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Advice Needed!

Posted by on Sep. 14, 2011 at 2:25 PM
  • 4 Replies

Last week we announced our pregnancy at church and on Sunday we miscarried and now tonight I have to go and face all of those people who are going to ask how the baby is doing, how my appointment that was supposed to be today went, or how I am feeling and I don't know what to say.  I don't want to go but my DH is pretty much insisting. 

To add insult to injury, my "friend" goes to the scame church and she made the rudest most insensitive remark when we got home from the ER on Sunday.  She said "Pregnancy leads to infancy so it was probably best to just nip it in the bud anyways sice you have you hands full with the three kids you already have."  What kind of person much less friend would say something so aweful to a mom who just lost a baby?  My husband confronted her and we haven't heard from her since then so I am not sure what is going on with that.  But regardless I am angry with her because she is supposed to be my best friend and she hasn't been here at all not to be helpful or to talk to or anything.  I have had virtual strangers be nicer and more helpful than she has this week.  I don't know if I am overreacting but I honestly don't know if I will ever consider her my friend again. 

by on Sep. 14, 2011 at 2:25 PM
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Replies (1-4):
cindy82
by on Sep. 14, 2011 at 2:38 PM
I'm sorry. I understand how u feel. I don't think your dh has any right to make u go. I think u should go if u want to. Guys grieve differently and he may be "over " it already. As to your friend she may have been trying but sometimes when it comes to miscarriage people don't know what to say and get foot in mouth syndrome. I think if your friend doesn't say she is sorry and didn't mean it that way than she isn't any kind of friend.
One way to announce the mc without announcing the mc is to have your pastor do a prayer for u and your family in this time of grief with the loss of a child. Then everyone will know without u telling them all over and over again. I'm so sorry for your loss. I had no one when I lost my last two so I understand wanting your friend even just to sit with u while u cry. Good luck and I'm sorry.
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mommyofnoah208
by on Sep. 14, 2011 at 2:44 PM
I'm sorry :( i dont think you should feel like you have to go if you think it would be too hard for you so soon. Hopefully if you do go you will find comfort and suuport their. So sorry your friend said that, i would be mad too.. Its like people just don't think or get it at all. Thinking of you and hoping whatever you decide to do tonight that it isnt too difficult for you
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Bonita.mami
by on Sep. 14, 2011 at 5:14 PM

I wouldn't go. Sorry for what happened, and if my friends make insensitive remarks I call them out. It was very rude, and inconsiderate of her to say that. I hope you will feel better soon. Don't go if you think it will just bring you down, its not an obligation. Best of luck to you.

cali_angel_girl
by Amy on Sep. 14, 2011 at 6:03 PM

I'm sorry for your loss hun ((hugs)) I agree with the other ladies if it would be to hard for you to go then you shouldn't go and your dh really can't force you.

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