Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

Friends who dont get it.....

Posted by on Sep. 14, 2011 at 4:46 PM
  • 9 Replies

My best friend is preg with her 4th baby she is 23 and 2 kids have one dad and 2 have another. We have been best friends since we where 5. She dosnt understand where Im coming from when I vent about wanting a baby or how Im upset about having 2 miscarriages in less then a year. She complains all the time about how she dosnt want this baby she hates being preg and how she wishes she had my uterus so she didnt get preg do easy! Idk what to do nemore. I dont want to lose her as a friend but Idk if I can listen to her complaian about having a girl when she wants a boy and everything else.

by on Sep. 14, 2011 at 4:46 PM
Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Replies (1-9):
by on Sep. 14, 2011 at 5:05 PM

I stopped talking to few friends just because they have been insensitive. If you dont understand the situation that your friend is going though..Try to be supportive like ''Im so sorry'' , ''Hope youre doing better'' and dont say your personal opinion when you dont know what youre talking about. (Youre=To those friends) 

I also feel like I want another baby. Were about to move 5 hrs away, so Ill wait until everythings settled down again. Wish the best of luck to you momma. *Hugs* Sorry you have to deal with that.

by Lisa, Michigan mom on Sep. 14, 2011 at 5:12 PM

Some can be so insensitive!  I am sorry you're having to deal with this.  I forunately didn't have to deal with anything like this.  If anything, my friends that were pregnant pulled away from me, which was said to but they said they felt selfish or insensitive talking about their pregnancy w/me.  I have one that went through a loss like we did two years ago, we got pregnant together this 2nd time and she is due 10/2 but we lost.  I haven't chatted with her much, mainly over facebook but nothing in person.  It's just too hard.  I hope it gets better for you!  Have you tried saying something to her about it?  Maybe just telling her how it makes you feel will make her stop.  HUGS!!

by Amy on Sep. 14, 2011 at 6:03 PM

((hugs)) i'm sorry hun some people can just be so insensitive. 

by on Sep. 14, 2011 at 6:17 PM
I am so sorry she is acting like that, it is very insensitive. Maybe try just writing her a letter explaining that you are in pain and upset about loosing your babies and its hard for you to hear her complain and tell you those things.
Posted on CafeMom Mobile
by on Sep. 14, 2011 at 10:49 PM

Thanks ladies its just really hard she joked that if this baby was a girl I could have it! I didnt know what to say I just walked away.

by on Sep. 15, 2011 at 12:16 AM

Oh wow, i'm sorry.  It really seems like she doesnt understand how you feel.  And how could she?  If she hasnt had a m/c herself, there really is no way for her to know.   It's sad that she's unhappy in her situation, but It would be nice if she was more considerate of who she was complaining too. 

by Gold Member on Sep. 15, 2011 at 12:35 AM

Unfortunately, I just stopped talking to friends like this until that season of life passed. For me it was the friend who kept asking if I was pregnant yet, while knowing full well that we had infertility issues and would be announcing it to the world as soon as we were! I never wanted to answer the phone when she called because I always knew what the first question out of her mouth would be. Now we hang out again because the infertility is under control. Maybe you just have to distance yourself from her for a while?

by on Sep. 15, 2011 at 7:46 AM
I am sorry :( I think sometimes its really hard for people to understand our pain unless they have walked in our shoes, honestly she may not know how this is making you feel, I would say something to her and maybe she will understand and be more sensitive... Its worth a shot and if she still doesn't care then she's really probably not who you thought she was. Good luck mama and sorry you are going through this.
Posted on CafeMom Mobile
by Ashley on Sep. 15, 2011 at 11:22 AM

Your friend is being completely insensitive. She might not understand just how insensitive she is being, especially with so many children so young, she probably doesn't have a lot of time to process the gravity  of your situation.

Maybe just distance yourself as much as possible to protect your feelings. I am so sorry she is treating you like that.  Some people just don't know what they don't know and unfortunately we have to experience the worst of it with them.

Please know that there are people here who completely support you and understand

Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)