and have no idea what your life is like who will say super-shitty things about you for making that choice. Here's hoping it works, and here are a couple ideas for how to make it slightly less terrible:


Get some earplugs. When I confessed to buying earplugs, people were downright horrified, as if the plugs actually eliminated all noise whatsoever. Ha ha ha ha WRONG. We live in a small ranch house with wood floors and the kids' rooms are right next to ours, so believe me when I say earplugs do nothing more than add a layer of muffling. Somehow, though, that layer made it a little less awful, and I could at least monitor his sounds without feeling as though I were held prisoner by them.


Try some white noise on your iPod. When we were in the midst of this, I listened to soothing ocean waves, zen chanting, and various weird electronic non-identifiable-noise apps. Anything to help me cling, hair on end, to my bed for a little while longer while I hoped my child would learn to self-soothe himself back to sleep.


Unisom. For you, not for the baby. Just saying.


Did you have to sleep train your child? How did it go?

by on Aug. 17, 2011 at 12:30 PM
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Replies (1-10):
HeartCharmMama
by Ing-Pura Latina on Aug. 17, 2011 at 12:32 PM

And I have to confess...I haven't let him CIO more than a few minutes. He still comes to bed with us at 3am if he wants to nurse and he's 14 months. I know--I'm going to hear it (*ahem*, Lulu, Kim, Kari). LOL

marlene992
by Marlene-Cubantina on Aug. 17, 2011 at 12:39 PM

I Thank God my DD was sleep trained she never gave me a problem on going to sleep .. She does now but I just let her scream for a good 10mins then she falls asleep.

LMJ1
by Lluvia-Mexicana on Aug. 17, 2011 at 12:45 PM
I did CIO when Emma was 6 months old. A lot of moms think it's cruel.

It's ok to let ur baby cry for a little bit.

The first day, I did CIO, she cried for about 40 mins before I ran in there to comfort her. Then I left and the crying started again for another 10 mins. It was hard. My husband didn't want to let me go in and comfort her.

The second night, she cried for 30 mins. The third night, same time. By the 6th day she went to bed without a fuss. Shes almost two and goes to bed at 7:45-8 pm.

Now, sleeping through the night is tricky. Mine didn't sleep through the night till she was 8 months old. At 6 months dr told to stop feeding her at night. So I started training her. If she woke up, I'd give her the pacifier and mostly she would go back to sleep.
But if she kept crying, even with the pacifier, I'd feed her. It lasted for about two months. On her 8th month she began sleeping from 7-7. It's hard because you don't want to NOT feed your baby.

But I began increasing meals during the day and put her to bed at 8 instead of 7, so she wouldn't be without food for too long.

Every baby is different. Mine does very well with schedules.

Here is the funny part, Emma began climbing out of the crib at 15 months, so I switched her to a very low full size bed. She is doing great in it, but she wakes up in the middle of the night and wants to crawl in with us!

Because hubs travels so much, I just decided to let her sleep with me.

So yeah, at 17 months we began co sleeping!!! She goes to bed on her own and all, but if I'm not there if she wakes up in the middle of the night she starts screaming. I guess we went on reverse on this one. I'm just nervous about her sleeping on her own when we r alone.
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karma729
by Karina-D.R. on Aug. 17, 2011 at 12:46 PM

me llamabas lol!!!!! 14 months aha!  no voy a decir nada ....

Quoting HeartCharmMama:

And I have to confess...I haven't let him CIO more than a few minutes. He still comes to bed with us at 3am if he wants to nurse and he's 14 months. I know--I'm going to hear it (*ahem*, Lulu, Kim, Kari). LOL


LuLu5J
by Lourdes-PR on Aug. 17, 2011 at 12:46 PM

Lol!  IMO the quicker they learn to CIO/Self-soothe the better it is for them and the parents.  Kids are very quick learners and if parents come running every time they make noise, the kids are going to learn quick that they can do almost anything and will even think of it as a game.  And, the parents won't learn how to tell when there's really something wrong with the baby.   It also helps them to be more independent in the long run, and not ñoños, lol!!  Luv u Ingrid!!! =*  muah!!

Quoting HeartCharmMama:

And I have to confess...I haven't let him CIO more than a few minutes. He still comes to bed with us at 3am if he wants to nurse and he's 14 months. I know--I'm going to hear it (*ahem*, Lulu, Kim, Kari). LOL


kgmmw
by Kimberly-US/Mex on Aug. 17, 2011 at 12:47 PM
Yo tampoco voy a decir nada

Quoting karma729:

me llamabas lol!!!!! 14 months aha!  no voy a decir nada ....

Quoting HeartCharmMama:

And I have to confess...I haven't let him CIO more than a few minutes. He still comes to bed with us at 3am if he wants to nurse and he's 14 months. I know--I'm going to hear it (*ahem*, Lulu, Kim, Kari). LOL


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kgmmw
by Kimberly-US/Mex on Aug. 17, 2011 at 12:47 PM
CIO worked for all three of my kids
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LuLu5J
by Lourdes-PR on Aug. 17, 2011 at 12:56 PM

My kids co-slept with us until they were about 18 months because of breast feeding.  And then I moved them to their cribs and did CIO/Self-soothing (3xs, lol).  Now they are 10, 8 and 6 and they come down and sleep with me all the time.  Eliseo travels so it's not that bad.  Sometimes, they also come down when Eliseo's home.  But I make sure to make it clear when they can and can't sleep with me/us.

They ask me and most times I say sure, but there are times when I tell them I would rather sleep alone or me and daddy want to sleep alone.  And they learned to respect it.  Although, when they're half asleep at 2 AM and come down, they might just get in the bed anyway.

Just make sure she knows when she can and can't sleep in your bed and it'll be fine.

Quoting LMJ1:

I did CIO when Emma was 6 months old. A lot of moms think it's cruel.

It's ok to let ur baby cry for a little bit.

The first day, I did CIO, she cried for about 40 mins before I ran in there to comfort her. Then I left and the crying started again for another 10 mins. It was hard. My husband didn't want to let me go in and comfort her.

The second night, she cried for 30 mins. The third night, same time. By the 6th day she went to bed without a fuss. Shes almost two and goes to bed at 7:45-8 pm.

Now, sleeping through the night is tricky. Mine didn't sleep through the night till she was 8 months old. At 6 months dr told to stop feeding her at night. So I started training her. If she woke up, I'd give her the pacifier and mostly she would go back to sleep.
But if she kept crying, even with the pacifier, I'd feed her. It lasted for about two months. On her 8th month she began sleeping from 7-7. It's hard because you don't want to NOT feed your baby.

But I began increasing meals during the day and put her to bed at 8 instead of 7, so she wouldn't be without food for too long.

Every baby is different. Mine does very well with schedules.

Here is the funny part, Emma began climbing out of the crib at 15 months, so I switched her to a very low full size bed. She is doing great in it, but she wakes up in the middle of the night and wants to crawl in with us!

Because hubs travels so much, I just decided to let her sleep with me.

So yeah, at 17 months we began co sleeping!!! She goes to bed on her own and all, but if I'm not there if she wakes up in the middle of the night she starts screaming. I guess we went on reverse on this one. I'm just nervous about her sleeping on her own when we r alone.


HeartCharmMama
by Ing-Pura Latina on Aug. 17, 2011 at 12:58 PM

And you know what ladies, I totally love the idea to let them CIO. It's great until he gives me those huge eyes with even bigger tears then he has me. I must fight it, I know!!

kgmmw
by Kimberly-US/Mex on Aug. 17, 2011 at 1:11 PM

You really want my opinion????? 

Quoting HeartCharmMama:

And you know what ladies, I totally love the idea to let them CIO. It's great until he gives me those huge eyes with even bigger tears then he has me. I must fight it, I know!!


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