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Going on my first date! HELP!! :)

Posted by on Dec. 20, 2012 at 5:21 AM
  • 14 Replies
Hello Ladies! I need some advice bad! Lol I am going on my first real date since the donor! (I had dated one guy before baby however we we're good friends and I was very comfortable around him) its been about 7 years and I had no children since I've last dated. I now have two little ones including a 5 1/2 month old. So my questions are, what do I do!?!? Lol (he knows about my two LO's) I will obviously need to reference to my children a lot as they are my world and he will need to know that, do I bring them up a lot? Or this first time keep it a lot about me and who I am? Do I tell him this is my first time dating since the donor and its all new to me or not a good idea? Gosh this is all completely new to me.

A little about the guy: my aunt goes to the gym with him. He had mentioned he wanted to get his back waxed for his vacation. ( she told him I was an Esthetician) and he asked "does she happen to be single?! She said yes so he found me on FB and wrote me and now we're going on a date on Friday lol. I don't want to screw this one up! The guy has a very good head on his shoulders. He is a investigator for murder and robbery cases and just took his bar exam to become a lawyer. He loves to dance, travel, eat all I've ever wanted lol

Any advice is appreciated :) thank you
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by on Dec. 20, 2012 at 5:21 AM
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Replies (1-10):
ms.roxxiepink
by Member on Dec. 20, 2012 at 8:24 AM
i think it dhould be all about u first because ur kids do mean alot but u also need time for urself! i havent dated in 8 months but its about time!! we need to habe fun too especially cuz were not married ...
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twobells
by Orfelinda on Dec. 20, 2012 at 8:28 AM
1 mom liked this

I remember going on my first date after my divorce. I had three kids and was also very nervous. He knew I had three kids and wanted to do something that all of us can do together. I did not agree to this and it was only the two of us. I did not let him meet my kids till about 6 months. Maybe a little bit more, but I wanted to make sure I did not introduce my kids to someone that might not be around. I did not talk much about the kids on the date. I wanted to focus more on us. I did tell him their ages and their likes and dislikes. Be strong and confident. Try to keep the conversation positive and as honest as possible. I think right now it is on a need to know basis, so don't offer information. If the date goes well then slowly you can tell him more and more about you and your kids. Don't let him ask you to many questions to where it feels more like a interview and not a date. Change the subject and make it clear that at this time you are not willing to talk about certain issues. He sounds like a great guy that even if it does not go well he can become a good friend. Good Luck.

sophiesmom07
by on Dec. 20, 2012 at 10:43 AM

Exciting! Just get all dolled up and be yourself! Just let the conversation flow.  I wouldn't mention anything about it being your first time dating since your separation. Take it slow! Good luck!

ana326
by Ana-Mexicana on Dec. 20, 2012 at 10:59 AM
I agree with the other ladies. Just take it slow. Really get to know this guy. Don't bring up your douche bag ex. Be yourself. Have fun and look sexy.
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karladiego
by Karla on Dec. 20, 2012 at 11:42 AM

i remember how it is to get back on the horse after the fall...I was not nervous though, I was kinda direct about it, talked about myself and made clear I was a single mom and that he had the choice to walk out if he wasn't up to dating a single mom with an obnoxious ex, we dated for a while, he was a teacher but along the way we found out we wanted different things and then came along who became my husband, he was divorced with 3 girls and I was a single mom and for some reason I was a bit nervous but I was myself, I ate and had a beer and he fell in love with me because I wasn't the salad/glass of water kind of girl lol.

So, what I am trying to tell you is to be yourself, make it about you, he is dating you not your kids, he already knows your a mom and although our kids are the most important thing in our lives, you need some adult time too, so enjoy your date, have an adult conversation, get to know the guy pretty good and when things move along just drop the reminder that you are a "package deal" which means you and your kids...when time comes introduce him to your kids (once you feel and know that things could be more serious) see how they interact, you will know if this guy is the right guy. As far as talking about your kids, just mention them when he inquires about it, the important thing is that you get to know him and he gets to know you.

Best of luck!

Supervane
by Vane on Dec. 20, 2012 at 1:13 PM
It should be about you, let him see your personality. Don't overly talk about you're kids not because you don't love them or anything but also for safety.
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ZachysMama08
by Silver Member on Dec. 20, 2012 at 1:49 PM
Thank you Ladies for all of your feedback. I am excited! :)
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JCTVCBN
by Marina-Tex-Mex on Dec. 20, 2012 at 2:13 PM
Good luck! : )

I hope you have a great time!
NADIA-R
by NADIA on Dec. 20, 2012 at 11:47 PM
I thiink I'm late for the advice cause the rest of the ladies said it all very well. Let's us know how the date went.
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ZachysMama08
by Silver Member on Dec. 21, 2012 at 1:03 AM
Aww thank you :) .. I will :)

Quoting NADIA-R:

I thiink I'm late for the advice cause the rest of the ladies said it all very well. Let's us know how the date went.
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