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I hate feeling like this

Posted by on Sep. 14, 2011 at 9:32 AM
  • 5 Replies
Last month I found out I was pregnant and was ecstatic! My boyfriend and I have 3 boys between the 2 of us but no kids together! I was so excited with the possibility of having a little girl. I was 4 weeks and 5 days along and due on April 27th. But 3 hours after I found out I started bleeding. I went to the doctor and they called it a "threatened miscarriage" and said there was nothing they could do. I ended up having a miscarriage. The whole situation scared my boyfriend and I so much we decided I need birth control so it didn't happen again. I found out for sure about the miscarriage on August 29th.

I thought I was "over" it. I was feeling back to normal and not so sad anymore. Until yesterday. I found out a good friend of mine is pregnant and due 3 days after I was. I don't want to but I hate her for it! I hate that she gets a baby and I couldn't keep mine. I feel so bad for feeling this way! I know it's not her fault. It's just not fair and I don't know how I'll ever be able to see her again.

Please tell me I'm not alone and this feeling will go away. It's not just her either. I can't think positively for ANY pregnant woman. ;(
by on Sep. 14, 2011 at 9:32 AM
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Replies (1-5):
cindy82
by on Sep. 14, 2011 at 9:42 AM
U are not alone. My friend had a baby one week after I was supposed to. And his 1st birthday is on when my next one would have been born. I just realized that yesterday. All I want to do is cry. Another friend was due a month after I was and kept hers. Even though she is only 20 and has 2 already. Now she is 21 with 3 and can't hardly handle those. So I have a hard time talking to her and it has been a year. Another found out she was having 3 shortly after I lost mine. I haven't spoken to her. I just want one. Good luck to u. Maybe by time she ha the baby u will have come to terms with it and be able to see the baby. (((hugs)))
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Irene1923
by Tina on Sep. 14, 2011 at 10:19 AM

I have a hard time talking with either pregnant women or people with new babies as well.  It is just so hard to see them with something you so desperately want.  I have to fight down the "why her, not me" thoughts each time.  A coworker's wife is due less than two months before I was supposed to be due and it is so hard hearing him talk to other co-workers about his little one.  Only three people knew I was pregnant  at work so they don't know that every time I hear them ask about his baby boy, ultrasounds, the things they've purchased, how big she is getting, etc I want to cry.   And I try to avoid my neighbor who has a three month old because it just hurts to much to see her and the little guy.  It will get easier for you as time goes on and I hope that eventually you'll be able to see your friend (even if it does still hurt) and be okay.  Hugs!

mommyofnoah208
by on Sep. 14, 2011 at 10:39 AM

 I am so sorry for your loss. Those feelings are very normal, it's not that you want something bad to happen to her, you just want to join in that happiness with her. And miss what you lost. And it's always harder when the person is close to you because you have to see it more often and care. It will get easier over time. Thinking of you

newmom2be08
by on Sep. 14, 2011 at 12:38 PM

You are so not alone!  We miscarried last year around Thanksgiving and my SIL was 5 months pregnant at the time.  I had to face her at Thanksgiving and it was soooo hard!  I wanted to be in a room that she wasn't.  I think it's normal to feel that way, especially when a loss is so new.   We are here for you...HUGS! 

MyLilAngel1205
by on Sep. 14, 2011 at 12:43 PM

You are definitely not alone!!!!! I miscarried May 4th and till this very day, I hate all pregnant women, and I hate myself for feeling that way. I don't understand why they can and I couldn't. I know life is unfair and all.....but I just can't grasp this idea and understand WHY ME. It has been over 4 months for me....it was my first pregnancy and I was extremely excited about the baby. People say time heals....unfortunately it hasn't worked for me....at least not yet......I hope You will not suffer this long and You will feel much better soon. People tell me to focus on the good and the positive things in life.....I just can't do it :( You at least have other children....Focus on them.....Be thankful and happy that you experienced the miracle of giving life. And hopefully time will get by and you will feel better. Good luck ~HUGS~

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