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Struggles and fears post miscarriage

Posted by on Dec. 3, 2011 at 1:33 PM
  • 13 Replies

Hello, I am 30, my husband and I conceived for the first time in July, to loose our baby in week 7.  We had an ultrasound done and was told the baby did not develop past week five.  We both were devastated as we both want nothing more than to be parents and have a strong love for God, and children.  I guess one of my struggles and fears right now is that I will never have a viable pregnancy,  I know that miscarriages are very common, but when it happens to you, I have this fear in the back of my head.  I don't know if other's have this fear as well?  I would love to hear of success stories of pregnancies after miscarriage, my aunt had one, then 3 beautiful children and my husbands aunt had two then 3 beautiful children.  I am anxious that when we do conceive again that it will result in a loss and that emotional pain is not something I ever want to have to live through again.  Any support is much needed, thank you and god bless,

 

by on Dec. 3, 2011 at 1:33 PM
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Replies (1-10):
genabella
by on Dec. 3, 2011 at 3:07 PM

I understand how  you feel and how difficult it can be to be positive about pregnancy and what to expect when your very first experience is heartbreaking. But there are MANY of us who have had miscarriages and gone on to have healthy pregnancies AND babies. My best friend lost her first baby to miscarriage and went on to have her son about one year later. I lost my baby in May 2010 and went on to welcome a beautiful little girl to the world just over a year later. I was absolutely petrified through my entire pregnancy and worried about every cramp, pain, or lack thereof. But that pregnancy was a success. And the pain that you've been through is NOT an indicator of what you should expect. I hate that your very first experience was such a painful one. But know that you are not alone and we ALL are here to listen and offer support.

princess71710
by on Dec. 3, 2011 at 5:16 PM
Thank you for your support and congratulations on your daughter it is nice to talk with people who have had the same life experiences
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day.dreamer
by on Dec. 3, 2011 at 6:56 PM
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I'm sorry for your loss. I lost my first pregnancy in 08 at 13wks. I got pregnant in 09 with my daughter and was petrified the whole time. At 11wks I had ripped the placenta and bruised it (rough sex) then I went into premature labor at 31wks and thank God they stopped it then I had a beautiful little princess at 39wks. She was 7lbs and 21 1/2 inches long. I had a few bumps in the road but its more than possible to have a healthy pregnancy after a loss.
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Timothys_Grl
by on Dec. 3, 2011 at 7:08 PM
I don't have any success stories past miscarriages. I do have 2 beautiful children, my oldest is 4, I had him when I was almost 18, & I had my 2nd in 2010, she's almost 2, me & my dh got pregnant, not on purpose, after my dd was a year old, in april of this year, & I had to have a d&c, I had the sac of a fetus, but no baby, we got pregnant again in September, & I had a miscarriage at 5 weeks, & than we got pregnant right after, & im going through my 3rd miscarry. I have 2 beautiful children, so I'll probably be giving up trying to have anymore, but good luck on having a baby.
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bb510
by on Dec. 3, 2011 at 11:37 PM
I lost my child a few weeks ago in the 8th week. I have a 2 year old, so I obviously know that I can have a successful pregnancy, but I am still nervous about trying again. I think it is just the fear of emotional pain again. My miscarriage was the worst thing I've ever gone through. I am also nervous that I might "stonewall" during my next pregnancy and not allow myself to become attached to the baby. I will really have to work on that.
jennsoisse
by on Dec. 4, 2011 at 2:39 AM
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I'm now 12 weeks pregnant after my miscarriage in may. Was supposed to be 12 weeks last time but found out at nuchal translucency scan that baby only developed to 8 weeks. I felt like something was wrong with my last pregnancy (before i found out something actually was) and this time I feel more excited than nervous. I'm telling myself that yes, something could go wrong, but the chances are better for everything to be fine. I don't want to be a victim of what happened to me. I DO believe there is a plan greater than what I can possibly understand. I hope you get pregnant again soon and that everything is fine :)
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alanasmumma
by on Dec. 4, 2011 at 2:48 AM

 It is very possible to have a successful pregnancy after mc's. I had my oldest daughter in 2005, got pregnant in Aug 2006, Mc'd in Oct at 7 weeks, got pregnant again in Nov 06, Mc'd in Jan 07 at 5.5 weeks, got pregnant in Sept 07 and had my daughter at 38 weeks and 6  days in June 2008. I did have early contractions with her at 26 weeks but the dr's were able to control them and I didn't have any other problems with her. I found out I was pregnant again in Nov this year, within a week I started cramping and knew I was mc'ing even before I went to the hospital. I don't plan to get pregnant again (my last pregnancy wasn't planned and was a complete surprise since I was using 2 forms of protection) But I wish you luck in your journey ttc.

gabrielat
by on Dec. 4, 2011 at 3:18 AM

Your fear is perfectly normal. I had my miscarriage at 9 weeks last July. I never really showed emotion until it was close to my due date, but I still tried to get pregnant even when I wasn't feeling anything about my miscarriage. It effected me a lot but I wouldn't be pregnant with my son now if I didn't have my miscarriage. I have O- blood type, basically meaning I can't bleed at all while I'm pregnant or I'll have a miscarriage if I wait too long to get a certain shot. But thankfully I'm only 3 months away from having my son and each time I go to the Ob/Gyn office, they say my pregnancy is going perfectly. He's constantly moving and his heart rate and growth have been perfect. And I haven't bled or spotted at all during this pregnancy. The only thing I had that was close to spotting was a SUPER tiny spot that was a pinkish color and I started freaking out, but that was when I was 2 or 3 months and nothing happened. Now my little boy is fine and I'm hoping it'll stay fine. Of course I still have fears that he'll be born prematurely or he'll be still born but I can't stress about that. I have to stay positive. 

Just stay positive and keep your faith. Remember everything happens for a reason. I'm not religious myself, but my dad always told me God puts hardships in our lives to make us stronger at the outcome of that hardship and sadness. I miss my angel baby and I'm not happy at all that I suffered a miscarriage, but I'm thankful I had to struggle through that tragity to cherish not only my life more, but I can tell I'm so much stronger and I'm going to cherish my son more than if I didn't loose my first child.

Good luck and just keep your head up =) don't loose faith good luck

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marsh48433
by Lisa, Michigan mom on Dec. 4, 2011 at 9:15 AM
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I am so sorry for your loss!  It's so heartbreaking & scary, experiencing a m/c.  Unfortunately those fears stick around but you will become stronger and overcome them.  You will one day realize that you're ready to try again, those fears will be there but you'll be stronger than they and go for it!  M/C's are very common but they are still so hard to cope with.  They shake your beliefs and make you question things that you'd never thought you'd question.

Praying for you & wishing you a happy, healthy pregnancy when you're ready! HUGS!

newmom2be08
by on Dec. 4, 2011 at 10:27 AM

I totally understand your fear.  It's been a little over a year since our loss and I wonder if I can carry another pregnancy as well.  My situation is a little different though as I have Hashimotos thyroiditis and it 'could' cause a loss, but I all my docs say it didn't.  I wish I could believe that, but there is something inside of me that says that is what caused it.  Just a feeling I have.  Anyway, someone told me you will be ready for another pregnancy when the fear of having another miscarriage is less than the joy of trying to conceive again and carrying a pregnancy.  I thought those were some very wise words.  Hugs to you!

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