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Some days are just hard....

Posted by on Sep. 14, 2011 at 9:20 AM
  • 10 Replies

I had been doing really well the last couple of weeks but last night, it was really hard for me.  I don't know why, but I just missed being pregnant and my little one so badly.  :(  It just hurt all over again like it did those first few days.  I just wanted everything to be like it was before.  And even though I know things will work out for us, I was angry again about what had happened.  This last year has been one struggle after another.  It seems like every time something starts to go right, it all falls apart again.  The only truly good thing in the last year that has happened for us was getting married last October.  I know I am blessed, that even despite the struggles, I have a good life.  And most of the time I am happy and content.  But I just want something to go right for once....for things to work out for us.  I wouldn't trade my life nor the people in it for anything, but I am tired of tripping over the obstacles that seem to litter our path.  I was very much looking forward to a trip to see my BFF at the end of the month (I could use the time to clear my head), but my DH's car has decided it no longer wants to run, so we are down to one car and I've had to cancel my trip.  I think that was just one last thing for me and last night, I just cried and let it all out.  Feeling better this morning, but I know the road to being truly okay is a lot longer than I thought. 

I know I shouldn't complain,  especially when others have a far harder life and I know I am a lucky person, but I just needed to vent and get some of the frustration out.  Does anyone have any inspirational quotes, scriptures, poems, etc they would like to share?   A little positive thinking and motivation goes a long way sometimes.

by on Sep. 14, 2011 at 9:20 AM
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Replies (1-10):
mommyofnoah208
by on Sep. 14, 2011 at 10:47 AM

 I'm sorry you are having a hard time :( grieving really can be an up and down battle. I hope that things start to get better for you all around and you start to have more better days soon. After my loss last year it seemed liked everything that could go wrong was going wrong, it was very difficult to deal with, from big expensive things to little things.  THinking of you and we are all here for you.

marsh48433
by Lisa, Michigan mom on Sep. 14, 2011 at 10:56 AM

Don't beat yourself up too much, you have the right to feel as you do!  We all have differences in our lives, some we create, some we do not but that's life.  I feel as you do sometimes......we've been down on our luck for the last 5-6 years, really since my husband lost his nice salary job due to the economy.  It's been one struggle after another but I see some of these horror stories on the news and realize that we are just fine and we will be fine as long as we have our family & each other, that's truly what's important!  Keep your chin up, things will get better........

Irene1923
by Tina on Sep. 14, 2011 at 10:59 AM

Thanks.  It kinda went down hill for us when I lost my job right before our wedding and was unemployed for nearly a year.  But yes, I do agree that as long as I have my family and my DH, things will always be okay.  :)  Sometimes though, it's hard to see the rainbow through the rain.  But I believe it is there....

Quoting marsh48433:

Don't beat yourself up too much, you have the right to feel as you do!  We all have differences in our lives, some we create, some we do not but that's life.  I feel as you do sometimes......we've been down on our luck for the last 5-6 years, really since my husband lost his nice salary job due to the economy.  It's been one struggle after another but I see some of these horror stories on the news and realize that we are just fine and we will be fine as long as we have our family & each other, that's truly what's important!  Keep your chin up, things will get better........


Irene1923
by Tina on Sep. 14, 2011 at 11:03 AM

Thank you.  I try to always be positive but some days are harder than others.  I have never been one to share my emotions and have always put on the "happy face" no matter what, so it has been hard learning that it is okay to be sad....and that I don't have to be okay. 

Quoting mommyofnoah208:

 I'm sorry you are having a hard time :( grieving really can be an up and down battle. I hope that things start to get better for you all around and you start to have more better days soon. After my loss last year it seemed liked everything that could go wrong was going wrong, it was very difficult to deal with, from big expensive things to little things.  THinking of you and we are all here for you.


MommaBoop922
by on Sep. 14, 2011 at 11:41 AM

Im so sorry you are going through all of this.  I know how hard it can be.  My husband and I were struggling with so much when we had our second loss which was our post deployment baby we had been working so hard to have.  We just  found out his mother had Stage 3 Cancer, my father was struggling financially which was hard for us to watch and then on our own front we were dealing with our loss, the decision to stay in FL or move out, my dh was no longer employed and once I graduated we were going to lose our only source of money.  

Ultimately we decided to move back to MD where we met and when we did we had no job, enough money to get us to the new year (it was October) and eachother (and our dog).  Well January came and went and we were a bit scared but then everything fell into place like the pieces of a puzzle.  He got a job, I got into another college, we found a place to live, and a few weeks later I found out I was pregnant with my daughter (they told me that it would take at least a year and it had only been three months).   Its cliche but when it rains it pours and you can only continue to hope and push forward and life will fall into place for you.  When I was struggling I was told to read the story of Jobe in the bible and it did help.  Hang in there and I hope things turn around for you soon.  

((HUGS)) you are in my thoughts and prayers and Im here to talk if you need it!  

newmom2be08
by on Sep. 14, 2011 at 12:33 PM

It is so hard in the beginning when you lose your little one.  I didn't think I would ever feel normal again, but 10 months later, it still hurts, but not in the same way it did in the beginning.  Here is a great scripture that helps me through hard times:

For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.   Jeremiah 29:11

busyizzybsmom
by Gold Member on Sep. 14, 2011 at 1:01 PM

I don't know if this is what you're looking for, but something that really helped me was reading the blog of a friend who has lost 7 babies (!). She writes from a distinctly Christian perspective, so if you don't agree with that it probably won't help you much. I'd been following her for a few years before I miscarried, so it was great to have her example for me to follow when we lost our first this summer. Her blog is at joyfuldomesticity.com . She has one living son and is due in December with baby #9. This particular post (http://joyfuldomesticity.com/?p=1215) was very helpful to me. Blessings to you. :)

MyLilAngel1205
by on Sep. 14, 2011 at 1:06 PM

"SOmeday everything will make perfect sense. So for now, laugh at the confusion, smile through the tears and keep reminding yourself that everything happens for a reason" It's a good quote I think......I am trying to live by it, even though it's hard.....I lost mine in May and still have not recovered.....mentally.....And just like You I should feel lucky and happy because I have an amazing man by my side, we both have jobs and great place beautifully furnished.....but that one thing I wanted....The Lil Baby.....is gone :( And it kills me everyday. But like people say time heals......sometimes it takes alot of time :( And always remember after Every Storm Comes the Rainbow :) Hang in there ~HUGS~

Irene1923
by Tina on Sep. 15, 2011 at 10:03 AM

Thank you all for your words of encouragment and the qoutes/blog entry.  You are a wondeful group of ladies and I am glad I found this group.  It has helped me tremendously.  Yesterday was a better day.  I am trying to focus on the positive things in my life and not worry about the negative.  I beleive things will work out for us and I am going to simply take it one day at a time, focus on being happy today, and let tomorrow come as it will.   I guess I just feel incomplete at the moment - like something is missing in my life (which it is).  My DH is wonderful and very supportive, but he just doesn't quite understand that it doesn't matter that we will try again, I wanted this little angel.  And that emptiness is what is so sad.

Ashleysnicholas
by Ashley on Sep. 15, 2011 at 11:56 AM

I am so sorry you are struggling right now. There is no appropriate way or timeline for grief (oh how I wish that were true). I completely understand what you mean though. One minute, I will be completely fine and the next minute overwhelmed with grief. I think for the most part that is normal.

I hope that things start lining up for you better. You aren't complaining! and you have a right to be hurt and feel what you are feeling.

Please know that we understand. Someone said on these boards that a nurse told her that only special people are chosen to be the parents of angels. That meant alot to me.

Songs I like are Glory Baby, From the Inside Out, and Clinging to the Cross.

I hope you feel better soon

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