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MAMAS LATINAS MAMAS LATINAS

Money and family

Posted by on Jan. 22, 2013 at 2:26 PM
  • 13 Replies

 So, I am married to a wonderful man, but he is getting upset with me bc I am paying my parents internet and cable bill.  He feels that, that money could be going to one of our kids or could be getting used or saved for something else.  The only reason why I pay my parents internet/cable bill is bc I have a 9 year old sister, 18 yr old sister (she works), and my 19 year old (bum) brother still living with my parents.  My father has always complained how he doesnt have enough money for little expenses here and there for my siblings.  So I feel that they shouldnt have to suffer of boredom and neglect that my father does provide them with.  So my question is should I still pay their bill or should I stop and have them figure it out.  I have been helping them out with money since 2004 which is when I left the house.  My husband feels that I am not helping them out by paying for their bill.  My thinking is that I need to help them out bc family regardless of what happens will always be there for you.  What do you think? Oh and we have a 7 year old, a 19 month old, and one due in February.

by on Jan. 22, 2013 at 2:26 PM
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Replies (1-10):
Pazamia
by on Jan. 22, 2013 at 6:35 PM
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You are very kind for doing that.  I think it's not your responsibility to pay for their bills since you don't live with them.  Let them figure how to pay for those luxeries themselves.  You have your own family to support.

twobells
by Orfelinda on Jan. 22, 2013 at 8:42 PM
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I work and my husband works as well. We pay our bills and have a savings. What ever money I have left from my job is mine to do what I want. He does not question what I do with my money. I do help my dad out and at times other siblings. When I go visit I will buy groceries, anything the house might need or anything he might need. I help my dad out cause he has always been there for me. If I was not financiallyable to do so I would help out in some other way. If this really means a lot to you let your husband know that. Maybe compromise and let your dad know that with another baby on the way you can only pay half the bill now. Good luck.

NADIA-R
by NADIA on Jan. 22, 2013 at 11:37 PM
1 mom liked this
I think that if it were bills like gas or electric bill then go for it. Its something they need but cable and Internet I see them as luxury that they can do without and if you brother is at home and doesn't help out then chances are that he is watching tv or online wasting time which is not helping the situation at all. If you do it for your lil sister or your dad why don't you try doing something else better like taking them to the movies or a personal treat.
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crabbyD
by Bronze Member on Jan. 23, 2013 at 8:38 AM
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The ladies above all have good points... My thought is asking your siblings to step it up... My question to you is, how much of a detriment is paying their bill for you financially? My other thought was @ 18 and 19 yo your siblings are old enough to help pitch in! Cable to me is a luxury, but internet has.become a necessity with school and looking for employment.

Personally speaking if this was happening in my household I'd.be very careful.bringing it up to my Dh... I don't like being told what to do with my money especially if bills and whatnot are being taken care of. But I can see why your s/o might be bothered.by it especially if you have siblings who are more than capable of helping out financially. Another thought... Do your parents even use the internet? This is a weird situation because I don't see it as a dire need... Sorry for my ramblings... I'm just typing as I'm thinking, lol.
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JeannetteG
by Jeannette-AZ/Mex on Jan. 23, 2013 at 9:02 AM
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Quoting crabbyD:

The ladies above all have good points... My thought is asking your siblings to step it up... My question to you is, how much of a detriment is paying their bill for you financially? My other thought was @ 18 and 19 yo your siblings are old enough to help pitch in! Cable to me is a luxury, but internet has.become a necessity with school and looking for employment.

Personally speaking if this was happening in my household I'd.be very careful.bringing it up to my Dh... I don't like being told what to do with my money especially if bills and whatnot are being taken care of. But I can see why your s/o might be bothered.by it especially if you have siblings who are more than capable of helping out financially. Another thought... Do your parents even use the internet? This is a weird situation because I don't see it as a dire need... Sorry for my ramblings... I'm just typing as I'm thinking, lol.


I agree with this, especially with the first paragraph. Honestly if I were your DH I'd honestly not like this, but it's your family and if you make that much extra money to afford it then go right ahead.

ana326
by Ana-Mexicana on Jan. 23, 2013 at 10:09 AM
1 mom liked this
You've got good advice. I agree with the ladies.
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karladiego
by Karla on Jan. 23, 2013 at 7:17 PM
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I agree with the ladies...If it is a burden to you and your family then you should stop, your siblings should pitch in since you don't live there anymore. I love my family but my son and hubby (my little family) comes first.
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GOYA
by Bronze Member on Jan. 24, 2013 at 9:21 AM
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WOW!!! That is a hard one. I think your youngest sibling is the one who would benefit from that the most because she is so young and now in days schools require that as students to do school assignments online and sometimes tv. But to be honest I think your brother should at least get a part time job and help to contribute into that house. After all he is also a part of the family and most importantly a man and he needs to help out. But this is just what I think and the decision is up to you.

bbyB10
by Member on Jan. 24, 2013 at 9:37 AM
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Cable and internet are NOT needs
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vvnayers
by New Member on Jan. 31, 2013 at 9:01 AM

Thanks to all of you for the advise.  I finally told my parents that this month would be the last month I would be paying for their bill.  They were appreciative and understanding of it, so all went well yeay :)

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