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Is this sick and creepy?

Posted by on Jul. 25, 2010 at 12:13 AM
  • 13 Replies

My doc gave me pictures of my ectopic pregnancy from the laparoscopy. Is it sick and creepy that I can't stop staring at them? Should I just file them away? Part of me says yes, get rid of them move on, another part says I should keep them handy until I'm ready to put them away. But I keep looking at the same thing over and over, like something new is going to pop out at me.  Just wondering if this is normal grieving or I'm sinking to another level.

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by on Jul. 25, 2010 at 12:13 AM
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by on Jul. 25, 2010 at 12:24 AM

I think its completley normal.  If its going to help you greieve then go ahead.  I know what you went thru was a very hard and emotional thing.  Any of these that we went thru is emotional, but they told you it was one thing, and then to do another and then to end up having surgery.  Thats alot in the short time frame that you had to deal with.  I think if you wanted too, make a little baby book and talk about your bfp, to everything you went thru.  You can put those pics in there too.  Put your pee stick in there, and maybe some baby stickers and such.  I did that when i miscarried my helped me out alot, and i still look at it.  Your a strong woman and i know this is a hard time.  theres nothing wrong with crying and grieving :)   Were going to get pregnant sooN!!!! oH yeah, i know it :)   If you ever need to talk, im here

by on Jul. 25, 2010 at 12:31 AM

 It's completely normal.  I don't have u/s pics, but I read over my hospital reports many times.  I also regret throwing out my pee sticks.  I was upset when I did it, but I wish I had it now to put in my journal.  I did keep the cards people sent and put them in there. 

You should never feel that what you do is wrong or abnormal.  You do whatever you need to, to grieve and remember your baby.

by on Jul. 25, 2010 at 12:35 AM
No one can tell you how to grieve. There is nothing wrong with what you're doing if it's helping you get through this very hard time. Hugs to you.
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by on Jul. 25, 2010 at 11:58 AM

Thanks for all the words of encouragment! I guess I just needed to hear I'm normal! I wish I hadn't thrown out my pee sticks now and I even took pictures of them & sent it in an email to DH. I erased all the pictures from my computer and camera. Maybe I can dig up the email I sent and print it out. I love the idea of a baby book. I think that would help. Thanks!!

by on Jul. 25, 2010 at 12:06 PM

Honey there is no "normal" way to grieve. We just do what we can to make it through. I threw away my pee sticks (yeah I had taken 4, LOL) out of depression, but I do have pictures. I have the hosp. reports...I've debated throwing them out. But I think at some point in time I might want to look back at them. At this moment I just want to kind of avoid that stuff, so its put away. I do keep a journal of all of this too, and I think sometime it may come in helpful.
Just remember, you do WHATEVER makes your grieving process go a little easier.

by on Jul. 25, 2010 at 4:34 PM

As the others said, you should do whatever feels right and helps you to grieve. It makes sense to me to want to keep looking at pictures of your baby as you're accepting that s/he's gone.

I'm so sorry for your loss. Take care of yourself.

by Amy on Jul. 25, 2010 at 4:56 PM

*hugs* sorry for your loss hun.  I agree with the other ladies though we all grieve in different ways and that's your way of grieving and there isn't anything wrong with that. 


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by on Jul. 25, 2010 at 7:47 PM

It is fine. You might want to set a date to put it away and plan on doing something positive to commemorate the new direction. I threw out my pregnancy tests. I'll always remember what happened when I found out I was pregnant. And, I also wrote about it. I also will remember what happened with I m/c. The power isn't in the object but what you remember.

by on Jul. 25, 2010 at 10:20 PM

 It  is all about what YOU feel that you are ready to do. If you ask each of us that post here what we did following our loss, you'd find an array of different answers, experiences, and stories regarding how we felt, how we grieved, what emotions that we have and still do struggle with. I was just now able to throw away my paperwork from the hospital discharge. But I'm still holding on to my positive test stick (one of 4 that I had). And it's normal to wonder if you're "justified" or "reasonable" in what you're doing but the truth is that whatever gets you through from one day to the next is exactly what you need to do. I sincerely hope that with each passing day, you continue to regain your strength physically and otherwise. Hugs to you!

Cafe Jenn
by on Jul. 26, 2010 at 10:01 AM

I agree it's what you feel comfortable with.  If you feel you are spending too much time looking at them and they're not helping, put them away for now until you can decide what you should do with them.  I really don't believe there is a normal when it comes to grieving.  It's whatever you believe it best for you.

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