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Am I right to be annoyed??

Posted by on Mar. 2, 2011 at 12:26 PM
  • 4 Replies

I just had a miscarriage on Friday. We had been trying for months for our 2nd child, and were completely devastated when we lost the baby. It has been a rough road, and what sucks is that we had just finished telling everyone I was pregnant. So, now pretty much all my family and close friends know I've had a miscarriage. Now...we have had to deal with some pretty inconsiderate people during this whole process - hospital staff, etc. (one nurse who told me the news that I had, in fact, miscarried heard my son in the background and said, "well I hear you have another baby in the it really doesn't matter." um. wtf.) Anyway I feel like I can add one of my friends to the inconsiderate mix...

I told this friend I had a miscarriage, but she is pregnant right now, and I assured her that I was super excited for her and very happy for her. I didn't want her to think she couldnt talk about her new baby or anything just because of my loss.

Well then she starts going off the other day about how "heartbroken" she is that she has to have her baby in a hospital where she might get pressured into an epidural or a csection. she just was going on and on and on about how much her life sucks and how MISERABLE she is with everything in her life. Um..guess what...the hospital crap really doesn't matter, because guess what you get to have at the end of all that?? A HAPPY HEALTHY BABY!! I just felt like it was really inconsiderate. I don't mind talking about your pregnancy or your baby...but can we take the word "miserable" or "Heartbroken" out of your vocabulary when you are referring to your wonderful blessing of a healthy pregnancy?? I just was I right to be annoyed at her? I feel like a bitch :(

by on Mar. 2, 2011 at 12:26 PM
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by on Mar. 2, 2011 at 12:40 PM

I personally would be annoyed too. Some people are very passionate about wanting home births though, and she probably doesn't even realize that what she is saying could be taken this way.
So very sorry for your loss, we're here for you!

by on Mar. 2, 2011 at 1:42 PM

I don't know....while I do understand where you are coming from completely....I also understand how traumatic a hospital birth can be.

I HATE that no matter how many pregnancies I have in the future (miscarried almost 2 months ago and still haven't been able to get pregnant again) I will have to have the baby in the hospital because of a bleeding disorder.

I almost died during my first birth because of medical interventions that caused me to hemorrage and need 2 blood transfusion.

A birth really can affect women for a life time and I think all women have a right to express their feelings about emotional issues that do occur with certain births. Honestly she probably has NO IDEA that the stress she's dealing with over a hospital birth can be construde as painful to another.


I'm a FULL TERM BREASTFEEDING, Extended Rear Facing, Using the Infant Car Seat PROPERLY, Pro-Life, FAM Charting, CONSERVATIVE, Mommy to Mia 3, Dason 1 and an Angel Baby who left for heaven 1-6-11.

Owner of the education group Breastfeeding Moms Against Formula (other than for medical reasons).

by on Mar. 2, 2011 at 2:25 PM

You have the right to feel how you feel.  After my m/c had to ask one of the ladies I work for not to discuss her pregnancy in front of me at all!  I'm sorry for your loss!

by on Mar. 3, 2011 at 1:42 PM

 I would be annoyed too. So sorry for your loss. (((HUGS)))

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