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This just can't be happening (kinda long and and a little OT)

Posted by on Sep. 14, 2011 at 8:38 AM
  • 7 Replies

The first week of August (not too long after finding out I was pregnant), my dad was hospitalized for a week for his heart. Long story short, we found out his heart was in pretty bad shape. One of his valves was leaking, the whole left side of his heart pretty much wasn't working, he had 100% blockage in one of his arteries, he had an irregular heart rhythm, and subsuquently had developed a large blood clot in one of the heart chambers. Because of the clot surgery could not be done right away so he was realeased on very good heart medications and blood thinners and has been following up with his doctor regularly.

I am a nurse an only work 3 days a week, and my mom keeps DS for me on those days. I got to their house yesterday morning a little earlier than usual and when I opened my car day I thought I could hear something. So I walked around to get DS out the car and could hear something again. It was my mom's voice that I could hear from outside. She ran to the back door and told me to come quick. Right away I knew it probably wasn't good and just started screaming to call 911. I walked in and he was on the floor in their bathroom between the toilet and bathtub laying on his left side. I just started screaming "Daddy Daddy" and tried to flip him over so I could start cpr but the way he fell it was just hard for me to get to him. Plus I felt like the strength had been sucked right out of me. I was finally able to pull him a little to where I could flip him over and start cpr but in my heart I knew that he was already gone when I walked in. I have been a nurse for 8 years now and not once have I ever had to use my cpr training on anything else but a cpr dummy. Never in my life could I have imagined that the first time I would ever need to do it on an actual human it would be my dad. Paramedics arrived and they also worked on him but it was too late. I just feel like I am caught in a nightmare and I will wake up any second. I'm definitely not ready any of this. 

Also, on top of all of this, I started having bleeding again Monday afternoon. It will be a month in 5 days since I found out I was having a miscarraige. I thought after I would have had the d & c I could have started my healing process, but then I got the pathology results, then I had to take cytotec, and now I'm bleeding again. Anyway...I just have to put this aside for the moment.

So please keep my family in your prayers. We definitely need them right now. Rest peacefully daddy. I will miss you terribly.

by on Sep. 14, 2011 at 8:38 AM
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Replies (1-7):
cindy82
by on Sep. 14, 2011 at 9:49 AM
Oh honey I'm so sorry. I can't imagine how u must feel. I will pray for peace for your family. ((((hugs))))
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Irene1923
by Tina on Sep. 14, 2011 at 10:03 AM

I am so very sorry.  :(  I can't imagine what you are going through.  Thoughts and prayers sent your way.  *Hugs*

Kat2619
by on Sep. 14, 2011 at 10:22 AM

i'm so sorry to hear this. Your are in my prayers. I hope you and your mom can find strength to get through this otgether and can lean on each other for comfort when needed. 

Your dad is now an angel taking care of your lost angel.

Again, i'm so sorry :(

Kat.

mommyofnoah208
by on Sep. 14, 2011 at 10:36 AM

 So very sorry for the loss of your father :( Keeping your family in my thoughts and prayers during this time

busyizzybsmom
by Gold Member on Sep. 14, 2011 at 10:38 AM
I'm so sorry. :( I'll be praying for you!
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babaysmama
by on Sep. 14, 2011 at 1:47 PM

im so sorri for everything ur going thro.... my thoughts and prayers go out to u and ur family 

cali_angel_girl
by Amy on Sep. 14, 2011 at 6:09 PM

((hugs)) i'm so sorry for the loss of your father hun.  You and your family will be in my thoughts.

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