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Help how to raise racially tolerant children?

Posted by on Dec. 3, 2011 at 10:11 PM
  • 11 Replies
We live in an area where there are few minorities. Hispanics are far and few between and African Americans even harder to find. We have made an effort to have daughter toys be diverse, one of her favorites is her princess tiana baby doll.

That being said lately she has been pointing out that people have " different skin than you and me mommy". Her father and I are mortified by these comments we don't want to raise a racist child! When she says things like this I immediately tell her that god makes everyone different just like mommy has brown eyes an she has blue eyes our differences make us special.

I know exposure is key to tolerance but all the kids in her school are white and that I know there aren't many African Americans in my area?? What would you do?
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by on Dec. 3, 2011 at 10:11 PM
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Replies (1-10):
HeartCharmMama
by Ing-Pura Latina on Dec. 3, 2011 at 10:17 PM
I think you are doing fine. She is obviously curious and probably young enough where she'll ask whenever the curiosity hits her. I personally don't think you and DH have to drastically go out of your way and your area to embrace diversity. If she says something that sounds questionable, just correct her that very moment.

Anyway, she will be okay but that's JMO.
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KPNJ2009
by Member on Dec. 3, 2011 at 10:29 PM
My concern is that she isn't asking " mommy why do they look different?" rather blatantly saying " they have different skin"..perhaps in a not so pleasant way I don't know where she is picking this up from in our house we don't go around saying " oh look it's the black comedian on tv"..lol. Kidding aside it's rather embarrassing because she has said it loud when she sees a dark skinned person If we are at the mall...
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lizbeth05
by Evelin-Colima,Mex on Dec. 3, 2011 at 10:37 PM
Just keep remimding her,my dd use to be like that but she has changed since.one time she wouldnt seat because there was a different person next to her.
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Laynbackmom
by Marisol-La Boricua on Dec. 3, 2011 at 11:18 PM

Sorry never had this problem....probably because I had my daughter around, blacks, spanish, whites, chineses, and any race you could think of. It's only natural for your daughter to be curious like this. At this age they wanta know everything...information is key to grow!!!

KPNJ2009
by Member on Dec. 3, 2011 at 11:30 PM
Its not that I don't want her around blacks I just cant snap my fingers and make minorities appear...lol
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HeartCharmMama
by Ing-Pura Latina on Dec. 3, 2011 at 11:39 PM
Oh I can imagine the embarrassment. Kids are very brutally honest people and we have to keep reminding them not to say everything out loud. She is an observant person and eager to point out differences, that's all. I still think it's normal.

Quoting KPNJ2009:

My concern is that she isn't asking " mommy why do they look different?" rather blatantly saying " they have different skin"..perhaps in a not so pleasant way I don't know where she is picking this up from in our house we don't go around saying " oh look it's the black comedian on tv"..lol. Kidding aside it's rather embarrassing because she has said it loud when she sees a dark skinned person If we are at the mall...
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karladiego
by Karla on Dec. 4, 2011 at 10:28 PM
1 mom liked this

One thing tha you have to remember is a kid's honesty to say things and then their curiosity. Nothing wrong with her noticing different skin colors, that actually opens the door for you to explain that all people are not the same physically, that there are many skin colors, shape of eyes and eye/hair colors. I have told this story before but my son's school was predominantly white and in his grade including him there were only 3 kids of hispanic origin and one of his friends told me he knew I was my DS's mom because we were the only ones with dark skin...this kid's mom was so embarrased but I was ok because he just pointed out the obvious. Not only exposure but the way you're raising her are key for tolerance but if you want to broaden her horizons i would say get books about different people (appearance)

KPNJ2009
by Member on Dec. 5, 2011 at 12:52 AM
We borrow books with diverse characters so she sees that in books. I explain to her that god makes everyone different..The strange thing is that my fathers girlfriend is puerto rican so for family get togethers some are caramel colored and she never has pointed out the difference it's only with really dark people.?? I guess to her it's more obvious?

Quoting karladiego:

One thing tha you have to remember is a kid's honesty to say things and then their curiosity. Nothing wrong with her noticing different skin colors, that actually opens the door for you to explain that all people are not the same physically, that there are many skin colors, shape of eyes and eye/hair colors. I have told this story before but my son's school was predominantly white and in his grade including him there were only 3 kids of hispanic origin and one of his friends told me he knew I was my DS's mom because we were the only ones with dark skin...this kid's mom was so embarrased but I was ok because he just pointed out the obvious. Not only exposure but the way you're raising her are key for tolerance but if you want to broaden her horizons i would say get books about different people (appearance)



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karladiego
by Karla on Dec. 5, 2011 at 8:28 PM


Quoting KPNJ2009:

We borrow books with diverse characters so she sees that in books. I explain to her that god makes everyone different..The strange thing is that my fathers girlfriend is puerto rican so for family get togethers some are caramel colored and she never has pointed out the difference it's only with really dark people.?? I guess to her it's more obvious?

Quoting karladiego:

One thing tha you have to remember is a kid's honesty to say things and then their curiosity. Nothing wrong with her noticing different skin colors, that actually opens the door for you to explain that all people are not the same physically, that there are many skin colors, shape of eyes and eye/hair colors. I have told this story before but my son's school was predominantly white and in his grade including him there were only 3 kids of hispanic origin and one of his friends told me he knew I was my DS's mom because we were the only ones with dark skin...this kid's mom was so embarrased but I was ok because he just pointed out the obvious. Not only exposure but the way you're raising her are key for tolerance but if you want to broaden her horizons i would say get books about different people (appearance)




Maybe because they're family and she's used to the color lol, I can definitely assure you that your kid is not and will not be racist so don't worry too much, as for her voicing her opinions or pointing maybe that will be something that should be adressed, some people could be not that gracious about situation like that.

KPNJ2009
by Member on Dec. 5, 2011 at 9:14 PM
I am hoping she will learn to be more tactful.. She is only 4 so keeping fingers crossed..lol
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