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Miscarriage and Pregnancy Loss Support Miscarriage and Pregnancy Loss Support

Someone help plz :(

Posted by on Jun. 15, 2012 at 12:40 AM
  • 7 Replies
So my one of my friend's are pregnant and she just called me yesterday and told me it's going to be a baby girl! She had a miscarriage last year and so I am ridiculously happy for her and her husband. She was talking to me earlier about how she is so excited that this baby is growing so well and that its a girl and then she apologized to me because she knows I lost my little girl about 2 years ago and she didn't want to seem inconsiderate. I feel really bad that she feels like she can't be excited about her baby in front of me! My husband and I have been trying to have a baby for over a year, its depressing for me, but idk maybe a part of me is a little upset that I haven't been able to have another child. I definitely don't want to hurt her feelings though!
What do I do?? How do I totally put my feelings aside and just be happy for her??

Thanks ladies :)
by on Jun. 15, 2012 at 12:40 AM
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Replies (1-7):
Angela4boys
by Angela on Jun. 15, 2012 at 12:45 AM

I kinda know how you feel on this one....we are greiving of course...but I have several friends that had babies while I was in the hospital, and several that are pregnant now...I just don't want people to think that I can't be happy for them, or I'm jealous.  I'm not either, I'm thrilled for them.  We value our family so much and I'm happy for everyone expanding their family...but I think people knowing we are grieving a loss, makes them feel like they need to walk on egg shells around us...and at least for me...that's just not the case...I want to celebrate with them.  (((hugs))) to you Mama!  Prayin' your lucky month is fast approaching :)

smm8220
by on Jun. 15, 2012 at 12:46 AM

Don't put your feelings aside. Instead, try to show a little more of your happiness for her. Shes a good friend of yours so she needs you, but you have feelings of your own. Dont hide them, but tuck them away a little bit if you can. Let her know to be comfortable and talk to you. Everything will be okay. Your beautiful!


Hopefultobe87
by on Jun. 15, 2012 at 1:01 AM
Quoting Angela4boys:

I kinda know how you feel on this one....we are greiving of course...but I have several friends that had babies while I was in the hospital, and several that are pregnant now...I just don't want people to think that I can't be happy for them, or I'm jealous.  I'm not either, I'm thrilled for them.  We value our family so much and I'm happy for everyone expanding their family...but I think people knowing we are grieving a loss, makes them feel like they need to walk on egg shells around us...and at least for me...that's just not the case...I want to celebrate with them.  (((hugs))) to you Mama!  Prayin' your lucky month is fast approaching :)




Thank you! :)
Hopefultobe87
by on Jun. 15, 2012 at 1:02 AM
Quoting smm8220:

Don't put your feelings aside. Instead, try to show a little more of your happiness for her. Shes a good friend of yours so she needs you, but you have feelings of your own. Dont hide them, but tuck them away a little bit if you can. Let her know to be comfortable and talk to you. Everything will be okay. Your beautiful!




Thank you for the advice! :)
GoldenLinds
by Silver Member on Jun. 15, 2012 at 4:05 AM
Don't put your feelings aside. She s being considerate of your feelings which is way more than most anyone gets so she's an angel already. Just help her wade through it. Be happy for her. Tell her you are happy. Tell her when you get overwhelmed. Tell her not to exclude you from her pregnancy because that will hurt more. Hopefully she knows you want to share her happiness and you need her patience now and then but not her pity. Good luck!
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Ladybugmama86
by Silver Member on Jun. 15, 2012 at 8:49 AM

 Just tell her that its okay that she can tell you anything, and those feelings will crop up and you will be jealous and angry at times, but let her be happy like you want her to be and then deal with your feelings later in private.

Thats what I have to do.

Hopefultobe87
by on Jun. 16, 2012 at 2:15 AM
Thanks ladies!!
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