New to this support group and hoping this will help start healing!
I am new to this support group and am truly hoping this will help me with my sadness. Here is my story...
My senior year of college I was diagnoses with ovarian cancer, with no family history this was a big shock for a 22 year old. After 2 intense surgeries they were able to remove both the tumor and my right ovary leaving me cancer free! I knew that my journey (when I was older and married) to start a family may be an uphill battle, however I never realized how draining and devastating this would be.
My husband and I were married a year ago. We both knew we wanted to have a family sooner than later so we stopped using any form of birth control about 6 months prior to the wedding. About 3 months after the wedding we were getting pretty anxious as the process was not going well and decided to seek out some advice from my doctor. My doctor decided to order and HSG (this test was to see if my left tube was open). Although this was a very uncomfortable procedure, it was great seeing the fluid doing what it was suppose to. My husband and I were thrilled to know that my "parts" (for lack of a better word) were looking perfectly normal and working. My husband and I got to work and kept trying to conceive.
After many more months we finally were estatic to learn that we were expecting!! Unfortunately, a couple of weeks later we lost the baby. This was the hardest thing that I have ever gone through, I was (still am) absolutely devestated. I never would have guessed that I could hurt so badly, my heart felt as it was ripped from my chest.
It has now been 2 months since we lost our little angel and I still cry every single day and am so depressed. I have lost interest in everything. I no longer see my friends and when I am not at work I am in my PJ's and either in bed or on the couch. I am still so very sad!
One of my best friends was 2 weeks ahead of me and we were so excited to have our babies at the same time and go through this journey together and now I can't help but be jealous and angry that I no longer get to experience what I have wanted for so long. I hate that I am feeling this way, I want to be happy for her and be a great friend but can't help but want to cry every time I talk to her because I just want to be a mother.
I am really hoping this support group can help me start working through this pain and anger. I just want to start moving forward with my life. I know if I do not stop obsessing and stressing it will continue to be challenging and I may not be able to conceive.
Does anyone have similar circumstances or advice that has helped them cope with their loss? Wanting to be happy again.