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ARE YOU SERIOUS? (MISCARRIAGE QUESTION) PIOG

Posted by on Aug. 31, 2010 at 11:38 AM
  • 20 Replies

Let me start out by saying that I am not impressed with my DR at all!  I had a m/c a couple weeks ago and was not impressed with the way it was handled by the dr or her office.  Well yesterday I went in for my follow up appointment and blood work. I had a few questions for my dr, so when she was done I asked her my questions and was completely floored with her answers.  I was 10wks when I m/c, but the baby died at 5wks, so I wasn't far along.  My first question was kind of the obvious, "when can we start trying again" her answer was 6months!  Yes she said 6months!  She said she thinks that that is when I would be emotionally ready! Like she knows my emotions.  I'm not emotionally ready to wait 6months!  My second question was "when can my dh and I have sex again?" she said to wait until my hormones are negative, which could be another 2 weeks and then wait 2 weeks after that!  WTF that is more than 6weeks total after the m/c! I didn't have to wait that long after my ds was born and my body went through more physical trauma down there with a full birth than it did with my m/c.  Has anyone ever heard of this?  I'm so irritated!  I'm definitely finding a new dr for when I get pregnant again!

by on Aug. 31, 2010 at 11:38 AM
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Replies (1-10):
Monstersmom307
by on Aug. 31, 2010 at 11:53 AM

bump

bbmkfo03
by on Aug. 31, 2010 at 11:57 AM

Every doctor will tell you something different but I'd def wait until the hormones are out of your system at least. You dont have to follow the docs advice and I dont know how she knows when you'll be "emotionally" ready, only you know that. I wish you good luck and hope that you get to TTC again soon! 

Cafe Jenn
by on Aug. 31, 2010 at 12:04 PM

Wow, some doctors are so stupid.  Makes you wonder where they got their license.  

I am sorry you have to deal with the stupidity.  I usually highly suggest following what your doctor says because every pregnancy is different and every miscarriage is different and most doctors have valid reasons why they tell you to wait but all I can say is wow, I'm not sure I'd listen to her.

I think it's a good idea to switch doctors.  Its a wonder she has a practice if she's like that.

Monstersmom307
by on Aug. 31, 2010 at 12:04 PM

Thank you!  Her replies really threw me off!  I had read/heard other things, but I thought I shoud ask my dr to be sure.  I think the thing that irritated me the most is that she made a personal judgement about my emotions.  She has met me twice, and she felt she could make that personal judgement?  The reason I go to the dr is to ge medical advice not personal opinions.  THis just really irritated me, but made it clear that I need to switch drs

echupko
by on Aug. 31, 2010 at 12:34 PM

 WOW!!  I would switch dr's too!!!  Only you and your DH will know when you are emotionally ready.

I am so sorry for your loss, GOOD LUCK!

Mom2Be0804
by on Aug. 31, 2010 at 1:34 PM

Wow!  I don't think I have ever heard those answers before.  If you're thinking about switching OBs, you need to do what is best for you!  My OB said that we could try again after one cycle to regulate my body and that we could have sex after my post-op (I had a d&c) appointment (4 weeks after the procedure).

I am so sorry for your loss and hope that you find some realistic answers to your questions soon!

hugs

Lilypie Angel and Memorial tickers
LoriAnn87
by on Aug. 31, 2010 at 1:50 PM

hugs

I look for another dr because after I had my mc my ob dr and nurse told me to wait until I have my first normal period again and once I do to start trying again. As for sex they both told me it was really up to me and my husband when we wanted to starting having sex again. You and your husband do what is best for the two of yous. Good Luck.

blowing bubbles            

genabella
by on Aug. 31, 2010 at 1:59 PM

UGH! I know that you had to be taken aback by those responses. And I know why...Six months is longer than I've EVER heard anyone mention re: waiting to start ttc again. And even the six weeks for "mommy-daddy time" (wink) is a bit... err... long. I don't know every detail of your situation but I understand your frustration. I think that, unless there are mitigating circumstances that are at play, you can use how you feel as a better gauge of when you'd like to try again, resume "efforts," etc..

Doctors can be exasperating at times.. Hang in there!

Jess0915
by on Aug. 31, 2010 at 2:06 PM
First of all, I'm so sorry for your loss.
I agree with Jenn, I think I would consider another doctor. In fact, this is your life and possibly the life of your future child, so "shop around", you have every right to be picky.
Good luck and hugs to you!


Quoting Cafe Jenn:

Wow, some doctors are so stupid.  Makes you wonder where they got their license.  


I am sorry you have to deal with the stupidity.  I usually highly suggest following what your doctor says because every pregnancy is different and every miscarriage is different and most doctors have valid reasons why they tell you to wait but all I can say is wow, I'm not sure I'd listen to her.


I think it's a good idea to switch doctors.  Its a wonder she has a practice if she's like that.


Posted on CafeMom Mobile
Monstersmom307
by on Aug. 31, 2010 at 2:45 PM

Thanks!  There were no complications or anything.  I had a "normal" m/c...if there is such a thing.  No d&c I was 10wks, but the baby died around 4-5 wks so I was just shocked when she said that!

Quoting genabella:

UGH! I know that you had to be taken aback by those responses. And I know why...Six months is longer than I've EVER heard anyone mention re: waiting to start ttc again. And even the six weeks for "mommy-daddy time" (wink) is a bit... err... long. I don't know every detail of your situation but I understand your frustration. I think that, unless there are mitigating circumstances that are at play, you can use how you feel as a better gauge of when you'd like to try again, resume "efforts," etc..

Doctors can be exasperating at times.. Hang in there!


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