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MAMAS LATINAS MAMAS LATINAS

Great advice!!! Just stop saturating me with it!!

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Hi! So I'm Peruvian.. just gave birth to my first baby about a month ago & i'm going insane. I live with my parents & sister (who has 3 kids) and of course EVERYONE wants to tell me what to do with my son. Whether it's the way i burp him, or feed him, put him to sleep, what he wears.. I mean it's everything!! They always have something to say & a way to "nicely" tell me i'm messing up. As if 3 people weren't enough, my mom babysits my brother's baby so when he drops off & picks up my nephew i hear crap from him too! Now, i always criticised my sister for saying "my kids-my problem" rudely to my parents because yess.. yess.. they just wanna help, but now that it's my turn & feel this immense urge to be even more rude. Any tips on handling this so that they understand & back off without causing WW3? Thanksss

by on Apr. 14, 2012 at 7:16 AM
Replies (21-30):
DAHLONEGAMOMMY
by on Apr. 17, 2012 at 8:30 AM

People are going to do this regardless of where you are. People at work, social gatherings, family get togethers or standing in line at the grocery store. Everyone has an opinion. The best advice I can give you is to let it roll right off your back. They mean well and no one is obligating you to follow their guidance. However, disputing or getting offended will only serve to make everyone uncomfortable. Believe it or not, we have all been through it and it seems to be just a part of the natural procession of raising children. It wont be long before you will find yourself falling victim to the unsolicited advice yourself. If you let it get to you, you are just going to frustrate yourself. The best advice is to just say, "Thank you for pointing that out." and move right on doing it your way. The person was heard and acknowledged and you get a quick out  without having to have any conflict. 

momma_814
by Zayra-Mexicana on Apr. 17, 2012 at 8:36 AM
You got some great advice from the girls already so I'm just hear for support. Hope things work out.
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twogirl91
by on Apr. 17, 2012 at 8:40 AM

I would die if I had to live with my parents. I lived with them 2 months after my son was born while my husband was in bootcamp and I was able to handle it that long, but by the end I was so ready to get out. Now we live states away so if I want advice I call and ask.

emmy526
by on Apr. 17, 2012 at 8:55 AM

MOVE OUT and establish your OWN family...

tansyflower
by on Apr. 17, 2012 at 8:56 AM
1 mom liked this

lol my family is armenian and....well to put it nicely i think we both know that telling our parents to "mind their own business" is never going to work!  it a cultural thing :)

that being said the best advise i can give is to let it slide off your back.  find a pair of invisible ear plugs and just ignore them.  smile and nod then do whatever the heck you want to do!  its much easier to kill them with kindness then it will ever be to "fight back"....even if thats what you REALLY want to do!


charity62
by on Apr. 17, 2012 at 9:21 AM

please only give your advices when i ask for it please  i am his mom and i will raise him my way thank you

winterbaby10
by on Apr. 17, 2012 at 9:23 AM

If you can get yor own place that would be better for you. You'd still get advice but it wouldn't be all the time. If you can't move then tell them nicely that  it's your child and your the mother so you have final say....Hope things get better for you...

hugs

Muslimah4ever
by on Apr. 17, 2012 at 9:45 AM

 I know how you feel, when I first had my son everyone wanted to bombard me with their opinions and it made me feel as if they thought I wasn't taking care of him properly. Even though I was doing exactly what my doctor told me to do and how the NICU nurses took care of him when he was there for 3 weeks. At that time I was still going through all those hormones and I was either in tears or in anger. Just do what you think is best for your child!

krise
by Christine-Arizona on Apr. 17, 2012 at 9:58 AM
Oh man. I did live with my parents 10 months after I had my first. It was bad with the none stop "advice" to the point she pretty most told me I needed to have another baby afterwards, just to get it over with and her reasons behind it. Even when we moved out. Image very vocal person. In the end I had tell both my parents to back off. I cursed and told them this is my child I will do react and say what happens to my child. I had the last word. It didn't matter what they felt was right or wrong. It was pretty heated and I got a lot of tention for it but they went with it. Sorry Hon. I hope it works out for you.
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redneckmama2
by on Apr. 17, 2012 at 10:08 AM

I would just say in a nice voice "thank you for your advice. I will keep it in mind for the next time around"

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