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Is feeling like this normal or am I just a bad person?

Posted by on Aug. 17, 2011 at 3:29 PM
  • 12 Replies

Ever since I lost my baby and I hear that someone else had a misscarriage, I cant say I feel happy but somehow "satisfied". Is that normal? am I alone on this?

by on Aug. 17, 2011 at 3:29 PM
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Replies (1-10):
newmom2be08
by on Aug. 17, 2011 at 3:53 PM

It's always comforting to know that we are not the only ones that have suffered a miscarriage.  That doesn't make you a bad person at all.  It just makes you realize that miscarriages are quite common and that you are not alone.  Hugs to you! 

Cheyenne0324
by on Aug. 17, 2011 at 4:13 PM

 That does not make you a bad person! Like newmom2be08 said, it's just you realizing that you are not alone.

mommyofnoah208
by on Aug. 17, 2011 at 5:01 PM

 Ya I think it is just you knowing that your not a lone and that others loose their babies as well

busyizzybsmom
by Gold Member on Aug. 17, 2011 at 5:18 PM
I think it's comforting, not because someone's baby died (which would be bad, obviously), but because you are reassured that you're not alone.
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genabella
by on Aug. 17, 2011 at 5:32 PM

I completely understand and it's not as much "satisfaction" but a sense that you're not alone and not the only one whose had to endure such pain. Honestly speaking, it's difficult to see other women pregnant or with their babies b/c you immediately start to wonder "Why me?" and sometimes "What did I do?" But when you find that someone else had been through the same, you no longer feel like the odd man out... sentenced to endure something so awful for no reason.. and all alone. It's absolutely normal and just a part of the many feelings that you experience when grieving. Just know that it DOES get easier. HUGS!

karla85
by on Aug. 17, 2011 at 6:16 PM
Thank you so much for your support, I don't feel like a monster anymore.



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xoNIKKIox
by on Aug. 17, 2011 at 8:36 PM

I second this!

You are absolutely NOT a bad person or a monster. I think, if more people knew how (sadly) common miscarriage is women wouldn't feel as isolated as we do. And we wouldn't feel so "abnormal" or "defective" (my words and sentiments after my loss). Knowing others share our experiences makes us feel less isolated and helps remind us that we are neither alone or to blame.

Take care. Sending lots of hugs your way.

Quoting genabella:

I completely understand and it's not as much "satisfaction" but a sense that you're not alone and not the only one whose had to endure such pain. Honestly speaking, it's difficult to see other women pregnant or with their babies b/c you immediately start to wonder "Why me?" and sometimes "What did I do?" But when you find that someone else had been through the same, you no longer feel like the odd man out... sentenced to endure something so awful for no reason.. and all alone. It's absolutely normal and just a part of the many feelings that you experience when grieving. Just know that it DOES get easier. HUGS!


lunabella79
by on Aug. 17, 2011 at 8:45 PM

 OK, this is definitely going to sound horrible, but I'm going to say that we're just all normal. In the group of expectant moms that I was in, there was another woman who had a MC right after me, for a moment I just thought to myself, "Well at least I'm not the only one!" I honestly felt horrible just after thinking it, specially since she had more MC than I can count on my hand. I really do feel bad for her. Now luckily I haven't had anyone close to me lately that has MCd, but I just think it's our human nature and part of our grieving/healing process. You are not awful!

cali_angel_girl
by Amy on Aug. 17, 2011 at 10:28 PM

I agree

Quoting newmom2be08:

It's always comforting to know that we are not the only ones that have suffered a miscarriage.  That doesn't make you a bad person at all.  It just makes you realize that miscarriages are quite common and that you are not alone.  Hugs to you! 


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karla85
by on Aug. 17, 2011 at 10:46 PM

thank you

Thank you all for your responses and support. One day all pain will go away and we will all be healed.

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