Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

Its going to be a rough night.....

Posted by on Dec. 9, 2010 at 8:05 PM
  • 15 Replies

 Well I would have been due today with my little boy... Ive been fine all day, but I know my heart is going to ache when I rest my head on my pillow... This pain is just killing me. I feel like I cant take it anymore. I just wish my mother could hug me and say something, anything.... She ignores the pain Im going through it seems, from a mother to a mother, I just wish she could understand my pain. Funny thing today, my fiancee's mom asked when we would try again. I started to cry. I cant let go of my three angels, especially my little one that would have been due today.... What if I cant have a baby? I cant go through another one, I just cant..... I feel like I was played a cruel joke... And I HATE myself for hating God... I have been just so angry... Why me? I did everything by the book. I used to pray every night when I was pregnant, now I feel like it wont be the same... Idk... I just wish I could fall asleep and not think about it... hoping for a good night but I doubt it.

by on Dec. 9, 2010 at 8:05 PM
Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Replies (1-10):
LysNVantesMom
by Member on Dec. 9, 2010 at 8:15 PM

I'm sorry mama...
Have you talked to anyone regarding why you may be losing your babies?  I don't know your background so I can't suggest much, but just wondering. 

I will pray for you!

Wildflower1976
by on Dec. 9, 2010 at 9:18 PM

 I am so sorry. I hope you  get through the night without crying too much. It's painful.

JenJen8789
by on Dec. 9, 2010 at 10:23 PM

thanks girls.... they have no clue... running more tests this month. im just so done with all the poking around... i just want to be normal :(

Rachelle11503
by on Dec. 9, 2010 at 10:33 PM

I'm so sorry you are hurting so bad :( If you need to cry just let it all out, sometimes it helps. Maybe take a nice warm bath and listen to some soothing music, take care of yourself and show yourself the love that you would anyone else in this position.
BIG HUGS

GoldenLinds
by Silver Member on Dec. 9, 2010 at 11:49 PM

 Reading your words hit so close to home for me. I got through my due date without feeling anything overly emotional until I went to bed. Then it all came gushing out of me. I didn't say anything to anyone that day regarding what a significant date it was and somehow that made it harder, that nobody remembered. I spent a lot of time cursing God myself and although I've stopped hating Him, I'm not ready to let Him in my life yet, to have faith in Him again, I felt so betrayed somehow. Here's my wish for you... that even if the tears come when you lay down, you let tehm come, even if it feels uncontrolably overwhelming and insurmountable, you wake up feeling the beauty of the sun in the morning and that once you finally drift off to sleep, you have beautiful dreams to warm your heart and help you to find a measure of peace in your loss. Hugs to you momma.

desperatelyTTC
by on Dec. 10, 2010 at 12:19 AM

 I am so sorry you are hurting. We are here when you need a shoulder to cry on. ((HUGS)))

JenJen8789
by on Dec. 10, 2010 at 9:46 PM

       I think that's what also upset me the most, that no one even remembered so when my fiancee's mom asked me that same day when we would try again I just felt like strangling her lol..... thinking in my head, "how dare she ask?!" Ive also been wanting to pray and when I start to I just feel like my words are empty.... It makes me sooooo mad that I did everything I had to and my babies and the dreams that came with them slipped away forever.

Quoting GoldenLinds:

 Reading your words hit so close to home for me. I got through my due date without feeling anything overly emotional until I went to bed. Then it all came gushing out of me. I didn't say anything to anyone that day regarding what a significant date it was and somehow that made it harder, that nobody remembered. I spent a lot of time cursing God myself and although I've stopped hating Him, I'm not ready to let Him in my life yet, to have faith in Him again, I felt so betrayed somehow. Here's my wish for you... that even if the tears come when you lay down, you let tehm come, even if it feels uncontrolably overwhelming and insurmountable, you wake up feeling the beauty of the sun in the morning and that once you finally drift off to sleep, you have beautiful dreams to warm your heart and help you to find a measure of peace in your loss. Hugs to you momma.


so1986
by on Dec. 10, 2010 at 9:50 PM

I'm sorry. Have the doctors said anything about blood being an issue? My mom had 3 miscarriages before me all because she had negative and my dad had positive blood types.

hugs

JenJen8789
by on Dec. 10, 2010 at 9:52 PM

blood types are good.... everything was, even the doctor said she didnt get it if everything was going good... no bleeding no pain, he just came out :(

silka08
by Bronze Member on Dec. 11, 2010 at 8:18 AM
I'm so very sorry for your losses. I found myself upset with God. Then I realized what did that help? was it going to bring pregnancy back? No. You have storms in life for correction and storms in life to guide. Chamber are he's got a plan we just don't understand. I know that doesn't take the pain away, but I find peace in that. My sister in law lost two babies. When she finally had a healthy girl she couldn't imagine having a different baby. Yes she still missed the ones she lost but the love she has for her baby now is amazing and she wouldn't be here had her mom not experienced loss. Its ok to be sad and even angry, God never said you had to be happy ALL the time. Content, yes but not for his sake for yours so you have peace. We're made in his image and likeness anger is a valid and ok emotion. I know it seems like the hardest thing but get alone with him, pray, cry, yell and get those feelings out. You'll feel better. I was so angry for a couple weeks when I finally let it out it was a weight gone.
Posted on CafeMom Mobile
Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)