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when to give up!!!

Posted by on Aug. 19, 2011 at 9:27 PM
  • 7 Replies

My baby has only been gone for 10 days and my boyfriend spends hours talking to and texting other girls. He says it is only as friends,,but why does he not want to be with me. It was his baby too and he acts like it is no big deal. His life is just wonderful cause he has so many women who want him and they actually chat with him more than I do! I am thinking it is time to just give up. I always seem to be the good one. I don't cheat and I sure would not be chatting with hundreds of other men when I just lost my baby with my boyfriend. He gets pissed off at me,,and he says I just should trust him!

by on Aug. 19, 2011 at 9:27 PM
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Replies (1-7):
maddynrysmama
by on Aug. 19, 2011 at 9:43 PM
i lost my baby on monday its only been 5 days and my bf is showing no emotion at all im so depressed and stressed out and he tells me just to chill and i wanna try again in 6 months and he tells me just to chill and wait idk what to do i cant get it out of my head and i think the only way i will be able to is when i get prego again ive had 2 other miscarriages but didnt know that i was prego so it wasnt as painful but i had knowb i was prego for 5 weeks :( i need addvice :(
Simplysweet43
by on Aug. 19, 2011 at 9:49 PM

So sorry for your loss. Yeah my boyfriend also shows no emotion what so ever. I actually would love to try again,,but not sure when.l have had one other miscariage and that time I was only six weeks along,,and it happend right after my first dr. appt. Problem was with this baby I saw him when he came out and I held him and he was father along,,and I just can't get over it. I wish there was something that could just make the pain go away. I actually wish guys could understand more.

lunabella79
by on Aug. 19, 2011 at 9:50 PM

 I am so sorry that you're having problems with your BF, specially during such a difficult time for you. I don't know you, and I definitely don't know your BF, so I can't really give the greates advice from just reading a couple of posts. But there are a few things that you may want to think about before  giving up or not giving up.

Before TTC again, is this a stable relationship that you're in? Are you both 100% sure that you want a child (with each other)? If you are both not "completely into" the idea of having a baby, maybe it's just not the right time. Or maybe it just means that you guys really need to talk things through.

Are you sure this is the man that you want to be with? You are a strong woman who deserves the best, and the best means a man that will be there for you, supporting you, guiding you, and sympathizing with you. Your SO should make you feel like you are the only one and the perfect one, no matter what. Maybe right now this is his way of grieving the loss of his baby. Maybe chatting with these "friends" is just a way of putting up a wall, like he can't get hurt. But if it's something that has always gone on and he can't understand why you feel hurt, it's probably time for a serious talk.

Anyway, whatever you decide to do, don't make a decision full of emotions. Clear your head, search with your heart and mind, look inside of yourself and see what you really need and want, sometimes the hardest decisions are some that we don't want to admit to ourselves, but sometimes the right path has been clear all along and it just takes a little self reflection to find it.

Good luck and we're here for you!!!

-Tricia (32) DH Andrew (33), DS Damian (7), DS "Litle" Andrew (5) and 2 angel babies


cali_angel_girl
by Amy on Aug. 19, 2011 at 10:14 PM

I think she said it pretty good :)

Quoting lunabella79:

 I am so sorry that you're having problems with your BF, specially during such a difficult time for you. I don't know you, and I definitely don't know your BF, so I can't really give the greates advice from just reading a couple of posts. But there are a few things that you may want to think about before  giving up or not giving up.

Before TTC again, is this a stable relationship that you're in? Are you both 100% sure that you want a child (with each other)? If you are both not "completely into" the idea of having a baby, maybe it's just not the right time. Or maybe it just means that you guys really need to talk things through.

Are you sure this is the man that you want to be with? You are a strong woman who deserves the best, and the best means a man that will be there for you, supporting you, guiding you, and sympathizing with you. Your SO should make you feel like you are the only one and the perfect one, no matter what. Maybe right now this is his way of grieving the loss of his baby. Maybe chatting with these "friends" is just a way of putting up a wall, like he can't get hurt. But if it's something that has always gone on and he can't understand why you feel hurt, it's probably time for a serious talk.

Anyway, whatever you decide to do, don't make a decision full of emotions. Clear your head, search with your heart and mind, look inside of yourself and see what you really need and want, sometimes the hardest decisions are some that we don't want to admit to ourselves, but sometimes the right path has been clear all along and it just takes a little self reflection to find it.

Good luck and we're here for you!!!


Lilypie Third Birthday tickersDaisypath Anniversary tickers
mommyofnoah208
by on Aug. 19, 2011 at 11:16 PM
Agreed! We are here to support you, your loss is still very fresh, things will feel better.. Give it time...i really think you need to be certain and get in a better relationship position before trying again.,

Quoting lunabella79:

 I am so sorry that you're having problems with your BF, specially during such a difficult time for you. I don't know you, and I definitely don't know your BF, so I can't really give the greates advice from just reading a couple of posts. But there are a few things that you may want to think about before  giving up or not giving up.


Before TTC again, is this a stable relationship that you're in? Are you both 100% sure that you want a child (with each other)? If you are both not "completely into" the idea of having a baby, maybe it's just not the right time. Or maybe it just means that you guys really need to talk things through.


Are you sure this is the man that you want to be with? You are a strong woman who deserves the best, and the best means a man that will be there for you, supporting you, guiding you, and sympathizing with you. Your SO should make you feel like you are the only one and the perfect one, no matter what. Maybe right now this is his way of grieving the loss of his baby. Maybe chatting with these "friends" is just a way of putting up a wall, like he can't get hurt. But if it's something that has always gone on and he can't understand why you feel hurt, it's probably time for a serious talk.


Anyway, whatever you decide to do, don't make a decision full of emotions. Clear your head, search with your heart and mind, look inside of yourself and see what you really need and want, sometimes the hardest decisions are some that we don't want to admit to ourselves, but sometimes the right path has been clear all along and it just takes a little self reflection to find it.


Good luck and we're here for you!!!

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xoNIKKIox
by on Aug. 19, 2011 at 11:26 PM

lunabella asked some important questions and made some excellent points in her reply. You need to take the time to reflect and decide whether you are upset and thus feeling that this isn't a solid relationship or if this tragedy is casting a spotlight on some serious flaws in your replationship.

Take care. I'm keeping you in my thoughts and prayers.

busyizzybsmom
by Gold Member on Aug. 19, 2011 at 11:52 PM

Yep, I second (or fifth? ;) ) what Lunabella said! The biggest thing being making sure that whenever you do decide to TTC again, make sure you are both in it 100%. And try to wait a bit until you're head is a little more clear before making amy major life changes...goodness knows we're all a little irrational (for good reason) after our miscarriages. I especially hope you can find some good support in your circle of friends - thse ladies online are a huge blessing, but having people you can actually sit down with and cry with also really really helps.

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