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It's crazy to comprehend how different things are sense loosing Hope.  There is little difference in my marriage, just those moments where we try and be happy when were just not feeling it, but the differences I am noticing are in myself.

I don't sleep at night, normally I am falling asleep at 5am only to wake up three or four hours later.  There are moments when I feel like the world is banging at the door wanting something from me and I am just not up to delivering.  I am suffering from panic attacks if I am in public for long periods of time.  There are moments in the day that I feel like the world is crumbling and no matter how hard I try, nothing is being put back together.

Then I look at my husband and my family and realize that things are slowly falling back into place.  It's alright to cry and be angry but the world is still moving and I have to keep moving too.  I am scared of what tomorrow will bring but it does no use to worry, because it's already written anyway.  I now live my life in honor of my daughter.  I strive to make her proud, make her smile, make her happy, even if she is in Heaven.

Don't feel alone when your scared or angry, because every woman in this group has been there.  It takes a very strong woman to bury/loose her child, but it takes an even stronger woman to continue living.  When things get hard and it feels like your drowning, just stop!  Take a moment to remember that even though your child has wings your still living for them.  Any woman can have a child, but it takes a special child to become an angel.  Just remember, 'When the world says, "give up," Hope whispers, "try it one more time!"

Good luck ladies and many prayers!

by on Jun. 16, 2012 at 1:43 AM
Replies (11-11):
by on Jun. 19, 2012 at 9:08 AM
this brought tears to my eyes.. and im sitting in a doctors office and have people looking at me funny now.. but thanks for sharing this.. :)
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