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To much for one day

Posted by on Feb. 8, 2012 at 4:26 AM
  • 3 Replies

When i first found out i was pregnant i threw up, i went into doctor thinking i had food poisoning. But as time went on and i excepted it i was ok, and actually a little excited. Even the father was getting excited, and joking around. I had cramping on day and went to ER and they did ultra sounds, i was 3 weeks less then they thought. Since i was on BC they couldn't go by my LMP. But all they saw was a sac. I went in every 3 days my levels were rising, the sac was getting bigger. But still nothing. Today i went in and they looked....sac was still empty. Of course Doctors can be a little emotionless, There wasnt a baby its ok. But technically there was, i had the symptoms, i missed my period, I was pregnant, it just never got to grow. And i grew attached and loved it. I had to made a choice, either take meds at home (which i live in military barracks) so i could do it alone with no privacy or i could do surgery. So i did surgery, and its over, but i hurt inside so bad. I feel like maybe if i would have been happy from the moment i found out instead of shock and disappointment it would have turned out differently. But the other day i prayed for the first time, a real prayer (i believe in God and Jesus, but not religion) but i begged and pleaded and i would be a good mom, and i would be EVERYTHING i could to make this child happy. But no one answered. i just hurt so bad. feel so alone in a room of friends. Anyone have any helping words?

by on Feb. 8, 2012 at 4:26 AM
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Replies (1-3):
sarahtessa
by on Feb. 8, 2012 at 8:11 AM
That is a normal part of the grieving process and with time it will pass. I recommend talking about your feelings with anyone who will listen, friends, family, your SO, cafemom peeps. For me, I didn't really start healing until I could express my loss, then I was able to move forward with peace, faith, and hope, and leave the hurt behind. If you believe in God and in Jesus, just know that you are NEVER alone.
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IepurasRoz
by on Feb. 8, 2012 at 9:16 AM

 im so sorry about your loss :((( It will hurt for a while its normal I guess but its hard expressing it to other people. they wont understand and there is nothing that they can say to make it better. I found it helpful to just talk to my DH. He is my rock! we are both in this so we will go though it together and there is always cafemom to. a group like this where you can share your thoughts with other moms who has been there and is suffering to... I dont find it helpful talking to my friends...i even sound strange when i listen to my voice telling them...sounds so distant so far away...i would rather not do it again*hugs*

newmom2be08
by on Feb. 8, 2012 at 10:26 AM
1 mom liked this

With a blighted ovum pregnancy, so many doctors will say there was no baby, but I beg to differ.  You were pregnant with a child, IMO.  Praying that God will answer your prayer soon!  That's the hard part...the waiting.  HUGS to you! 

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