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From My perspective

Posted by on Apr. 19, 2010 at 1:10 AM
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I am no longer an admin so not under the gag rule either. 

So, here it is from my perspective.

Sarah had been coming into chat talking about losing her dog. People felt bad but felt she only wanted to talk about herself. She would come in a lot but only talk about her poor dog and when a change of subject happened she usually left. People there would occasionally say something like I'm here if you need to talk. She said things like I appreciate it but never took them up on it. One day there is some big hoopla to do with Sarah and Alana. Then Alana deleted a thread and Sarah reacted. It seemed clear emotions were running on high. Things were uncomfortable in admin but there wasn't any kind of reaching out. It was more, IMO, an uncomfortable feeling like the parents were fighting type deal. So, then comes that fateful "friends" post from Sarah.

I can understand that being offensive to people she knew IRl but why were others so upset by it? Yes, Sarah was acting emotional but hasn't pretty much everyone in the group. Don't we use this as our outlet to let go, vent and get support? It was different because Sarah was GO. She should be held to a higher standard.

One day I am chatting with Donna when she asks me if I'm admin. I say yes. SO she sends me a link to a group were chat is already in progress. When I come in Alana and Zee are already there. The GO is Donna and the name of the group was "Concerned Friends of RR". I thought sure I'm concerned. RR has meant a lot to me. This was the first online group that i fit in and felt connections with others. It was like a family and I was proud to be a member and more recently am admin of this group.

I go into chat to see Alana. Honestly, that was a bit off putting. I mean they (her and Sarah) just had a huge fight publicly and I rather thought, hmm revenge? I was assured that was NOT the case. We were there because we cared about Sarah and only wanted the best for the group.

Donna, wanted everything to be unanimous. Good idea but also difficult if you involve too many. So, it did start out as concern. And after each new person was added each one said clearly they wanted no part in a mutiny! And each new memeber was told that was absoluelty not the point and none of us wanted that.

there were group chats to discuss. It was difficult to keep them on track. Some were just mad at Sarah and wanted to do things to RR to hurt her. But that was quickly shot down. It was finally agreed upon to write a letter. We all knew if anyone, especially Sarah found out we had the secret group she would be furious.

We were all assured that every attempt was made to try and talk it over with Sarah but all to no avail. It was then asked do we let Jen in. a couple  it was a pretty general consensus no. I don't know why you would have heard anyone worked hard against to not have you in Jen, sorry. I'm sure that hurt but it's just not true. She was seen as a friend of Sarah's and would surely tell her before we had the chance to finish our letter. Then contingencies were discussed. What if things go badly? Well, we would just start over. If Sarah did not agree to our conditions it was hoped we could vote in a new GO. Or we'd just start from scratch, either way Donna was the one that would be in charge.

So, the letter was written. but again all things in this group had to be unanaimous so it took a couple days. It was discussed and agreed by all that Jen was only to know at the last possible minute before it was posted in admin.

When Sarah read it and responded all of that was copy and pasted to the secret group for the non admins to read and comment. A chat was opened. People were angry by Sarah's response. She refused to apologize and didn't think she had done anything wrong and was very suspicious about the whole thing. An innocent member open RR chat someone found out Sarah was there and everyone wanted to go get her. I said we all have a right to talk to her and ask questions. I truly didn't think what did happen was going to. I really didn't think these normally cool headed women were going to go off the way they did.   Allie and I believe Zee begged them to wait at least a day to cool off and discuss things calmly. But everyone left the secret group chat and raced to the RR chat to have it out with Sarah. 

It was pretty brutal. She was being ripped into ny one after the other. It looked like Gen was acting as though she didn't know about the secret group, to me anyhow. And then she tells us she's been talking to Sarah on the phone all day. I don't know but that just looked really odd.

Then Sarah and Gen leave at the same time and then come back at the same time and Gen comes in putting up smileys telling us she is new GO. Sarah tells us here is your new GO and leaves.

After all that we were all kind of spinning. Many of us said how terrible we felt. Many said over and over I thought we were going to cool off first. I thought we all cared about Sarah, I didn't sign up for this.

From there it seems that Sarah just got written off as a mental case and just trying to start drama.

  The secret group was cleaned up (everything deleted) then the name changed to RR advisory group anf then Jen was allowed in. Thats pretty much what I remember. I'm sorry if  there are details I missed

by on Apr. 19, 2010 at 1:10 AM
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Replies (1-10):
SaToJeKaBe2
by Group Owner on Apr. 19, 2010 at 3:50 AM

Thank you for posting this.  I already said thanks over in RR as well. 

Interesting that the attack in chat was planned.  I wasn't aware of that part.  Thanks for including that.

“I know that you believe you understand what you think I said, but I'm not sure you realize that what you heard is not what I meant.” ~Robert McCloskey

lisarose45
by on Apr. 19, 2010 at 3:54 AM

Thanks, I was asked to join that group and I did but I never really got the point of what it was for, all I can say is wow...................

missbrittani
by Member on Apr. 19, 2010 at 11:22 AM

They keep trying to say we are starting drama and why rehash it. Well, I would say because it is not over. They just set me up and stabbed me in the back just like they did Sarah. I did believe Sarah was out of control and we needed to save her from herself. Then suddenly they are doing the same thing to me and I'm like Wait what. I had some people, friends and family read the admin threads and such and the overwhelming response was wow, that Gen chick is out to get you. What'd you do to piss her off?! It is interesting how things are being portrayed now. How they are editing or spinning things.

I was de-admined for Gen thinking I was talking to Sarah. Being a Sarah sympathizer, I suppose. That was interesting as I had no clue Sarah was back this time until I was de-admined for it.

Janiepie
by Group Admin on Apr. 19, 2010 at 1:23 PM

 

Quoting missbrittani:

. I had some people, friends and family read the admin threads and such and the overwhelming response was wow, that Gen chick is out to get you. What'd you do to piss her off?!

Do you have copies of these communications? 

JaniePie

http://cloakedmonk.wordpress.com/
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missbrittani
by Member on Apr. 19, 2010 at 5:59 PM


Quoting Janiepie:

 

Quoting missbrittani:

. I had some people, friends and family read the admin threads and such and the overwhelming response was wow, that Gen chick is out to get you. What'd you do to piss her off?!

Do you have copies of these communications? 

That is all in the admin forum, which I am no longer in. Due to Gen believing I had something to do with Sarah's return(I do have the PM's to prove that!).  I would love for those to be shared, unedited of, course.

SaToJeKaBe2
by Group Owner on Apr. 19, 2010 at 6:02 PM

Unedited is, of course, the concern.  There have been too many lies.  Who knows who can be trusted anymore?

“I know that you believe you understand what you think I said, but I'm not sure you realize that what you heard is not what I meant.” ~Robert McCloskey

radavis777
by on Apr. 22, 2010 at 8:53 AM

 

Quoting lisarose45:

Thanks, I was asked to join that group and I did but I never really got the point of what it was for, all I can say is wow...................

 You were invited AFTER the formation of the group to decide how to address our issues with Sarah.   The group "morphed" into an "Advisory Group" where we chat twice a month in order to see what can be done to make the group better.  You were invited because we thought your input into that would be insightful.

We cannot have a private admin chat in RR. 

radavis777
by on Apr. 22, 2010 at 8:55 AM

 

Quoting missbrittani:


Quoting Janiepie:

 

Quoting missbrittani:

. I had some people, friends and family read the admin threads and such and the overwhelming response was wow, that Gen chick is out to get you. What'd you do to piss her off?!

Do you have copies of these communications? 

That is all in the admin forum, which I am no longer in. Due to Gen believing I had something to do with Sarah's return(I do have the PM's to prove that!).  I would love for those to be shared, unedited of, course.

 The admin forum does NOT have communications from your friends and family saying Gen is out to get you!!!

radavis777
by on Apr. 22, 2010 at 9:02 AM

 

Quoting missbrittani:

...

I was de-admined for Gen thinking I was talking to Sarah. Being a Sarah sympathizer, I suppose. That was interesting as I had no clue Sarah was back this time until I was de-admined for it.

 This is the message to Britt from Gen:

Message:
Ya know, I find it really very strange that every time there is drama surrounding you, Sarah comes back to stir the pot.

Your actions in regards to RA's locking that thread were WAY over the top. And after what happened just a few weeks ago, I am having a hard time seeing this as a coincidence. For now, for my sanity, for my faith in the admin team as a whole, I have to demote you. Feel free to PM me about it. I'll be gone most of the day, but I'll get back to you if and when I get the msg.

P.S.  Britt -- who do you think told Gen the things she knew about???

radavis777
by on Apr. 22, 2010 at 9:10 AM

 

Quoting SaToJeKaBe2:

Unedited is, of course, the concern.  There have been too many lies.  Who knows who can be trusted anymore?

 Exactly!  "Once bitten, twice shy" -- this time I have on my high-top, thick soled, leather boots on -- instead of flip-flops.

 

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