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Need advice about late loss/losses

Posted by on Sep. 28, 2010 at 3:51 PM
  • 3 Replies

I know this is a sensitive subject and everyone is different in how they treat this.But i was just curious and need a little advice.A family friend lost a baby girl, i believe, in the 2nd trimester,not sure the exact date,but maybe around 20wks or so.Im sending out October 15th info to the VERY few people i know personally who've had m/c's here in my hometown,in hopes maybe we can make this a bigger event(in years to come).So back to my friend,she doesnt have anything about this baby on her facebook,as in she isnt included in her "children" section.Or anything relating to her loss.So im not sure if she'd be open to receiving the email im sending out or if its too much of a tough subject for her?

Do you ladies who've had late losses, talk openly about your angel, as in when people ask how many kids you have do you include your angel in the # you tell people? Im just not sure how to approach the subject with her, if it would be too difficult on her emotionally or she would be open to reading/hearing about October 15th candle lighting and the "wave of light".

by on Sep. 28, 2010 at 3:51 PM
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Replies (1-3):
MomB79
by on Sep. 28, 2010 at 4:00 PM
I talk very openly about my loss because I know people will listen and support me. Maybe your friend doesn't yet know how to express her feelings. Sending the e mail may help her open up and reassure her of the support she has from you. I personally would appreciate it, but of course everyone is different. Good luck. :-)
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Rachelle11503
by on Sep. 28, 2010 at 4:16 PM

I think sending the email would be fine. Maybe right now she is just not ready to talk about it or share with anyone. Everyone copes with losses differently. Maybe just let her know that you'll be there for her is she ever needs someone.

Steel.Magnolia
by on Sep. 28, 2010 at 4:17 PM

 I had an early loss and really can only talk about it to my hubby and a few friends. I can't with my family. My mom has a get over it attitude and my dad gets upset about it. Soooo. I would say do what your gut tells you. Based off what you said about her and the situation (SO sad) I wouldn't send her anything. I know if I lost a baby that late I would be SUPER sensitive about it. It's no worse at any stage but carrying it 1/2 term or more... Lord that would be horrific.

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