Do you think that the Duggars should have kept their moment private?

[Cafe Jenn]

Michelle Duggar's Public Miscarriage Helps Others Feel Less Alone

Posted by Mary Fischer on February 15, 2012 at 12:07 

 

Viewers of last night's episode of 19 Kids and Counting couldn't help tearing up after watching Michelle Duggar find out that the baby growing inside of her no longer had a heartbeat. That's the absolute last thing that any parent wants to hear at a routine doctor's visit, whether they are expecting their first child or their twentieth. Grief does not discriminate, and the Duggars were just as devastated as any mom and dad would be.

Going through a miscarriage is very emotional and also incredibly private for a lot of parents, but Jim Bob and Michelle decided to share their experience on reality TV because they hoped to help other parents. They were brave to publicize their awful moment, and they should be applauded for it.

Considering that 1 in 3 pregnancies results in a miscarriage, odds are good that many women who were watching the show last night have been through the loss of a baby themselves. Can you even imagine how many women's hearts were breaking as they watched Michelle receive the awful news? There were probably so many people who sat their on their sofas and wanted to reach through the TV and give Michelle a hug and tell her that they totally understood her pain.

The wounds left by miscarriage can never fully be mended, but just as with any traumatic situation, sometimes the simple act of hearing that someone else is going through the same thing makes the experience a bit less isolating, and offers hope that the strength can be found to move beyond the grief.

By sharing their story, Michelle and Jim Bob offered a priceless gift to other miscarriage sufferers. They showed them that it's okay to be open and honest about what you are feeling after the loss of a child, and proved that no one should ever be expected to hide the fact that they've miscarried -- nor should they be ashamed of it. And perhaps the people they helped the most are those who have chosen not to talk openly about their loss. Even though some may not disclose or discuss their miscarriage with others, it still makes coping more bearable if you have someone you can connect with -- even in silence.

And while the Duggars hoped that airing their moment on television would help other parents come to terms with their own struggles with grief, it was probably also a huge step in their own personal healing process. It can be next to impossible to find any bit of good in such a tragic situation -- but using the experience to try and help others is a wonderful way to honor their baby's memory.

Do you think that the Duggars should have kept their moment private?

[busyizzybsmom]

No. I applaud them for their strength and compassion in seeking to bring comfort to others who have been in their shoes by sharing their story.

[GoldenLinds]

I think they will really help bridge the gap in removing the tabooness of the subject. We've started hearing celebrities speak put which is positive but sometimes comes off as impersonal because they are already in the spotlight so much where as the duggars are normalized and personable people who happen to be televised. If that makes sense. I think they help show that its something emotional and real and not something you cope with and then hold a press conference about.

[notjstanothrmom]

No, I think they were very brave to share. I don't have cable so I can't see the show and they aren't on Hulu but I am glad they shared their experience. I think they are great people.

[echupko]

I'm glad they shared it

[busyizzybsmom]

You can find some clips on youtube and even on tlc.com - I went searching after I read this article. :) It's so comforting in a strange way to see someone else mourning the loss of a child - it really does validate our own sorrows I think and is somehow cathartic.

Quoting notjstanothrmom:

No, I think they were very brave to share. I don't have cable so I can't see the show and they aren't on Hulu but I am glad they shared their experience. I think they are great people.

[mommyofnoah208]

I am glad they shared, people need to see that it happems

[newmom2be08]

I commend them for sharing this emotional moment with America as I think it helps other women who have miscarried know they are not alone.

[kimscorner]

 There is no right or wrong on keeping a moment private.  What matters is what's right for that individual.  If it helps them to speak about it, then that's what's right for them.

I've never hidden my miscarriage, but my now ex-SO has kept it private.  He never told his family I was pregnant or miscarried. 

To each their own.

[newmom2be08]

 

Quoting busyizzybsmom:

You can find some clips on youtube and even on tlc.com - I went searching after I read this article. :) It's so comforting in a strange way to see someone else mourning the loss of a child - it really does validate our own sorrows I think and is somehow cathartic.

Quoting notjstanothrmom:

No, I think they were very brave to share. I don't have cable so I can't see the show and they aren't on Hulu but I am glad they shared their experience. I think they are great people.

 

I searched for the video and can't find it.  Do you know what I should be searching under?  I'd really like to see it.  Thanks, Betsy!

[Cafe Jenn]

It actually hasn't been aired yet. I was watching the new episode as I was posting this article from The Stir. Last night was the first episode of the new season. I'm pretty sure it will be another episode or two before they discuss the miscarriage. She was only 12 weeks along on this one and they had problems finding the HB so early and with her scarring from the last c-section but they used u/s to find it and found it.