So my boyfriend and i have been together for almost 4 years now and on the 26th of may we found out we were pregnant. while we werent trying we were so excited about becoming parents. my boyfriend (will) did everything he could to make me comfortable and got me anything i wanted or needed without any sort of argument. after we found out my polycysitic ovarian syndrome started acting up and i started retaining water not only in the giant cysts on my ovaries but also al around my uterus and i gained 12lbs in water weight. while it was extremly painful my dr told me that it wasnt hurting my baby. when i hit 6 weeks i went in for an ultrascan and the dr told me that things didnt look good. the baby wasnt growing and there was no fetal heartbeat it broke my heart. he took some blood and said he had some tests to run and that he would call me in a couple of days. well when he finally called he said things looked real bad that my Hcg levels had been steadly declining and that with all the other factors it was looking like i was going to need to terminate, that i needed to come back in in a couple of days for another scan and quick blood work but that a definate decision would be made then. well the day came and the dr sat me down and explained everything that was going to happen. so i made my way to the designated dr. office and had my d&c and it was the most difficult thing I have ever had to do in my life. im 21 years old and i live in the middle of the south where girls are supposed to reproduce and have a house full of kids by 25 and if not then theres something wrong. well thats never really been the plan for me but once i thought i was going to be having a little one of my own it sounded amazing. and now i just feel like im missing a huge part of myself. nothing really makes me happy and i always want to cry at the drop of the hat. will has been great but i know i havent been as "attentive" to him as i should be but everytime i even think about having sex i just cringe i dont quite feel guilty but thats about as close to an emotion that i can put words to how feel. I jsut want to feel normal again i know that im always snappy and moody and mopy but i jsut cant really feel truly happy at the moment. and i dont know how long will will endure this "dry spell" ( as he puts it) put i really cant imagine my life without him. he has been the rock that has held me down through this entire terrible storm. while i dont neccessarly want to try to get pregnant again because i would like to finish college( i want to get my masters in psychology) a big part of me wants to have a kid now like i feel like i have a knot in my gut thats telling me that i need a kid but my head keeps telling me that i need to finish school so i can be self-sufficent and be productive in society (also because my family puts a big emphasis on getting a degree) im just completly lost i dont know what to do and i cry all the time! do i finish school? or do i start a family?