Ughhh!!!! I'm so angry here I go again!!
My DD is not my SO biological child.. he was introduced to her at age 3 she is now 5. I am pregnant with his first due in november.
The issue: I find myself constantly having to "talk" to my SO when it comes to how he talks to my DD. Yes.. he plays with her and buys her things.. yes she smiles and giggles with him, she calls him dad (since her bio father has never been in the picture). But for example, yesturday my DD dropped a putty knife on her toe and got a cut that was approx. 1" in length but not deep at all. Something that just required a quick soup and water wash off followed by a bandaid... well my parents and aunt keep nagging me to take her to the ER bc the knife was rusty and very dirty. So to please them and my DD who wanted to go as well.. I took her. My SO got there just in time to drive us.. as he looked back to check out the cut I said "becareful it hurts her" and he replied very loudly "I KNOW IT HURTS! I didn't realize it was you who got cut!" and proceeded to tell my DD "WHY ARE YOU CRYING!!?? stop crying! it's just a little cut! your not dying!"
I flipped out!! Everytime she hurts herself he yells at her to stop crying. I understand that he has to be the one who is the tougher of the two parents and all but there is never a form of comfort for her when she truly needs it. She scared and hurt..the least he could do is tell her the same thing but in a comforting way!
To make things worse... he is a MARINE!! I see how he is with his family and their kids.. and everytime the 2 year old falls he babys her!! or the 4 year old!! Why can't he baby my DD!!!!!! He's more of a drill instructor to my child and my brother approves of it! My brother is also military and has no kids...
I get mad at my SO and tell him that when his first BIOLOGICAL child comes along things are going to be so different. I know it in my heart that he will be more attentive and not so harsh on him/her.
He says he will be the same. But I don't think he understands. yea hes dad to my DD but he has never been a father.
I am so damn frustrated with him!! Its killing our relationship!!!
When I talk to him about it he changes abit with her.. but after a fewdays he goes back to his old self..and I have to keep bitching.
He says his dad was that hard with him and that is why he is the man he is and why he pushed himself so hard to be where he is at in life. And I understand that but I HATE his parenting "skills". We clash when it comes to decision making for my DD.
Ughhh... horrible day!