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New, just possibly experienced first miscarriage (EDITED w/ 2 Question)

Posted by on Sep. 28, 2010 at 12:43 PM
  • 15 Replies

First off Im a 23 year old mom to a 21 month old miracle boy and engaged (but spiritually married) to an amazingly support but unsure what to do to help guy.  We have been TTC#2 since last November.  For that last few weeks I have felt pregnant, below is an email that I sent to a very close friend that has experienced a miscarriage explaing the best I can what has happened.

I have been talkin with my doctor for the last week about my symptoms and how they are identical to what I had when I got pregnant with DS.  I have had everything from implantation bleeding and minor cramping.  I have had major fatigue coupled with the inability to sleep at night.  I have been having extreme nausea.  Lately I have been constanly wanting to eat and just a couple hours after dinner Im hungry again.  This is a mirror image to when I got pregnant with DS.  My doctor was even sure I was pregnant though she hasnt seen me yet.  I just knew I was pregnant I could feel it I had the whole wanting to explode with excitement feeling.  When I started cramping yesterday I didnt think much of it till I noticed the light bleeding.  It only lasted for a few hours but had me on edge the rest of the day.  I had light bleeding about an hour before I went to bed and nothing else the rest of the night.  I woke up at about 6am to massive cramps and heavy bleeding.  When I laid back down I just had this feeling of emptyness and when SO rolled over and looked at me thats all it took for me to break down.  We have no car and no one here has the money to take me to the hospital, my doctor even said when I just talked to her that I dont need anymore stress and all of the tests would just cause that and there isnt any reason I need to really come in since Im under eight weeks all they would do it just confirm it and send me home so my body could naturally expel the fetal and placental tissue.

My doctor remembered that I hate medical intervention unless its medical nessacary.  My DS was born early due to complications and she found out then that only if my child or myself were in danger did I want the intervention.  She stated that the tests would make me uncomfortable about make the emotional pain worst.  i believe that if our ancestors didnt need medical help like we have these days then we dont really need it, at least she respects that.

Im currently at a stand still on what to do, I have told a few select people other then this post including my DF and some personal long time friends that thave experienced this. So I was wondering if since I am currently living with my mom and helping take care of my grandfather if maybe I should clue them in.  This was totally unexpected, we had been TTC#2 but stopped due to lost of employment for myself.  Ladies what would you do. AND MY SECOND QUESTION IS WHO DID YOU DEAL WITH THE BLEEDING, I CANT FIND ANYTHING THAT SAYS IF I CAN USE TAMPONS OR NOT CAUSE I HATE USING PADS THEY ARE UNCOMFORTABLE FOR ME?

I am a...bottle feeding, vaccinating, non-circumsising, disposable diapering, baby wearing, attachment parenting but non-cosleeping, totally against CIO, tattoo and piercing loving, time out giving, future public schooling, video game loving, online but child first, chevy driving, dirt bike riding, off roading and four wheeling, pro-gun, hunting and fishing, meat eating, going to college, young post-NICU mom to a wonderful angel boy.

by on Sep. 28, 2010 at 12:43 PM
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Cafe Jenn
by on Sep. 28, 2010 at 2:02 PM

It does sound like you are experiencing a miscarriage.  I'm sorry :(  I wish that no one would have to experience that.  I'm assuming that you did not take a HPT to confirm your suspicion of being pregnant?  

I agree that there really isn't anything that a doctor can do to prevent a miscarriage if you are indeed miscarrying right now.  It really sucks.  

Know we are here for you if you need to talk.

by Bronze Member on Sep. 28, 2010 at 2:02 PM

First of all, I am so sorry.

I have 3 wonderful, healthy children, and all 3 of my pregnancies were uneventful.

I found out I was pregnant with my 4th on August 9th.  I was so excited!  My doctor was always skeptical that something wasn't right.  He said my numbers weren't right for when my last lmp was.  I had a sonogram done on Sept 2, that showed the baby was measuring at 6 weeks (we knew we were 8 weeks along), but heard the heartbeat and was assured that everything was ok.

On Sept 15th I woke up to very light bleeding that quit within 10 minutes.  No cramping or anything else.  I went to the doctor that afternoon for an emergency sonogram that showed there had been no further growth since the Sept 2 sonogram, and there was no heartbeat.  I had lost the baby.  It took exactly another week, before my body started to take care of things naturally.  I expelled everything on Sept 22nd.

This is my first miscarriage and was devastated.  I'm the one in the family that nothing ever happens to medically, and everyone is in shock.

If you did miscarry, give your body time to work it out.  If my baby stopped developing around 6 weeks, then it took me almost a month (by my calculations) before I expelled it.  I am so thankful that I avoided a D&C because I did not want to go through that.

Lilypie - Personal pictureLilypie Angel and Memorial tickers
by on Sep. 28, 2010 at 2:16 PM

i have had 3 uneventful pregnancies also... they were all healthy normal pregnancies and births.. nothing out of the ordinary.. then i found out i was preg aug 22nd.. and it went downhill.. i lost the baby that week and it still hurts.. its very hard to deal with but we are here for you.

by on Sep. 28, 2010 at 2:26 PM

I'm so  sorry for what you are going through :( If you feel that it is best to be home during this time then that is right were you need to be. We are all here for you! HUGS

by on Sep. 28, 2010 at 2:31 PM

Many of us here have had natural miscarriages like yourself.  If you truly feel you have miscarried, giv your body some time to heal its self naturally.  I would only be concerned if the pain gets worse or you develop a fever.  Other then that, just wait it out.  I know its difficult, but we've been through it too and are here for you!!

by on Sep. 28, 2010 at 2:40 PM

Im sorry,ive had 3 early losses all naturally at home.My dr pretty much told me with the last one that i could come in if i felt the need to but since it was such an early loss my pregnancy tests would probably show up neg.So i didnt test.I knew in my heart that i was pregnant and was losing the baby.So i just went through it here at home and only went back to the dr about a week later,because i was running fever and still not feeling better.

by on Sep. 28, 2010 at 3:45 PM

DO NOT use tampons!!!!!  Your body needs to expel the fetus completely.  If you use a tampon, it holds the the tissue inside and your body will recognize it as foreign member and attack it which can cause damage.  You'll have to stick to using pads until the bleeding stops. I'm sorry that's so graphic, but that's what happends =(

As for your first question, that is a decision you will have to make on your own.  My DH and I never told anyone about our pregnancy, we were waiting for the US, so we never told anyone i MC'd.  My DH, 2 close friends and y'all are the only ones that know.  It's an extremely personal choice, and only you can decide who you want to tell.



by on Sep. 28, 2010 at 3:47 PM
thanks but man i hate pads! ugg oh well
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by on Sep. 28, 2010 at 3:57 PM

I hear you i hate using pads as well but unfortunately you have too.As far as telling people.I didnt tell anyone i was pregnant,because i wanted to wait until i had seen the dr 1st,but then i m/c.So i told dh first,then my mom,because she could sense something was up with me.As well as my bff,she was my outlet.I talked to her about everything.My dh also told his best friend i guess for the same reason, to have someone to talk to.Now we talk openly about her to anyone who asks.I like to share my experience with other moms in hopes of helping them.

And with our last 2 m/c we havent told anyone,except this group of ladies.We dont plan on telling anyone else any time soon.I just feel like it would be taken negatively and i dont want that.So its purely a personal decision

by on Sep. 28, 2010 at 4:19 PM

I think if you are comfortable in telling your mom then it would probably be a good idea. That way if you are having a hard time or in pain then you can get help and support. I was told not to use tampons. I hate pads too...have you tried the Always Infinity ones yet? they are probably my favorite

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