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My secret

Posted by on Jul. 21, 2012 at 1:59 AM
  • 6 Replies

 Even though I just lossed my baby not even two weeks ago.  I do have people asking when we are going to try again.  I do tell them that we are going to wait a bit, mourn our loss and wait til we are emotionally ready.  BUT... in all honesty... I am petrified to get pregnant again.  I am scared shitless that i wouldnt be able to emotionally handle me mc again.  That the stress of thinking it will happen again will ruin my pregnancy experience. 

When I first got pregnant I always thought  If we mc its ment to be whether it happens in before the 12 wk mark or in the 30th wk.  It will happen if god has it happen.  So waiting the 12 wk mark to tell family and friends just seemed silly to me.  If i did mc i wanted my family n friends to lean on. 

Now with that said my family and closest friends have been an AMAZING support group. 

I notice some girls get right back into wanting to make a baby  but does anyone else feel the same way I do?

by on Jul. 21, 2012 at 1:59 AM
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by Silver Member on Jul. 21, 2012 at 9:08 AM

 After losing this baby I feel the same way. I just can't take it any more, my husband can't take it and my girls can't take being told they are going to have a baby and then they aren't, they don't understand it and hubby and I just  can't go through this again.

He is talking about getting cut and having me get my tubes tied... I am not ready to make it that final yet... I still DO want another baby, I think we just need to wait awhile and heal and go from there.

Hugs sweetie!

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by on Jul. 21, 2012 at 11:28 AM

I totally understand.  From the moment at the hospital when we had it confirmed that we lost Avery, everyone kept telling me that we could try again, we could have another, that one loss didn't lead to another, yada yada...and those things weren't even crossing my mind. 

For me, I CANT try aain, until at least June of next year, so we can take care of other medical issues with me (probably the reason we lost Avery)...So, for me, when people ask if we are trying again, I just say we can't until next year.  I do want another, after having a loss, it made us want another SO much.  But like you, I'm scared.

by Desiree-admin on Jul. 21, 2012 at 11:34 AM

I think its normal to be freaked out.  I'm on birth control but I had a scare this week that I might have got pregnant, I was really really freaking out and scared so bad until my AF came and I felt relief.  Myabe I felt like that because its been over 2 months and its still too soon for me or maybe thats how it will be from now on.  Either way its scary and I definitely think its something you need to think about hard with your SO and yourself.  And try when you think you could handle the possibilities again.  

by on Jul. 21, 2012 at 11:56 AM

i have had 4 mc and one stillbirth.  My due date was 8/12/12.  Yes everything you are feeling is about right.  I feel that way everytime i get pg. My husband and i want another but we are both scared.  We are leaving it up to God.   Hugs go out to you.

by on Jul. 21, 2012 at 11:58 AM
I'm so sorry you feel this way, my advice to you is to pray about it & you will know when you ready to TTC again. Hubby & I got the okay 2 weeks after my D&C to try again & we want to expand our Family. Yes we both & our DS took our loss hard but we are children of GOD & I never go against what plans GOD has set for me (us). The Power of Prayer has gotten us thru so many things I just can't question why he does things. Good Luck to you

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by on Jul. 21, 2012 at 12:16 PM

I felt the same way after my loss and even after I eventually got pregnant again.  I was a wreck for my daughter's pregnancy but it went great and she is almost 2.  I think that its hard early on, esp. since you are still so soon after your loss but with time the anxiety does get better... this leads women to be ready to start TTC again and eventually getting pregnant and etc. I think its good that you know you arent ready yet and you just take all of the time you need to grieve and when you are ready you will know :)  One day at a time is all we can do and while other people may not understand that or feel the same way, its what you need :)  

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