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dont know what to do

Posted by on Jul. 8, 2011 at 9:52 AM
  • 12 Replies
So its been a week since I had my miscarriage. Some days I'm good and other days I'm not. I was talking to my dh the other night trying to explain to him what I'm feeling. I think I just made myself sound crazy to him because I know he doesn't quiet know or understand what I'm going through. I was telling him that I'm trying to get back to "normal". Like this week I started cooking again even though I didn't want to. Or I took my girls outside one morning like I used to before it got too hot, even thought my body was saying no. I was telling him that I have these feelings like telling me its not time to get back to my "normal routine". Something in my mind or my body is saying its not time yet.
Of course he didn't understand what I was saying. Last Thursday and Friday I couldn't eat. My body was telling me don't eat, so I had no appetite. I don't know how to really explain it and I hope I'm not sounding crazy lol. Please somebody tell me you experienced the same or similar!?
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by on Jul. 8, 2011 at 9:52 AM
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Replies (1-10):
AlphaTango11
by on Jul. 8, 2011 at 11:35 AM

I know how you are feeling. I didn't feel like eating or doing anything normal for two weeks after my miscarriage. My husband works overseas, and he flew home for a week following my D&C to help out. Having him home was great, but it was so hard because I felt like I needed to convince him that I was going to be ok when he left again even though I felt like falling apart all the time. We went out for a date night about a week after the D&C and I kept telling him the whole time that I felt like I was a big "faker"....like I was a 'faker' for eating dinner like a normal person, a 'faker' for drinking a beer like a normal person or going to see a movie. I just felt like a robot of a person that was going through the motions. Eventually, these feelings subsided, and now that I am 6 weeks post D&C I feel a little bit more like my normal self. My appetite is somewhat back, and I have resumed normal activity again. It just takes time and you do have to keep trying. I'm so sorry for your loss. ((hugs))

cali_angel_girl
by Amy on Jul. 8, 2011 at 11:37 AM

((hugs)) i'm sorry for your loss and no you don't sound crazy at all hun because I had feelings like that after my m/c to like I didn't want to do anything but I pretty much had to force myself to because of my dh's work schedule.  I think it's totally normal though because sometimes it can take awhile for us to heal emotionally and physically after a loss.

babyk21
by on Jul. 8, 2011 at 11:40 AM
Thanks! I do feel like I am just forcing myself to do everything. Like I said I just get this feeling like something isn't right or I shouldn't be doing this or that. I somewhat got my appetite back last Saturday, although sometimes I feel like I shouldn't even eat :(
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purplepride80
by on Jul. 8, 2011 at 11:42 AM
I was similar. I didn't eat for a couple of weeks. I lost 5lbs in the process. I also felt like I was faking life. What your feeling is normal. It will get easier. Take care of yourself.
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cali_angel_girl
by Amy on Jul. 8, 2011 at 11:42 AM

((hugs)) just give yourself some time and you'll eventually get back to feeling normal

Quoting babyk21:

Thanks! I do feel like I am just forcing myself to do everything. Like I said I just get this feeling like something isn't right or I shouldn't be doing this or that. I somewhat got my appetite back last Saturday, although sometimes I feel like I shouldn't even eat :(


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Rachelle11503
by on Jul. 8, 2011 at 12:12 PM

I understand. I went through similar feelings as well. I wanted to get back into that normal routine, but I pushed aside my grieving and it hit me ten fold. You are right to follow your gut and your own grieving process. You can't rush it.
I'm so sorry for your loss, and just know we are all here for you!

Kat2619
by on Jul. 8, 2011 at 12:13 PM

It takes time for not just your body to heal, but also your heart and your soul. Right now you're hurt, sad, depressed, angry etc...so no, you can't be expected to be normal. it's not going to happen overnight either, it will take time. The week following my miscarriage, i also couldn't eat (and god know i love to eat lol) and i felt like i was just going through the motion, not really being a participant in my own life, i was merely just acting in it but that's it. Fr me it took about 2-3 weeks to be able to start functioning normally again, and even then, some days are better than others. Quite honestly, for me, what helped was getting my period again. Never thought i'd be that excited about a freaking period!!! lol But getting my period helped me think about the future and trying to maybe get pregnant again, although i'm realistic and i know it might not happen or a while....but it gives me something to look forward to. I'm hoping you soon see the light at the end of the tunnel, but be patient with yourself....it takes time.

babyk21
by on Jul. 8, 2011 at 1:05 PM

i just wish that i could some how put this aside. i really dont want to think about it anymore or talk about it, but i know thats part of the healing process. how long after did you get your period? i found myself the other day wishing for my period and then i thought what was wrong with me lol

Quoting Kat2619:

It takes time for not just your body to heal, but also your heart and your soul. Right now you're hurt, sad, depressed, angry etc...so no, you can't be expected to be normal. it's not going to happen overnight either, it will take time. The week following my miscarriage, i also couldn't eat (and god know i love to eat lol) and i felt like i was just going through the motion, not really being a participant in my own life, i was merely just acting in it but that's it. Fr me it took about 2-3 weeks to be able to start functioning normally again, and even then, some days are better than others. Quite honestly, for me, what helped was getting my period again. Never thought i'd be that excited about a freaking period!!! lol But getting my period helped me think about the future and trying to maybe get pregnant again, although i'm realistic and i know it might not happen or a while....but it gives me something to look forward to. I'm hoping you soon see the light at the end of the tunnel, but be patient with yourself....it takes time.


cali_angel_girl
by Amy on Jul. 8, 2011 at 1:26 PM

On average it can take 4 to 6 wks after a loss for your period to show back up.  Mine came back after about 4

Quoting babyk21:

i just wish that i could some how put this aside. i really dont want to think about it anymore or talk about it, but i know thats part of the healing process. how long after did you get your period? i found myself the other day wishing for my period and then i thought what was wrong with me lol

Quoting Kat2619:

It takes time for not just your body to heal, but also your heart and your soul. Right now you're hurt, sad, depressed, angry etc...so no, you can't be expected to be normal. it's not going to happen overnight either, it will take time. The week following my miscarriage, i also couldn't eat (and god know i love to eat lol) and i felt like i was just going through the motion, not really being a participant in my own life, i was merely just acting in it but that's it. Fr me it took about 2-3 weeks to be able to start functioning normally again, and even then, some days are better than others. Quite honestly, for me, what helped was getting my period again. Never thought i'd be that excited about a freaking period!!! lol But getting my period helped me think about the future and trying to maybe get pregnant again, although i'm realistic and i know it might not happen or a while....but it gives me something to look forward to. I'm hoping you soon see the light at the end of the tunnel, but be patient with yourself....it takes time.



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tiptoe6
by on Jul. 8, 2011 at 3:56 PM

Everyone mourns, and everyone mourns differently.  I did not have trouble eating, but I have some trouble sleeping.  You just got to give yourself a break and let yourself mourn this is normal.  I to had to get up every morning and start my day, some days are easier to get up then others, I have a 3 year old and 14 year old stepson at home along with a new puppy, so I had to do what needed to be done while my husband was at work.  Just be patient with yourself and I pray that you have a supporting husband who understand this is just you mourning.  Hang in there.

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