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I had a major break down today...

Posted by on Apr. 19, 2012 at 9:37 PM
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Hello ladies.. Yesterday was pretty bad I did not feel good I was so tired I thought nothing could get as worse as my day yesterday... Boy was I wrong.. So I had some running around town I had to do today and I stopped by HEB to grab a few things.. and it seemed all I seen was expecting mother and babies EVERYWHERE. Every time I would pass a expecting mother I would just smile and nod my head but on the inside I was dying and when I would see a baby my heart would just melt. So I was in the checkout line and I had two expecting mothers behind be talking about there pregnancy ( I guess they knew each other of course ) and they were talking about how they would feel the baby kick and what the nursery is going to look like etc.. My eyes started getting very misty.. I just wanted to break down.. but I held my self together until I got to my car and once I did.. I just completely BROKE... I cried for about 20 min before I even put my things in the car I just kept repeating why? why? why? what have I done... why? I finally calmed down enough and got my things in the car ( Luckily I had no frozen or cold items ) I was just wondering has this ever happened to your ladies?

by on Apr. 19, 2012 at 9:37 PM
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by on Apr. 19, 2012 at 9:52 PM
Im so sorry for ur lost....I went to florida last week as a little get away...u know... the happiest place on earth....and everyone there was pregnant...and happy....except me....since my lost (a month ago) two friends announced their pregnancy ....I would be close to 6 month now...I should be getting my nursey together ....instead I crying over loosing my son.....hopes it gets better
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by on Apr. 19, 2012 at 9:57 PM
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I know how bad it feels, but don't lose hope. I tried for five years to have children, (second attempt at ivf was successful) had another three miscarriages before having no. 3 naturally at the ripe old age of 44 years old. Your body does things for a reason. Just trust it and yourself and take some mental pressure off yourself. 

by on Apr. 19, 2012 at 10:29 PM

I'm so sorry for your loss.

It's ok to feel that way.  Yes, it's happened to me too.  Sometimes it's just a lot to deal with and crying helps to relieve the confusion and stress and stuff that I can't describe in words. 

Hope you feel better soon.  Hugs!

by on Apr. 19, 2012 at 11:40 PM
I had several break downs after I lost my babies. Most recently after my last loss, I was at Walmart and there was a mom with her baby who was only a few days old. The baby started crying and I followed right behind, I couldn't hold back my tears, I just walked as far away as I could, as quickly as I could. Hugs
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by on Apr. 20, 2012 at 2:16 AM

I am told it is totally normal. It has happened to me too. Seems like there are tons of pregnant women in the bay area right now, seriously WTF? I saw a woman with a new baby recently and told my husband to please drive as fast as he could from the parking spot so i didn't have to see her. I can't get past the why thing. I keep asking why? So many kind couples who loose their child, why? Horrible people have kids all the time so why?

I just feel i need to make sense of it and there is no sense.

I am really sorry for your loss. I know exactly how it feels.

Lilypie Angel and Memorial tickers

Lilypie Angel and Memorial tickers

by on Apr. 20, 2012 at 3:36 AM
(((hugs))) I totally get it.
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by Ashley on Apr. 20, 2012 at 8:11 PM
Yes it happened to me after we did our last and very painful fertility test and came out with no answers. I cried all 45 minutes back from the hospital. It also happened to me on my due date. I am sorry you are in so much pain. It is healthy to let it out as much as you can. Oh it also happened to me when one of our counselors at our school didn't know I had just lost a baby and she asked me when I was having another one and I said a vague answer and she pushed for more info and I busted out crying. I was embarassed but oh well I lived and so did she.
((((((hugs)))))) i am sorry for your loss
by on Apr. 20, 2012 at 10:16 PM

I think I understand.  I am a teacher and several of our parents have new babies.  There was one at my dismissal post today and I was all shaken -- could barely do my job.  He was a beautiful baby, and I am happy for her...just can't look at or touch him.  :(

by on Apr. 20, 2012 at 10:19 PM
I feel for you! I lost my daughter 5 weeks ago, I was only 20 weeks along. It's hard, some days are better than others.
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by on Apr. 20, 2012 at 10:44 PM

YES!  It's definitely one day at a time & some days are better than others.  I went to Target the other day for a new journal & I purposely avoided the baby section knowing it would upset me.  As I was sifting through the journals, I came across a New Mom Journal to record baby's feedings, sleep, diapers, etc.  I dropped it & tried to get to my car before the tears came.  Luckily, I made it.  I am so sorry for your loss & I hope your good days outnumber your bad days.  (((hugs)))

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