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I can't do this anymore...waiting, waiting, waiting!!

Posted by on May. 21, 2011 at 4:24 PM
  • 11 Replies

For those of you who waited for a natural MC to happen, how did you keep your sanity? I just totally yelled at my kids, I am so stressed and they are acting out because of it.  It's distroying our normally, peaceful household!! DH is away at training for 3months, left 2days ago, so we are all adjusting to that as well.  I really don't want a d&c but think I might have to break down and request one so we can all move on with our summer and so I can be a good mom while dad is away at training.  I just want this all behind me!!!!!!! I am so stressed I don't even have an appitite or motivation to do basic household chores, like laundry or cooking or cleaning.  Luckily, I guess, I knew there was something not right with this pregnancy from the begaining and started the grieving process almost immidiatly after I got the positive pregnancy test, I just knew in my heart it was not going to end well.  So I am ok with that but I am so frustrated with my body, that it won't let this pregnancy go!! I'm terrified that if I have a d&c I will be one of the few that has complications and will ruin my chances of having more kids.  

I am a proud Army wife and college educated SAHM who believes in: co -sleeping, non CIO, baby wearing, EBFing until self weaning, delayed solids, cloth diapering and vaxing on schedule....I AM AN ATTACHED PARENT!!

by on May. 21, 2011 at 4:24 PM
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Replies (1-10):
mckennamcs_mom
by on May. 21, 2011 at 4:55 PM

I totally understand how you feel. If it was early, most dr's will advice to wait it out if it poses no medical threat. It sucks, and its heartwrenching. My last one, I had to wait almost a week before my body took over. Its rough, and I am so sorry that you are having to go through this too. Was this your first miscarriage?

spiritedmama
by on May. 21, 2011 at 4:59 PM

yes, this is my first M/C after two healthy pregnancies.  I am very early, only about 8weeks and my ultra sound only measured about 5 weeks, if that.  The whole idea of this happening when I am alone with the kids (which is 99% of the time) scares me to death since I don't know what to expect.  To top it all off, I have a sick dog now and a bee hive in my attic and the check engine light on my van just came on today!! Not sure how much more stress I can take before I crack!!!! 

cali_angel_girl
by Amy on May. 21, 2011 at 5:43 PM

Sorry I don't have any advice because my m/c was only partly natural because long story short some of the tissue passed on it's own but then I started bleeding really heavy and my body couldn't handle it so I ended up in the ER and they got the rest of the tissue out.  But I just wanted to send tons of hugs your way and I am sorry you have so much on your plate right now ((hugs))

Zayah5
by on May. 21, 2011 at 6:12 PM

Sorry, I wish that I could say I handled it well, but I didnt. I had to wait 14days (4/27-5/11) of hell before the inevitable. I had the same feeling, a few weeks after finding out I was pregnant, my baby "hum" as I call it, just quit. I didnt have any MC symptoms but lied and begged an ultrasound anyway.  Baby was just a day or two behind edd, size wise and no heartbeat detected, problem was an enlarged yoke saq. (There was also another bloated ovum as well)

Like you I am alone with the kids most of the time, (DH works out of town). I was snapping pretty much at the dumbest stuff. (my poor kidos)

Ok SO what I did: First know, Im not big on meds for myself, (and usually end up not taking most of what the drs. prescribe) but after I couldn't function without yelling at kids (and anything else that moved), and fearing to leave the house because at odd moments I would just choke and have to run to my room so my sobbing wouldn't scare the kids.  I did take Alprazolam a generic for Xanax. It was seriously FREAKY  how well it worked (on me). I am able to function at almost normal with in an hr after taking it. (more kide 20mins when I was taking it every 6-7hrs.)

Ive mostly stopped taking it now, unless I have things I have to get done and cant have a breakdown making getting in the way.  (like shopping, and I have still been taking it for playgroup because I know I have to be around babies, etc.)

Sorry you are having to go through with all this.

hopefulloflife
by on May. 21, 2011 at 6:50 PM

I TOTALLY understand how you feel. I just wanted to put out a hand to you and remind you to keep your head up. I found out that I had been mislead to believe everything was fine when in fact my baby had passed 6wks before. I was 12 weeks along and devistated. They told me I could wait a week or so but then I would have to have a D&C or run the risk of infection. I wanted to do it the natural way and tried with my might to be strong but delaying the enevitable and still feeling like I was pregnant was the hardest thing ever. I would recommend to go ahead and have the D&C. It was not a big deal physically and I got right back to my normal life after a couple days. I felt alot better afterwards and did not regret it. If you want to read my full story its entitled "my dr and hosp betrayed me... do i have a case? my mc story" and was posted today. I would appreciate your imput. Thanks.

Rachelle11503
by on May. 21, 2011 at 6:53 PM

I'm so sorry, I totally understand. Mine were both long 2 1/2 weeks for the first and then 5 1/2 weeks for the second. Somedays I would just try to focus on other things, it's hard though. I hope it's over for you soon. HUGS

spiritedmama
by on May. 21, 2011 at 8:59 PM

Thank you, I appreciate your honesty.  I don't want to sound totally distrubed but I am kind of excited to call on Monday and schedule for Friday (that's the soonest i could get a baby sitter for the kids). It's nice to have an end in sight, my heart is telling me that is what I need to start healing and mostly to enjoy my kids this summer.  That will also be 2 weeks exactly and I feel like with that I can say I gave it the best shot I could at letting my body take care of it naturally.  

Quoting hopefulloflife:

I TOTALLY understand how you feel. I just wanted to put out a hand to you and remind you to keep your head up. I found out that I had been mislead to believe everything was fine when in fact my baby had passed 6wks before. I was 12 weeks along and devistated. They told me I could wait a week or so but then I would have to have a D&C or run the risk of infection. I wanted to do it the natural way and tried with my might to be strong but delaying the enevitable and still feeling like I was pregnant was the hardest thing ever. I would recommend to go ahead and have the D&C. It was not a big deal physically and I got right back to my normal life after a couple days. I felt alot better afterwards and did not regret it. If you want to read my full story its entitled "my dr and hosp betrayed me... do i have a case? my mc story" and was posted today. I would appreciate your imput. Thanks.


I am a proud Army wife and college educated SAHM who believes in: co -sleeping, non CIO, baby wearing, EBFing until self weaning, delayed solids, cloth diapering and vaxing on schedule....I AM AN ATTACHED PARENT!!

dream-catcher
by on May. 22, 2011 at 2:15 AM

There's nothing disturbed about wanting a terrible experience over as soon as possible. <3 Again, I'm so sorry you're going through this and it's been such a horrible and cruel waiting game for you. There's no shame in wanting or desiring a D&C. ~hugs~

mckennamcs_mom
by on May. 22, 2011 at 4:08 AM

You can expect heavy cramping and bleeding. It feels like labor pains, because thats pretty much what it is. But not quite as severe. You can go to the ER when it starts and they can help. You will bleed for about two weeks or so, that can vary from person to person. You will get through it. You may want to have a friend on stand-by who can help you with the kids for a few days. The cramps come first. So they are kinda like a warning sign.

Quoting spiritedmama:

yes, this is my first M/C after two healthy pregnancies.  I am very early, only about 8weeks and my ultra sound only measured about 5 weeks, if that.  The whole idea of this happening when I am alone with the kids (which is 99% of the time) scares me to death since I don't know what to expect.  To top it all off, I have a sick dog now and a bee hive in my attic and the check engine light on my van just came on today!! Not sure how much more stress I can take before I crack!!!! 



mokteacher
by on May. 22, 2011 at 8:06 AM

I am so sorry.  I couldn't wait it out and since I was 10 weeks and thought I was 13, my doctor recommended a d & c since my body hadn't registered the loss for 3 weeks.  being further along, I had to have the d & c.  I really felt much better afterwards and was able to move on.  I had no complications, hardly any bleeding, and my doctor told me we could ttc after next period.  If we would have waited for my body, probably would have taken much longer.  I'm sorry you are going through this.  I'll be thinking of you.

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