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MAMAS LATINAS MAMAS LATINAS

Como le cambio de idea a mi marido? Opinions,advice needed.

Posted by on Jun. 23, 2012 at 7:58 AM
  • 11 Replies

  We have not been able to "meet in the middle".I was hoping you guys could    help me ?! Here goes :

  Bryce(8 yr old) has Vitiligo. It basically just shows up in patches of lighter/darker skin on random body parts. The pedi has him on a prescribed steroid cream that helps stopping it from "growing". Since,until now the spots Bryce had were in places covered by clothes it was decided to let well enough alone. In other words,no laser treatment to remove them...etc. (Nothing invasive)

  Until about 2/3 weeks ago I noticed one of these spots across the bridge of his nose! If this spot does what all the other ones have...it will get big and VERY white. Other kids in his class have started to notice;there has been some mild teasing. But,I know that if this spot gets bigger and paler people will be saying stuff to him. I really don't want Bryce to be picked on....his pedi agrees with me. We should have this spot removed,even the dermatologist agrees. He said these spots rarely come out in the same spot once they are removed.My hubby says it will "build character" for him to be teased. He also says he doesn't see how having some big,white blotches on his face should affect him.WTH?

 What do you think? Should we remove the Vitiligo spot now? Should we wait until it becomes a bigger issue? (We are only really worried about the one on his face...this is the one that could cause a lot of teasing)

 Thanks for your opinions and/or advice. 


  Eta: Bryce does not like these spots.  He doesn't want what he calls his "snake bites" on his face...he said they'll make him feel stupid. (Direct quote from 8 yr old)

by on Jun. 23, 2012 at 7:58 AM
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Replies (1-10):
brandyblx
by Member on Jun. 23, 2012 at 8:36 AM

BUMP!

karladiego
by Karla on Jun. 23, 2012 at 9:24 AM
I agree with you, if it is getting too noticeable it needs to be taken care of, I'd understand if it was an adult dealing with this but a kid needs support and anything that changes your appearance will get you some teasing, kids can be cruel. As far as your husband, all I can say is get a counselor's opinion on how the teasing could affect your kid and present that to him. To build character doesn't mean exposing the kid to taunts or cruelty, building character means allowing your kid grow, make his own decisions and learning from the outcomes of those choices.
ana326
by Ana-Mexicana on Jun. 23, 2012 at 12:44 PM
This exactly

Quoting karladiego:

I agree with you, if it is getting too noticeable it needs to be taken care of, I'd understand if it was an adult dealing with this but a kid needs support and anything that changes your appearance will get you some teasing, kids can be cruel. As far as your husband, all I can say is get a counselor's opinion on how the teasing could affect your kid and present that to him. To build character doesn't mean exposing the kid to taunts or cruelty, building character means allowing your kid grow, make his own decisions and learning from the outcomes of those choices.
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sophiesmom07
by on Jun. 23, 2012 at 12:52 PM
2 moms liked this

I wouldn't even think twice about it. I'd  have them removed.  Easy for your husband to say, it's not him with the spots on his face in grade school! 

twobells
by Orfelinda on Jun. 23, 2012 at 12:59 PM
1 mom liked this

Well if there is a procedure to remove it that is great. I always say if there is stuff out there to help us along the way then why not use it. I also can kind of see you husband's point in a way. Maybe he is scared of the procedure and does not want to tell you. So he has the whole be a man and take it, it will make you stronger. Only us as mothers like to do the opposite and prevent any teasing if we can help it. If your son wants it gone then do it and tell your husband there will be other times in life that your son will have a chance to build character.

dinahrp
by Dinah on Jun. 23, 2012 at 6:15 PM

I agree w/ you. 

LilTymomma
by Member on Jun. 24, 2012 at 12:06 AM

Ask him if he wants to send him to the shrink or the treatment center to get it removed. This is a typical hispanic thing to say,(i mean even if he's not ) I hate ppl like that. Its about whats best for the kid not what you think might be good for him. I would rather not risk him having any emotional and mental issues. But then, it could be a test about his self steem and that is not always about looks, and who his real friends are. Either way good luck! 

Love Always,

Angel

typing

Star127
by Member on Jun. 24, 2012 at 12:13 AM
As a parent we shld prevent if we can that includes anything that might cause bullying, normally i dont ask hubby but..my son has something similar so i asked what u if we had to do.something similar he said only if it wasnt going to harm him n the future, so ..maybe dh is just worried abt side affects but hasnt really said that? Hope this helps..
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Star127
by Member on Jun. 24, 2012 at 12:17 AM
1 mom liked this
Yes i realize im abt to quote myself..lol, .... If son wants it, it is his body , i would just let hubby know were getting it done..

Quoting Star127:

As a parent we shld prevent if we can that includes anything that might cause bullying, normally i dont ask hubby but..my son has something similar so i asked what u if we had to do.something similar he said only if it wasnt going to harm him n the future, so ..maybe dh is just worried abt side affects but hasnt really said that? Hope this helps..
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aidenmomplus4
by Member on Jun. 25, 2012 at 1:54 PM

Yes  a child must learn to built character but he will have plenty of obsoletes in his life to do so, but exposing or pushing your child to overcome this situation by putting on a pride face isn't going to work, he is still very young so I disagree with your husband and FULLY agree with you. If you can help your child avoid a situation where he can be emotionally harmed by other children, I believe as a parent it's our responsibility and in no way do I think doing this for your child would be "babying" him or denying him to build character. 

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