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I feel so lost

Posted by on May. 26, 2010 at 4:17 PM
  • 4 Replies

As most of you may know I was pregnant with twins and lost them both, well I have my d and c on Friday and I am having such a hard time dealing with this. All my freinds are pregnant with healthy pregnancy and I HATE seeing them. I just dont know what to do. I sit at home all day just crying I cant handle this anymore. I dont know what to do....... Its not fair to my son because he still thinks theres a baby and I cant tell him different although hes only 2 he still knows. I am always a high risk and all my freinds think they are high risk because she had a bladder infection. Gosh I just want to punch her in the face but I know thats not the way to deal with this

by on May. 26, 2010 at 4:17 PM
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by on May. 26, 2010 at 5:14 PM
Feel what you need to feel. Give yourself time to grieve. I like to write really angry, mean things in my journal.
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by on May. 26, 2010 at 5:28 PM

Understand the way you are feeling is OK and normal, you need to be honest with yourself... I lost our child when my youngest was 2 and he still to this day will ask when will he get to see his baby and even still after 2 yrs he does not understand that the baby died.. It is still hard to this day.. Take time to mourn and grieve. GL MOMMA We are here for you..

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by Jenn on May. 27, 2010 at 10:09 AM

I am sorry for your loss.  Please know that your feelings are normal.  It will take you a while to work through your feelings but once you do, you'll find a fresh perspective and you won't want to beat your friends so much :) (I say that to make you smile).

Know you can come here any time of day or night.  We're here to listen.

by on May. 27, 2010 at 4:48 PM

You have every right to be upset and to mourn. Give yourself permission to do both.

I know your son is too young to understand fully what has happened, but perhaps you could share with him a little, when you're ready? If you're Christian, you could explain that your babies have gone to Heaven but are little guardian angels for your family. You might even find a symbol--something with angels?--for your DS. Many plant flowers or trees in honor of lost babies. May also be nice to name starts after them (so they can be twinkling down on you always). Perhaps something like this would help to explain circumstances to your son but also bring you some comfort?

I agree with MargotRanae that journaling helps, if you are someone who likes to write. If not, think about what activities bring you comfort/joy. Perhaps there's a way for you topour out your feelings in such an activity?

As Jenn said, we are here to listen. Talk through anything you'd like with us. It helped me a great deal to talk through my feelings and let myself process through everything. Because I let myself mourn, in time, the pain did lessen. I hope the same for you.

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