5 Ways Moms Go Overboard While Dads Play it Cool
Whether it's birthdays, a lost tooth or report cards, you prepare and celebrate like it's a royal wedding reception! Us guys, on the other hand, well, fine. We probably downplay it just a tad. Sure, you probably think we're a sloppy bunch of lazy underachievers, but in reality we want our kids to learn that life is cruel and harsh. They don't need a trophy just for making in the potty. Throwing them a parade for getting an A on a report is just going to shoot their ego to the stratosphere.
Think I'm being a bit melodramatic here? Okay, let's break things down:
Mom's Plan: Spend 27 hours stressing over a complicated Fozzie Bear cake that includes 8 cans of frosting, 6 bottles of food coloring, 3 boxes of Duncan Hines cake mix, and a bag of Kit-Kats, all while her hand is cramping up from decorating Fozzie, making dinner, helping the kids with their homework, and keeping them out of the kitchen.
Dad's Plan: A box of Twinkies and one well-placed candle.
The Tooth Fairy
Mom's Plan: Once little Ryan's asleep, sprinkle "fairy dust" (i.e. glitter) by the windowsill, trailing off to his bed, as well as spending three hours writing a personal poem that's then tucked in an envelope with $10 and gently placed under his pillow.
Dad's Plan: A firm handshake with the kid. "You lost a tooth? Good job."
Mom's Plan: Reward Jason with McDonald's for dinner, and a brand-new Wii game for having such a great report card. Stick the report card on the fridge and comment on it every hour, as well as call every known living relative to let them know what a genius your boy has become.
Dad's Plan: Buy the kid a calculator so he can improve his math grades.
Mom's Plan: Take some sewing courses, then spend $47 on yellow material, $10 on Styrofoam balls, $9 on stuffing, $40 on brown boots and then start working on the world's craziest Sponge Bob costume, staying up until 3 a.m. for six weeks in a row to get the costume just right, so it'll look perfect and grow with your child. Then on to your second child's costume...
Dad's Plan: Cut a hole in an old white sheet. Boo.
Mom's Plan: For each child's teachers, buy up a slew of Macy's Gift Cards and insert into a custom mug that displays a photo of the child and the teacher, listing the wonderful lessons learned this year. Each mug will contain each individual teacher's favorite candy, and then gently placed in a box that's wrapped with wrapping paper made up of photos of your child studying.
Dad's Plan: Teachers get gifts?
Do you tend to go overboard with your kids accomplishments? Or do you downplay them?