my significant other has one

[ria888888]

Hi ladies. I am struggling because i was pregnant for the durst time and just lost the baby at 12 weeks. My boyfriend has a child from his first marriage am i am finding it difficult to deal with or be around him since the miscarriage. Any suggestions? I am feeling very guilty for these feelings on top of my depression from the loss of baby.

[mommyofnoah208]

I am so sorry for your loss. It really can take time to be around babies or children and tto have your boyfriend be a dad right now. Just try to let yourself grieve and take it slow. When you are around him give yourself breaks or after he leaves maybe you can take sometime to yourself to breakdown and feel what you need to. Hope it gets easier for you soon

[GoldenLinds]

I absolutely know how you feel. After my loss I tried to save face around my sd but she was also a reminder that I had "failed". It felt that way anyhow. Eventually I found it helped having her around. She would say things about having a baby brother or sister and it would give me such hope. We never told her about our loss because she was so little. It was hard for a while. I definitely can't fault you for wanting some distance there. I think though that once you can handle it, having him around will be surprisingly joyful and hopeful. Hang in there.

[NolaGrl504]

Hi.  I lost my baby at 13 weeks about 6 weeks ago.  It was horribly.  It was spontaneous.  I was work one minute, and the next in an ambulance covered in blood. 

My fiance also has a child.  She is 7 years old.  It was so hard to face her, it still is.  And anytime she draws something, my fiance says "isnt she just a great little kid"   i want to scream..

Its not fair, because I know its not his daughters fault,  but I can't help but feel pain anytime I look at her.  Worse of, we got engaged because I was pregnant.  We are still going through with the wedding, but (and I know this is the right decision) we are going to wait until after we are married to try again.  Downfall, we're not getting married until Oct 2013. I have to go through another year and a half, at least, looking at his daughter and wondering why my baby didnt live...  I try to hold in my resentment..  I hate to think I resent a 7 year old... I just wish things were different in my life... So sorry for your loss,  since we are both going through something similar, perhaps we can help each other..  :O(

[newmom2be08]

I think that's normal to feel that way after a loss.  I didn't want to be around babies after my loss as it was just too painful.  I would talk with your boyfriend about how you are feeling as well.  Praying for better days ahead for you!  HUGS!

[Jennelly92]

I think the feeling must be normal, since after my loss I couldnt stand to be around my baby cousin at all, it was so hard to think that I almost had a baby and that I never would (it felt that way at the time). Eventually it got better but I still needed a little while to adjust.