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Am I a terrible person?

Posted by on Nov. 18, 2011 at 1:29 AM
  • 8 Replies

I want to be happy for the newly pregnant...but I can't stop tearing up...

I get physically nauseous when a friend tells me they are pregnant, half jealousy, half scared for them.

Even on TV, it seems like every show has something baby related.  

It has been 5 months...this has to end...

I remember watching the movie Up, when the woman loses the baby and just sits there under the tree, with no expression on her face, I didn't get it before, but now I feel so lost and empty inside....still

by on Nov. 18, 2011 at 1:29 AM
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by on Nov. 18, 2011 at 6:24 AM

Im so sorry you are feeling like this.  Its a completely normal feeling though even after 5 months... sometimes it just takes longer to heal and unfortunately this is apart of that process... All you can do is take it one day at a time and maybe try to find something that can help you cope and move forward.  For some people its counseling for others its some form of closure (like burying something and finding a way to remember your LO) .  I remember crying at that part of the movie too... It was such a cute movie and I was surprised to see that a disney movie would address a loss.... Hang in there and I hope you feel better soon. 


by Lisa, Michigan mom on Nov. 18, 2011 at 8:17 AM

No you're not a terrible person!  Your reaction is completely normal, in my opinion!  I have those days too & it's been 2.5 years since my 1st loss and 3 months since my 2nd.  HUGS!!!

by on Nov. 18, 2011 at 8:59 AM

its only been 5 days since my lose and right now they only time i really tear up is when i have a pregnant woman come through at work (i work at Target in the cafe) and you wont believe how many pregnant women come though. just yesterday i had at least 6!! but then i think that maybe that was a sign from God saying that I will be there really soon!! so im hoping!! 

by on Nov. 18, 2011 at 9:57 AM
You are NOT terrible!! I can't walk by or near a baby isle
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by on Nov. 18, 2011 at 10:37 AM

What you're going through is absolutely "normal." You lost someone who was precious to you. So often, we expect ourselves to just jump right back into form and be able to go on but when something truly hurts you, it takes a while to be able to stare it down without coming apart a little.. at least, in my experience. I remember watching "Up" too and I felt blind-sided. I said to my friend "I thought this was supposed to be a happy kids' movie." I'm so sorry for your loss but just know that we're here for you and understand totally.

by on Nov. 18, 2011 at 2:39 PM

No.  You are not a terrible person.  You are still grieving and that's okay.  I still get a twinge of jealously when I see pregnant women because I don't know if I am ever going to have that again.  :(  It took me a long time to get over my loss.  Be patient with yourself and know that we understand how you are feeling.  We are here for you!  HUGS! 

by on Nov. 21, 2011 at 6:30 PM
So sorry :( it really is so difficult. I couldnt watch hardly anything because it was so difficukt to deal with pregnancy related stuff. It will get easier over time. Thinking of you.
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by on Nov. 21, 2011 at 6:35 PM

I understand. It's only been a week and a half for me, and I've been mostly homebound, since I can't drive following my emergency surgery and blood transfusion, but it seems that any time we go out all I see is pregnant ladies and infants and they are EVERYWHERE and it feels like a dagger in my heart. I actually had a friend who was with me tell me that I needed to get over it.... If she wasn't the one driving, I would seriously have told her to STFU. :(

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